beta orbiter confessed - gf still friends with him

[smurfs]

- beta orbiter has been friends with the gf for 5 years
- gf becomes single, beta orbiter confesses love for her, she rejects him cause she was 'seeing' me
- awkward moments ensue when group catch ups occur however eventually they become friends again and are talking on the regular.

Question:
Should I be concerned or feel a level of disrespect in that my gf has still remained good friends with this orbiter even though she has already rejected his confession?
I feel somewhat uncomfortable with this thought however am inclined to let it pass...

 

[IndeedSir]

Normally, you'd have nothing to be concerned about. It's unlikely she's attracted to him, sounds like he's hardcore in the friend zone. If she starts putting him first or doing anything you don't like (sleeping in a bed with him), I'd probably find a female friend to do the same thing with and see if she likes it. Indifference is always the way to go, though. Jealousy has never, ever yielded positive results for me.

 

[Syrio]

I don't think this is anything to be concerned OR offended by. I think that if you follow indeed's advice and hang out with other women specifically in response to her hanging out with the beta friend, then you are letting jealousy get to you. I mean, of course it's fine to hang out with other women, but don't do it just to 'get back' at her for hanging out with some guy.

And furthermore I would bet that the chances anything would ever happen between the two of them are slim to none. I've seen this scenario that you are describing countless times. In my experience, the beta never gets the girl but they almost always remain friends (at least for a time). I think your best bet is to not even concern yourself with the issue.

Your girlfriend is an average girl. Take that how you want, personally I think its a big negative.

lol what a useless comment. Let's just try to upset people without any intention of benefiting anybody, and provide no reasoning for our absurd claims.

 

[TheException]

Question:
Should I be concerned or feel a level of disrespect in that my gf has still remained good friends with this orbiter even though she has already rejected his confession?
I feel somewhat uncomfortable with this thought however am inclined to let it pass...

Why would she give up the free attention she receives from him? He confessed his love....got denied.....and still gives his attention to her. She most likely sees him as a "brother".

You dont feel "disrespected"....thats a cover for feeling "insecure". You fear her hooking up with him...lets be honest. Good news is you most likely have nothing to fear. Women are going to monopolize attention, especially when they dont have to sleep with the guy to get it.....either understand this important concept or switch to dating men. ALL WOMEN will get attention from OTHER MEN.

Unless she crosses a "major line" or cheats, its not a big deal....and no...."having a conversation" is NOT a "major line".

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Just enjoy the time of being on the good side right now lol

 

[donking]

do you want to date an attention ho? do you?

I made my ex-wife delete all her guy friends before we got serious. She complied on the spot. Do it.

Everyone has their own line to cross. It bothered you enough to post. So either tell her to delete this guy or you'll delete her from your life. I usually tell the girl to get rid of ALL of them.

It is okay to keep looking for a new girl. Don't settle.

 

[smurfs]

You are all very right here...

I will need to work on my inner game more to overcome insecurities rather than throwing the reason of disrespect to give me leverage.

@PairPlusRoyalFlush you are also correct.. she is 'average' compared to the quality of the other girls I have dated and she lacks much relationship experience due to her previous ex giving her free reign (long distance) for 4+ years.

-------
Today she visited another one of her close orbiters at his workplace in a shopping centre which drew out further insecurities from me as I coaxed her into basically telling me she hung out with him (she only mentioned the shopping centre).

Basically should I internalize that i shouldn't be worried about her 1on1 catch ups with 'guy friends' due to the beta bux, alpha fux theory?

 

[Uncharted]

Don't be jealous because you have nothing to be jealous about. He's doing everything "wrong" and she doesn't see him as a sexual being.

If you don't want her hanging out with him, just tell her you don't think it's appropriate for her to hang out one-on-one with a guy that has feelings for her, but that it's OK to see him in a group or text/talk/whatever.

That's what I've done before and I've had no complaints. If she says something like "well he's only a friend I can see him 1-on-1", just repeat "I don't think that's appropriate." She'll get the idea. If not, you know what to do.