Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Better to be divorced man with kids or never married?

SteveBlaine

Banned
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
94
Reaction score
45
Age
53
I am approaching 50 and never married, no kids, and no mortgage.
Although I once had a mortgage and discovered home ownership was overrated. (Sold property)
I had a long-term girlfriend and discovered that was overrated too.(Broke up)
I like kids, but never found a woman I wanted to have kids with.(no right woman)

Ironically, in my 20's, 30's, 40's I never had problems getting dates. Awesome dating life.

Nowadays so many women dismiss me. Some say why never married? Of course you are labeled a weirdo at a certain age. I go to the bars to have fun but the girls are so young that I don't even approach them. All the old women, have kids, let themselves go, and kind of depress me.

I work out everyday for 2 hours in the gym, pound the weights, run, eat clean and stay fit. I expect a woman to do the same or at least make an effort.

I am thinking of deleting my Facebook account because I don't like to be labeled while all my friends are married. Should 50 something yr old men just disappear?
My self esteem is good and my confidence is high---but feel out of place. Maybe its just Ohio. Florida and California have more older singles. In NYC everyone is welcome. lol

So my question is ..are men with kids who are divorced better catches than single men who never married?
 

derricklerrick

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2017
Messages
37
Reaction score
14
Age
27
The reason why they wonder why they care about you not being married is because they think no other woman wants you; being at an age of 50 and unmarried is not very common, so you get dismissed.

It's like the nerdy fat kid who approaches a hot chick in school only to get dismissed because she's "not pursuing relations at the moment" but we all know she rejected him just because he's ugly and fat AND also because if no one else wants him then her SMV is only going down if she dates her.
 

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,201
Reaction score
3,328
Age
50
Location
Hoe County, California
Sean Connery won the sexiest man alive at 69!

Forget about it.:cool:
 

SteveBlaine

Banned
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
94
Reaction score
45
Age
53
The reason why they wonder why they care about you not being married is because they think no other woman wants you; being at an age of 50 and unmarried is not very common, so you get dismissed.

It's like the nerdy fat kid who approaches a hot chick in school only to get dismissed because she's "not pursuing relations at the moment" but we all know she rejected him just because he's ugly and fat AND also because if no one else wants him then her SMV is only going down if she dates her.

That is not the mind-set of women. I think it has more to do with not wanting to commit. What does SMV mean? lol..... Is that technical dating jargon for "Single Male Value?" I think it means "value" or something to that effect.
I was the one who ended most of the relationships. Yes, its true women want a man who is desired by other women. I have had a few women want to date me seriously regardless of not being married---but no way--they let themselves go. I guess my SMV flies out the window?
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,542
Reaction score
2,227
Location
NYC
What does SMV mean? lol..... Is that technical dating jargon for "Single Male Value?" I think it means "value" or something to that effect.
sexual market value or something like that, like the 10-scale we rate women on
 

derricklerrick

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2017
Messages
37
Reaction score
14
Age
27
I'm not saying there is anything wrong to be unmarried at an age of 50 but that's not something you see happen very often, or that's how it is where I live at least. SMV is "sexual market value" which means how desired you are.
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,512
Reaction score
3,435
It does raise a few hairs on my neck when I hear a man say this. As a female, you think "he is so picky, no one will ever be good enough for him, and I'm not interested in investing my time so he can eventually tell me the same"

That said, if you are interested in finding a female/partner, may I suggest you consider throwing in some "regret about being too focused on work and not enough focus on dating/on finding a life partner" and something about re prioritizing your time because you are looking for that special someone to develop a relationship and be close with"

That will give the impression that youve realized the "error of your ways" and are looking to find something real. Its verbal reassurance for the female.
 
Last edited:

SteveBlaine

Banned
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
94
Reaction score
45
Age
53
I would like to position myself to be an "in demand" 50 yr old male. I am not a swinging single or trying to pick up young girls. I prefer a classy mature woman within my age range. I have several college degrees, I work out in the gym, look attractive, modest income, look young for my age, and dress stylish. It seems like the only way a 50 yr old can be hot is to be super wealthy... lol.

Young guys don't need money. I can attest to that. For example, a young guy can be poor, single, drive a beater car, dress cool, be somewhat attractive, have inner game and be wanted by MANY women.

The game changes after age 40. I am thinking of getting off social media, going to wine tastings or conference events and more appropriate settings.
 

SteveBlaine

Banned
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
94
Reaction score
45
Age
53
It does raise a few hairs on my neck when I hear a man say this. As a female, you think "he is so picky, no one will ever be good enough for him, and I'm not interested in investing my time so he can eventually tell me the same"

That said, if you are interested in finding a female/partner, may I suggest you consider throwing in some "regret about being too focused on work and not enough focus on dating/on finding a life partner" and something about re prioritizing your time because you are looking for that special someone to develop a relationship and be close withdrawing

That will give the impression that youve realized the "error of your ways" and are looking to find something real. Its verbal reassurance for the female.
Good point and well taken. I like it.
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,512
Reaction score
3,435
The game changes after age 40. I am thinking of getting off social media, going to wine tastings or conference events and more appropriate settings.
I love that idea. It seems very socially refined. It would be great to be at a wine tasting, or social gathering of that nature, and have a gentleman strike up a conversation with me.
 
Last edited:

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,398
Reaction score
2,699
Location
Texas
The reason why they wonder why they care about you not being married is because they think no other woman wants you; being at an age of 50 and unmarried is not very common, so you get dismissed.

It's like the nerdy fat kid who approaches a hot chick in school only to get dismissed because she's "not pursuing relations at the moment" but we all know she rejected him just because he's ugly and fat AND also because if no one else wants him then her SMV is only going down if she dates her.
Being almost 50 is like being an ugly, nerdy, fat kid?

I'm 46.5, never married, no kids and dating a 21 year old beauty who is literally blowing up my phone with 6 part messages every few hours. I've never had better sex. Granted, she is rare, but she said mid 40's is her ideal age for a man.

Nobody cares about your age or your marital status. They want you to look healthy and have money.
 

SteveBlaine

Banned
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
94
Reaction score
45
Age
53
Being almost 50 is like being an ugly, nerdy, fat kid?

I'm 46.5, never married, no kids and dating a 21 year old beauty who is literally blowing up my phone with 6 part messages every few hours. I've never had better sex. Granted, she is rare, but she said mid 40's is her ideal age for a man.

Nobody cares about your age or your marital status. They want you to look healthy and have money.
When I was 40 this 19 yr old was constantly flirting with me at my job. She was a guest at a resort. This girl was very cute and with a hot body--- she finally seduced me and came back to my place and it happened. A wild night of sex ---- and more nights of sex. Was it mindblowing? Meh.
Its no big deal to get with a 19 or 21 yr old. Been there, done that.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
I'm a 48 year old chick. I dig men your age who make the effort to take care of themselves, have their act together & who work to keep up their appearance. I'm somebody who weighs less than I did in high school and can still wear dresses from 20 years ago & look hot.

Get out of Ohio if there is no market there or if you feel socially shunned. Life is too short for that. Seriously. You have afforded yourself that luxury. Go to SoCal, Vegas, PHX, Miami, Austin, Phoenix, or even Minneapolis. There are great singles scenes in our age bracket in all those places and lots to do.

Will some women care that you never married? Maybe but so what. Just own it. I worked for a while with a good looking 47 year old guy who is successful and fit...never married. Close twice but didn't do it. He was a good guy too.

Think about what you desire in a chick. There are hot women in their 40's with grown kids. There are young women in their 20s with no kids (who may want marriage & kids one day), and there's everything in between.

If you never want kids you have to be careful with women of childbearing age (or get snipped), if you date women who already have kids the kids are going to take up some time she would otherwise be able to spend with you etc. You may have conflicts of "life stage". Obviously that won't matter if you only want short flings & sex but it will matter if you settle into a longer term arrangement.

But I think location is your bigger issue. Move somewhere with more going on. Get out there and spend some time exploring various areas.
 

derricklerrick

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2017
Messages
37
Reaction score
14
Age
27
Being almost 50 is like being an ugly, nerdy, fat kid?

I'm 46.5, never married, no kids and dating a 21 year old beauty who is literally blowing up my phone with 6 part messages every few hours. I've never had better sex. Granted, she is rare, but she said mid 40's is her ideal age for a man.

Nobody cares about your age or your marital status. They want you to look healthy and have money.
You're taking it out of context here. When I took the analogy of a nerdy kid I meant that not being married at an age of 50 may seem off to some women. They may perceive it as no one else being attracted to you which could then lessen their interest in you.
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 31, 2013
Messages
1,867
Reaction score
211
It does raise a few hairs on my neck when I hear a man say this. As a female, you think "he is so picky, no one will ever be good enough for him, and I'm not interested in investing my time so he can eventually tell me the same"

That said, if you are interested in finding a female/partner, may I suggest you consider throwing in some "regret about being too focused on work and not enough focus on dating/on finding a life partner" and something about re prioritizing your time because you are looking for that special someone to develop a relationship and be close with"

That will give the impression that youve realized the "error of your ways" and are looking to find something real. Its verbal reassurance for the female.
But those are lies!
You're saying to basically say whatever to appeal to whomever wants to hear...."yea. I focused too much on work"
" Wish I spent more time on love"

Or. ."yea I used to be a player, but I changed"

Or " yea, I gambled my savings away, but now I want stability baby, please take me"
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 31, 2013
Messages
1,867
Reaction score
211
Also. ..
It's not the age. Some guys date "easy" bar maids, strippers, because they have daddy issues.
I'm freaking 40 and I'm always around 22 yr olds because I feel 22.
I party and I work. I work out in fun t shirts.

Whining about not having the fun life at old age is whaaaa whaaaa whaaaa
Guess what?
Start having fun you old goat.

You're not having fun outside with girls cuz you are not having fun internally because you're boring.

No amount of 2 hours in the gym and stylish clothes is gonna fix your 7 pm dinners and 9 pm bed time tea.
 

SteveBlaine

Banned
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
94
Reaction score
45
Age
53
Also. ..
It's not the age. Some guys date "easy" bar maids, strippers, because they have daddy issues.
I'm freaking 40 and I'm always around 22 yr olds because I feel 22.
I party and I work. I work out in fun t shirts.

Whining about not having the fun life at old age is whaaaa whaaaa whaaaa
Guess what?
Start having fun you old goat.

You're not having fun outside with girls cuz you are not having fun internally because you're boring.

No amount of 2 hours in the gym and stylish clothes is gonna fix your 7 pm dinners and 9 pm bed time tea.
ha ha I am hardly an old goat. Some have told me I look 25. lol. I get told that more than enough.
I don't go to bed at 9pm. I go to bed at 2am. I don't fix dinners. I go out to eat whenever I want or eat something at home whether 8pm or midnight.

It is Ohio. Its not my lifestyle here. Its college aged kids or married people. The divorcees are out of shape and ugly.

I'm moving to where the single hotties are.
 

SteveBlaine

Banned
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
94
Reaction score
45
Age
53
Get out of Ohio if there is no market there or if you feel socially shunned. Life is too short for that. Seriously. You have afforded yourself that luxury.
OH HELL YEA. Like the sound of that baby. Straight up -- like my whiskey.
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,398
Reaction score
2,699
Location
Texas
Nowadays so many women dismiss me. Some say why never married? Of course you are labeled a weirdo at a certain age. I go to the bars to have fun but the girls are so young that I don't even approach them.
When I was 40 this 19 yr old was constantly flirting with me at my job. Was it mindblowing? Meh. Its no big deal to get with a 19 or 21 yr old. Been there, done that.
Winner! Greatest contradiction within minutes.

21 year old women are so young Steve doesn't approach them, but it's no big deal, been there done that? So wait, the only thing missing is he isn't married?

And needle off record - 20 year old women are meh? All 20 year old women? The average Playboy Playmate is 21. On average all men at all ages in all countries want women who look 20 (not who act 20).

Sounds like Steve got one chunky young girl 10 years ago and somehow thinks he's had every girl in every sorority.
 
Top