"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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big chest but smaller shoulders

Egoist

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What the hell is going on here, dudes?

My chest is like big and bulletproof, but my shoulders/front delts are lacking.

I am pretty happy with the chest, arms are growing fine, but I want like cannonball shoulders. Whatcha think? More deads? more overhead press?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Egoist

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no pics, but basically my chest is bulging out, but my shoulders are relatively flat. I mean they are ok in width, but i want them to bulge out sideways over my arms and up a little.
 

reyalp

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couple of ideas:
Seated Presses
Front BB Raises
DB Side Laterals
DB Bent Laterals
DB Shrugs
 
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Maybe you have been benching really wide. Do some isolation work to fix the imbalance.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Egoist

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brucevangeorge said:
Maybe you have been benching really wide. Do some isolation work to fix the imbalance.

hmm

i do prefer a wide grip on my bench so I am not just working my tris..

i think ill start doing more seated presses and lat raises.. I havent been doing many of those lately..
 

reyalp

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DB side laterals will bomb the medial delts pretty well.
side incline laterals are also very good for the medial delts, apparently they were Arnold's favorite for making his shoulders wider.
front raises are good for isolating just the anterior deltoid.

just b/c i'm curious....do you have any bodybuilding books?
i have a copy of joe weider's ultimate bodybuilding, i got it for $4 + some change on amazon. it has a ton of exercises listed for each muscle group, and gives you information on what parts of what muscles each exercise will hit.
it could be handy for ya.

i remember (a few years) thinking that my lateral tricep was lagging, referencing the book, and picking out a few exercises to bomb it out. i noticed the results a couple of weeks later.
 

semag

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do you do incline bench??

drop flat BB for a while in favor of incline if not...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Egoist said:
hmm

i do prefer a wide grip on my bench so I am not just working my tris..

i think ill start doing more seated presses and lat raises.. I havent been doing many of those lately..
Tru but I have also noticed that doing it wide also takes some stress off the deltoids.

Also, would any upright rows have effect on the deltoids? I feel it quite a bit in the front and side delts, but not the rear.
 

A-Unit

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Re:

I'm naturally broad, and when younger, shoulders were my strength over chest, and pretty much anything else. Thank God because when i was younger, i was chubby, so it hid some of that.

However, as of recently i've gained significantly in my shoulders, and the biggest reasons I've found for this are:

-Dips, I've done about 3-4 sets, pushing to max dip #'s each time. Just holding yourself elevated works the upper body in total, and puts maximal stress on the pecs, tris, shoulders, and even lats.
-Bent over rows, Dead lifts, and Stiff Deadlifts. Holding such extreme weight for a few sets ends up inducing more stress and muscular growth, IMO, than pushing up 40-50lbs on dumbbells. Again, my imo of what's worked.
-Pullups, Chin-Ups. Moving the body through space is of the most difficult, hence why it builds the most muscle.
-Squats. The release of hormones provided by fully blasting the legs gives the proper hormones throughout the body to induce growth and provide recovery.

I've gotten away from direct shoulder work as of late, because I don't find it as productive as the big 3 and bodyweight exercises. i will do some shoulder presses, and I'll switch to STANDING ones on smyth or just free standing. And I know some who advocate dumbbells altogether, but if I have only limited resources for recovery and limited time, then I will do what grows me most and has the potential for MOST growth the whole body over.

Each person will find the rep range that helps them grow best. You could do dips to max for 3 sets, then try adding 25lbs or 45lbs for fun and see what happens. For me, 3-4 sets and I can't do anything shoulder, chest, or triceps-related.


A-Unit
 

suikeisuru

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Throw out the laterals. You rarely see huge guys doing them because they are hard to progess in with higher weights (have you ever seen someone doing them with 50+lbs with solid form?). Stick to pressing movements for shoulders--these will hit your front and middle delts hard. Rear delts and traps lacking? Heavy compound back exercises will take care of them. No need for shrugs or any direct trap working if you are doing your daily (well not daily!) dose of deadlifts, t-bar rows, etc.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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