Biatch flaked on me. Where do I take it from here?

[Teej]

So my friend and I were out at the bars last Friday (a week and one day ago), and we were just looking to get numbers and noticed this particularly hot babe (let's call her K) outside a club. I wasn't going to talk to her because I was intimidated but my friend kept pushing me. Anyway, I went and talked to her and got her number.

I called her yesterday for the first time since last Friday and it went something like this:

Me: Hey K, what's up, it's Teej, I got your number a week ago downtown etc.

K: Oh hey, I'm surprised you remembered my number.

Me: Well I wrote it down a couple minutes later. Anyway, what you doing tonight?

K: I'm going to a wedding, blah blah blah... how about you?

Me: Probably just studying, I have midterms coming up next week. So anyway, what you doing tomorrow?

K: Nothing.

Me: Well we should do something.

K: Yeah for sure.

Me: Alright let's go play pool at 8 tomorrow night.

K: Sounds good.

Me: OK I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.

So today I called her at 5, 7, 7:30, and 8:15. Her cell would only ring twice and then the voicemail message would come on, so I'm assuming her cell was off. She answered when I called at 8:15 and that went like this:

Me: Hey, how's it going?

K: Ohh... I'm not feeling too good, kind of sleeping. Do you think we could go out another time, I'm really not feeling up for it tonight. (It was really quiet in the background so she was probably at home)

Me: Alright, well, you give me a call when you want to go out.

K: Okay, bye.

I was pissed, but I'm not sure whether I came across that way or not. The reason I'm pissed is because she didn't call me and waited until after 8 for me to call her to tell me that she's not feeling well. I think she's just trying to jerk me around so I'm pissed.

Did I do the right thing? Where should I go from here? I'm pissed... I hate being jerked around.

 

[Don_Marko]

It's a flake buddy... guys who spend years approaching women in clubs still get them and it's relatively common. The reason is you didn't establish enough value when you met her to distinguish you from another guys in her life

 

[SynapsyS]

Let's review the mistakes:

1. You called on the day, just before the date. Bad. If you organise a date, give her the time and place, and go there. If she turns up, great. If she doesn't, then the only loss is fuel.

2. You called multiple times, WHY? You came across as super-desperate and needy, which probably prompted the bail.

3. You put the ball in her court when you said "Ok, well call me when..etc", despite the chance of you 2 meeting up diminishing to 0. Remember this for next time.

In the end, it's possible that you completely put her off by calling so many times. Don't do it in future, make plans then stick to them. If they flake, then they missed a great time, and you simply had the hassle of having to drive to wherever.

However, I think this is where it all went pear shaped:

K: Oh hey, I'm surprised you remembered my number. '

So she missed out on you. Go out and give someone else the opportunity to experience you, and don't mope.

Syn.

 

[Johnnie5]

she could have been sick and been sleeping for the afternoon, who knows

she offered another time so i would try it again but next time when you make the date avoid the i'll call you tomorrow

set the date/time/place where you meet or pick her up and go with it there is no need for multiple phone calls

 

[ecvegas]

don't be bothered by it...and don't be so sensitive.

The chick bailed on you. The best thing in the middle of this is say "hold on, I have another call" and then hang up on her. She'll think it's in error. Only thing is...don't call back. She has your number...and she may be so pissed, that she'l call you back on principal. Thus, the game begins. Then again, she may not. Bottom line, you got the last laugh in a situation you had no chance of winning...and she realized that you don't take flaking lightly.

If a woman is a flake, then be difficult. It's all a test to see how you value yourself. Don't get mad...just be a man.

 

[stalluproar]

2 Rings = Ignore button pushed on phone.

 

[flexion_]

She counter offered - whats the problem?

A lot of women like to hang low when they are sick or getting pelvic pains from their period.

I'd give her a call in a few days to set up another date. Don't leave the ball in her court when you have just met her.

 

[sstype]

Originally posted by stalluproar
2 Rings = Ignore button pushed on phone.

I KNOW! chicks must think im retarded for believing that im getting their voicemail after one fycking ring

 

[Teej]

Alright, so if she doesn't call back (99% chance), and I see her at the club again (which I probably will), what do I do? Just ignore her?

 

[sstype]

heres what you need to do, stop worrying so damn much about this one girl and move on....i mean is she really worth all this trouble?

 

[Teej]

Originally posted by sstype
heres what you need to do, stop worrying so damn much about this one girl and move on....i mean is she really worth all this trouble?

I'm not very good at picking up, so when I get one I try not to mess it up. If I do I get upset, obviously. I suppose I need to get better at picking up.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

yep. Make sure to flirt with other girls right in front of her too if you can.

 

[backbreaker]

first of all, even if she hit the ignor button, she didn't have his phone number so she didn' tknow it was him.. I do the same thing when I see a number I don't know.


She probably did flake on you,b ut the might have very well been sick... If I would have followed the rules to this forum to a T ,I woul dhave dumped my last GF before we got together and we were together for the better part of a year... She flaked on me on our first TWO dates, and I called her and told her I think sh e is a very good ooking woman that's down to earth and I like her and all, but I am going to give her one more chance to go on our date and if she doesn't then she won't hear from me again. Turns out she was having issues with her EX BF and we did go on the date and the rest was history.

anyway, ,might be a flake, probably is a flake, but if she set up another date, give her the benefit of the doubt. Be honest with her. Tell her "hey, I know you are flaking on me, but because I am a great person I am going to give you one more chance before I stop calling you, because I don't tolorate flaky women" or something along thoose lines

 

[Teej]

Originally posted by backbreaker
first of all, even if she hit the ignor button, she didn't have his phone number so she didn' tknow it was him.. I do the same thing when I see a number I don't know.


She probably did flake on you,b ut the might have very well been sick... If I would have followed the rules to this forum to a T ,I woul dhave dumped my last GF before we got together and we were together for the better part of a year... She flaked on me on our first TWO dates, and I called her and told her I think sh e is a very good ooking woman that's down to earth and I like her and all, but I am going to give her one more chance to go on our date and if she doesn't then she won't hear from me again. Turns out she was having issues with her EX BF and we did go on the date and the rest was history.

anyway, ,might be a flake, probably is a flake, but if she set up another date, give her the benefit of the doubt. Be honest with her. Tell her "hey, I know you are flaking on me, but because I am a great person I am going to give you one more chance before I stop calling you, because I don't tolorate flaky women" or something along thoose lines

She did know it was me because I called her the previous day, and this was her cell. She might have just wanted to avoid talking to me right then and just wanted to tell me the next day that she was sleeping because she was sick or something. I should probably call her later in the week and just ask her if she wants to do something, and set up a definite time and place.

 

[tmpgstx]

Classic flake with uno numero guy in her life. Her admirers. Anytime you hear 'yeah, for sure'. It should be in the ******** dictionary for "I'm a flake".

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
Classic flake with uno numero guy in her life. Her admirers. Anytime you hear 'yeah, for sure'. It should be in the ******** dictionary for "I'm a flake".

hahahahha that's right.

To the original poster:
Worst case scenario: she has zero interest in you
Best case scenario: she has some attracton and is testing you to see how desperate and easy to control you are

I am leaning toward the first one, especially after she tells you she is going to a dam-n wedding and other similar bullsh-it. I've heard many excuses, including every variation of the "I'm busy" shi-t, but if some girl told me she was going to a wedding, whether she was or she wasn't, I would make dam-n sure I made fun of her for that and had a good laugh....
Some form of extreme sarcasm like:
"Dam-n, that's exciting... well, don't want to keep you from such an important event, bye."
I mean leave her feeling a little less in control, a little stupider, and if possible, sorry she blew you off.

 

[SparkleMotion]

My 2 cents is, simply delete her number and never call her again. "More fish in the sea".

Plus calling her that many times seems desperate to women, especially starting to call 3 hours before the planned date.

If you see her in a club, don't completely ignore her. Just don't spend time with her. Acknowledge her prescence, by smiling and saying hi. Spend your time hitting on other women, or hanging out with your friends.