So I just got back from being stationed overseas for a few yrs and Im not in my hometown for a few weeks and the other day I had lunch with a friend, his fiancee and her mother. Turns out both the mother and daughter are trying to set me up with their other daughter who is dating some loser who doesnt have money, does drugs and treats her like crap. Her mom was even showing me pics on her cell and telling me she looks even prettier now and basically talking her up. My friend said he and his fiancee(the other sis) are going to take me to her workplace and introduce us. Hes suggested that I ask her out for coffee thinking shed say no to dinner and would be pissed if she knew they were trying to set her up. Now I can take it from there and know Im a helluva upgrade from her current bf but am wondering how to go about asking her out taking into consideration the fact that she is seeing some guy. Any ideas?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Best Way To Go About This?
- Thread starter armybyrd
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
SamTheHobit
Master Don Juan
Ask her out, and and see what happens.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
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She is with an abusive drug user. She's not going to lose her bad boy cravings overnight. It can take years, if it even happens at all.
You definitely are a major upgrade for her. But girls like that are seldom bright enough to see that.
You could invite her out for a drink at a cool bar. But honestly my gut feeling is to walk away. While her family means well, we don't know if she actually wants to be "rescued" from the other guy.
You definitely are a major upgrade for her. But girls like that are seldom bright enough to see that.
You could invite her out for a drink at a cool bar. But honestly my gut feeling is to walk away. While her family means well, we don't know if she actually wants to be "rescued" from the other guy.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She's already dating (f*cking) a bad boy alpha. Her family wants to set her up with a "nice guy" beta. You're it.armybyrd said:
If you don't know what that means, you're at Step 1. Start readin'
I'm not entirely sure you're in danger, though. Clearly you've been giving off beta vibes to her family. If you give off those same vibes on a "coffee date" to a chick who's used to riding alpha c*ck, she'll be repulsed and will want nothing to do with you anyway.
Oh got it. I dress nice have a stable career and a new car. Makes sense that her mom would want to set me up. From what my friend told me she gets attached to anyone who cares about her since her dad treats her like crap as well. Anyways I can see how this would bring emotional issues up but shes about an hb8-9 so I might as well ask her out straight up after being introduced. Fvck it-Ive got nothing to lose anyways considering Ive got some other plates lined up and Ill only be in the area for a few more weeks.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Nothing gets a girl wetter than when her mother tries to set her up with a family friend.
Okay, obviously that was sarcasm. But my point is, I'd avoid wasting my time with this. This girl has been getting f**ked by some badboy drug addict, and now all of a sudden she's gonna fall in love with a guy her mom is setting her up with?
Your friend would be doing you a bigger favor by skipping the coffee date, and being your wingman at a local bar for a night.
Okay, obviously that was sarcasm. But my point is, I'd avoid wasting my time with this. This girl has been getting f**ked by some badboy drug addict, and now all of a sudden she's gonna fall in love with a guy her mom is setting her up with?
Your friend would be doing you a bigger favor by skipping the coffee date, and being your wingman at a local bar for a night.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
armybyrd said:
They are telling you to go to her workplace and ask her out for coffee when she's already having non stop sex with a drug dealer? Are you sure they are not doing drugs themselves?
Value yourself bro, don't get involved at all. Your buddy and his fiancee just want to have some ammo against the fiancee's sister to protect themselves down the road. "See sis, I TRIED to set up with a nice a guy but you refused. Don't ever say I didn't try to help you get out of your abusive relationship."
As always in life, people just want to protect themselves. They don't care about you.
Also agree with iceberg.
Alright so against everyones suggestion I just got back. I was gonna scrap the whole thing but my friends girl and her sis were already at the coffee shop waiting for us so I said fvck it what have I got to lose-if anything Ill use it as an experience and get dinner out of it. So we get to the coffee shop and they were already about finished and she was really shy looked miserable(having a fight with her bf or some bs). My friend and his girl planned to go to bdubs for dinner and she didnt want to go since shes broke and didnt want her sis to pay for her. Sis convinced her to go anyways. After a few mins of her being way too shy I just did my own thing and had a few drinks while chatting of my friend and his girl. Fast forward to the end my friends girl left to take her sis back to her car parked elsewhere. She comes back and said she told her sis I thought she was cute and her reaction was a complete 360 from how she acted-the girl said I was cute also blah blah and that she wants to go out again. Her sis said she thinks tonight was mainly her sis being shy and realizing that she does have other options besides her loser bf. Anyways this girl is about an hb7-8 so I think I might as well take her out next time just us two and Im sure me being confident and us having already met that it'll be a lot smoother. Either way Ive got a date in a few days with another chick in town so no worries.