Beta Father Figure

[youngprodigy]

My dad's successful financially as he progressed from being in the lower income class from when he first came to Canada, to being in the upper middle class now.
While this is impressive, as an individual he's what you would describe as being beta. He's emotionally sensitive (can't stress how annoying this is), moody and lets my mother take charge of the relationship.

Me being the oldest son, I have taken the leading role in the house. My dad sees me as insensitive, impulsive and selfish. This causes us to have a troublesome relationship.

For those with similar father figures, how do you go about dealing with them?

 

[backseatjuan]

Live your life. Help your parents, your father and your mother, bear near.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Just keep doing you. If he's a wimp he won't do anything about it. Just avoid him. Look at him as someone who lets you live in his house for free and feeds you, but don't look at him as a father. That's what I do so that I can live with my dad.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Ok I'm curious about something now. How is it exactly that you are in a leading role being 19 and still living in your parents' house? What duties does this encompass?

 

[Bokanovsky]

You don't pick your parents. Your dad is who he is. Be respectful towards him, but at the same time don't let his character flaws rub off on you.

 

[Red Legg]

If you are living at home still YOU are the beta son..

 

[Gimple]

If you are living at home still YOU are the beta son..

Nah, a guy can be alpha and still live with his parents. I remember a few guys in high school (and just out of it) who were alpha and pulled tons of chicks, yet they lived with their parents.

OP, how would you define "taking the leading role in the house," and how does your dad respond to it? Without knowing this, answering your question would be tough.

 

[youngprodigy]

I have a weird family. My mother is sort of like a BPD person, while my dads beta in the sense I described and also since he's not always home, since his business requires him to go to the U.S most of the week.

Nah, a guy can be alpha and still live with his parents. I remember a few guys in high school (and just out of it) who were alpha and pulled tons of chicks, yet they lived with their parents.

OP, how would you define "taking the leading role in the house," and how does your dad respond to it? Without knowing this, answering your question would be tough.

I sort of take the leading role where I get a say in major decisions of the house and they go along accordingly (buying new house, new car and etc.),

 

[Gimple]

I sort of take the leading role where I get a say in major decisions of the house and they go along accordingly (buying new house, new car and etc.),

But how does your dad respond to you having a say in major decisions? Does he feel threatened, like you're incringing on his territory -- or does he just welcome your input?

 

[switch7]

My dad's successful financially as he progressed from being in the lower income class from when he first came to Canada, to being in the upper middle class now.
While this is impressive, as an individual he's what you would describe as being beta. He's emotionally sensitive (can't stress how annoying this is), moody and lets my mother take charge of the relationship.

Me being the oldest son, I have taken the leading role in the house. My dad sees me as insensitive, impulsive and selfish. This causes us to have a troublesome relationship.

For those with similar father figures, how do you go about dealing with them?

What is your relationship with your mum like?

 

[Red Legg]

Nah, a guy can be alpha and still live with his parents. I remember a few guys in high school (and just out of it) who were alpha and pulled tons of chicks, yet they lived with their parents.

OP, how would you define "taking the leading role in the house," and how does your dad respond to it? Without knowing this, answering your question would be tough.

If you are an adult and mooch of your parents you are a slug..

 

[youngprodigy]

If you are an adult and mooch of your parents you are a slug..

I'm 19 and attending school hoping to go to medical school. I don't plan on working a factory job just so I can move out. My ego isn't that fragile.

 

[youngprodigy]

What is your relationship with your mum like?

She understands me, somewhat. I can comfortably tell her about most of the things going on in my life (can't do this with my father). We get along pretty well to be honest. Only thing is she's hella bipolar, manipulative and a liar at times