Beyond the 3rd Date...

[darkjedi]

As my first post, I first want to thank everyone who has contributed to the forums on this site. I have learned so much and it has brought me such a long way. The information here is truly Priceless and has in no doubt helped me to get to where I am in becoming a DJ. Thank you!

So here's my situation. I can for the most part get dates which go pretty well (good kino and kiss at the end of the night) and women will accept another date with me (I call 2-3 days after the date and usually try to set a date for 2-3 days after the day of the call).

Now I have reached a point in which a few of the women that I am dating have been on more than 3 dates with me, but have not had sex with them yet. For the first date second and third dates I usually take women to dinner, to a bar, and then dinner again not in that order. This is usually in the middle of the week like on a Tue or Wed or any other non-weekend day. I will usually try and ask them over to my place so I can escalate, but I always get that it's pretty late and that they have to work in the morning. I'm now stuck as to how to proceed beyond the 3rd date. Here are my questions:

1. After 3 dates is it ok to just ask a woman to come over to your place to like watch a movie or something? (keep in mind I am looking to escalate sex) If not, when is a good time to present this idea? How would you do it?

2. I date during the week and I find that woman around my age (I am 27) will have to work the next day, so they will not come over to my place as a result of this. Is there any way around this or do I need to sacrifice a weekend night to take them out and hopefully then get them back to my place? (I like to hang out with my friends and pick up new woman on my weekends by the way) Any other opinions on this would be great as this is a big one for me.

3. After 3 dates, when is it good to escalate sex and how?

4. Lastly, beyond the 3rd date, what else would you do with a woman for say a 5th date 6th date ect... I'm kind of running out of things to do.

FYI I am not looking for a LTR, but would be open to one down the line if things were really good. I'm more into the sex first LTR later...

Sorry for the long post, but I have no doubt that you can help me out.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You forgot to buy them flowers. You gotta get them a couple of dozen flowers and show up to their door when you pick them up for date. You must take them to expensive restaurants. She will judge you, so you must show her you can be a real man and provide for her. If you can afford it, make sure you pick them up in a rented limo, wearing a tuxedo. Do not forget the chocolates.

Come on man, you gotta be kiddin' me here. You like to go with your buddies during the weekends to pick up new girls you can take to dinner during the week? Meet more girls who have to get up early and work, therefore won't be able to go kick it at your place with you? That is one nasty cycle you have gotten yourself into.

I am sure you are just trolling here, but I will take the time to post for the hundreds of chumps here who actually are going through this type of crap and are that clueless.


So I'll answer your points:

1. You should have built enough attraction and gotten a vibe going after your first meeting, I don't call them dates, but that's not relevant, to invite them over to go chill at your house. It should be just a continuation of your first meeting, where you pick it up where you left off. If you have done your job well, she will make it very easy for this to happen.

2. Go on a few coffee "dates" during the week, and if there is any connection/chemistry, pick the ones you like and invite them to hang out on a weekend night. If she is into you, she will stay up very late, regardless of her work schedule the next morning. My girl is 27, and gets up at 5am to work at 7am. She's asleep by 9pm. Our first get together was on a sunday, at around 6pm. She left home at around 3:30am, and she still wanted to stay with me.

3. You won't be able to escalate sex or escalte to anything if you haven't done your groundwork in the first few meetings. Go back to the basics. I hate when people here say it, but I must now. GO READ THE BIBLE!

4. If you haven't bored her to death, if you do your ground work, and have gotten sexual by then, you won't need a 5th and 6th date, those will be her meeting you at your place, etc. By then, she will be the one bringing up going out, and coming up with ideas, you won't have to worry about it.


You are not looking for LTR, just to have sex? Easy professor, you gotta learn how to crawl before you can sprint.

You are more into the sex first, then LTR later? Guess what? The women are more into the "buy me dinner, and give me attention first, then I'll move on to the next chump late". Stop being generic. It is so easy to be different. DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.

 

[darkjedi]

So I'll answer your points:

1. You should have built enough attraction and gotten a vibe going after your first meeting, I don't call them dates, but that's not relevant, to invite them over to go chill at your house. It should be just a continuation of your first meeting, where you pick it up where you left off. If you have done your job well, she will make it very easy for this to happen.

I agree with this point strongly and don't have a problem building attraction, but still stuck at when (after x number of dates) and how to bring up heading to my place or inviting a woman to my place to chill.

2. Go on a few coffee "dates" during the week, and if there is any connection/chemistry, pick the ones you like and invite them to hang out on a weekend night. If she is into you, she will stay up very late, regardless of her work schedule the next morning. My girl is 27, and gets up at 5am to work at 7am. She's asleep by 9pm. Our first get together was on a sunday, at around 6pm. She left home at around 3:30am, and she still wanted to stay with me.

This is good info and I agree with your point here. It sounds like you recommend that I should be using these dates during the week as a way to feel them out and make plans for a weekend night. Is this correct? Would you even bring up comming to your place even if she has to work the next day?

3. You won't be able to escalate sex or escalte to anything if you haven't done your groundwork in the first few meetings. Go back to the basics. I hate when people here say it, but I must now. GO READ THE BIBLE!

I will go read the DJ Bible.

4. If you haven't bored her to death, if you do your ground work, and have gotten sexual by then, you won't need a 5th and 6th date, those will be her meeting you at your place, etc. By then, she will be the one bringing up going out, and coming up with ideas, you won't have to worry about it.

After I have gotten sexual with a woman, her meeting me at my place should not be a big deal is what you are trying to say am I correct?

You are not looking for LTR, just to have sex? Easy professor, you gotta learn how to crawl before you can sprint.

Agreed...

You are more into the sex first, then LTR later? Guess what? The women are more into the "buy me dinner, and give me attention first, then I'll move on to the next chump late". Stop being generic. It is so easy to be different. DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.

So true :crackup:

[/QUOTE]

Thanks for your reply Gangster of Love, I guess I just need you to elaborate a little more on a few things as it's not really clear to me how to handle #2

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...3. After 3 dates, when is it good to escalate sex and how?....

It's been three dates and it hasn't happened yet???

 

[darkjedi]

It's been three dates and it hasn't happened yet???

:crackup: nope...

Pretty hard to do when you can't get em back to your place as "it's late and I have to work in the morning" excuse rings out.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

:crackup: nope...

Pretty hard to do when you can't get em back to your place as "it's late and I have to work in the morning" excuse rings out.

Even though I was joking, there's truth to this. There isn't a magic number of dates to achieve anything. If anything women aren't mathematically quantifyable (at least not until after the divorce and they take half your stash).

 

[wheelin&dealin]

2nd date = rent a movie at your place = kino = makeout. 3rd date = sex.