Best way to get confidence back after a letdown?

[The LadyKiller]

I feel I am a confident guy overall. I am in good shape, have no problem approaching and can make fun of myself. When I get turned down by a HB or plans don't work out, I am able to bounce back quickly. I guess you could say my resolve is a plus. However, I am having some trouble getting past a recent development.

A couple months back, I met a HB8 who was a friend of a friend. She acted interested the entire night and I was the only guy she was talking to, but nothing materialized. She tried giving me a fake number (then gave me her real one when I called it on the spot), and used the excuse that she doesn't give her number out to many guys. Not a big deal - I shook it off immediately and didn't think twice about it.

Fast-forward to last week, when I'm out with my crew. One of the guys we were with - a friend of ours but isn't really in our closest circle - is talking about a HB he hooked up with a few nights earlier. Sure enough, it was HB8. To put it bluntly, this guy was outkicking his coverage by a wide margin, good for him. But for some reason, this continues to bother me. Part of it is because my buddies joke that, "If he can outkick his coverage, then we have no excuse." The other part is from what else this guy said: "I've seen her a few times, but she'll get with anyone who approaches her, so I'm cooling off."

I really want to believe this is a troll job, but it's not. Only my closest group of buddies know that I ever approached her, and she would have no idea that I know this guy she's been with. He showed me her texts too, so it's a real thing. On top of this, I learned that a HB I crushed on months ago (but not anymore) had been hooking up with one of my former co-workers who is a whack-job and was fired due to sexual harassment.

Is it simply luck of the draw and a numbers game? What sticks with me is that both of these guys got girls I couldn't, and it doesn't add up. Sure that's some ego on my part, but I also feel I'm a good catch. What's the best way to get confidence back after a letdown that shakes you up?

 

[Bingo-Player]

your post is written poorly so it is difficult to understand

what does ....."outkick his coverage mean" .....punching above his weight im assuming ?

from what i can gather your basically butthurt some slore has blown you off and then gone off and fvcked some other bare dude

anyway look you need to realise that girls have a lot of different sides to there personalities a lot more than us guys do

one day she could be telling herself she deserves more and wants to be treated right so wont be putting it about for nothing anymore

the next day she wakes up horny asf and decides she needs to ride some d1ck for some attention

that is what you are dealing with , when you are dealing with women

very little will make sense at first

all you can do is stay on your path and never let anoyone move you off it , girls will come and go but as long as you dont lose your moral integrity in the process then who cares what they wanna do

 

[RangerMIke]

Okay...

She gave you a fake number, therefore she ALWAYS had low interest in you. The fact that you checked the number and called her out on it, made you look weak... it made you look like a guy that gets fake numbers from women all the time so you ALWAYS call them out on it. Next time just take the number, wait a few days and call her, if it's fake toss it out and say to yourself, "Stupid girl, you don't know what you missed.", then thank her for not wasting your time and money then FORGET ABOUT her.

She was not attracted to you... you didn't make her tingle... sorry, that happens, no matter how good you are you will ALWAYS run into women that are not interested in you, no one's game is so good that you can build on a lack of initial attraction. You never really had a chance with this woman. Never pay any attention to what a woman says, judge her by what she does.... she gave you a fake number... the BS she feed you about her not giving out her number much.... really.... you believed that?

You need to work on how you are showing up with women, pay attention to what your friends are doing. clearly they are getting results you want. Before you do that an honest assessment of yourself and for God's sake put you ego in a box. Your interest in a woman is not relevant to you success with women. She doesn't give a flying fvck how you feel about her; she only cares about how you make HER feel. Your interest in her is not relevant to your success.

Having said that, you became emotionally invested in a women before she was in love with you. Don't do that... never lock in on any one women until she proves to you that she is willing to invest in you AND proves though her ACTIONS that she loves you. If she's not putting in any effort with you, take the hint and move the fvck on. You MUST date as many women as you can, it's not a numbers game, it is you acting like a man and pursuing multiple options because that is what MEN do and what is attractive to women, this also keeps you for locking on to one option, this put you in a weak frame of mind.

 

[RangerMIke]

what does ....."outkick his coverage mean" .....punching above his weight im assuming ?

If you are not American or Canadian, or never follow North American Football, this will mean nothing to you, but you got the basic gist. But this analogy was NOT particularly apt, so I get that this made little sense.

Overkicking your coverage is a metaphor for doing too well for your own good, which really wasn't the case here. He really wasn't doing too well for his own good, he was doing little correctly.

When you punt the ball (Kick) there is a balance between making sure you kick the ball far, and with LOTS of hang time in a place where the coverage team can prevent a run-back. If you kick the ball long, with no hang time then the return team can better set a wall for the run back. A perfect punt is long where the coverage team has converged on the punt returner before he gets the ball. A BAD punt is where you out kick the coverage and give the returner time to manuver and set lanes.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Allow me to clarify this matter a little better. I have no crush on this HB, nor have I ever had a crush on this HB. I met her one night, tried to game, didn't work. That's all.

What shook my confidence wasn't the HB herself. It's that a girl who is evidently "easy" and willing to hook up with almost anybody immediately shuts it down when I try talking to her. The second girl I mentioned was merely another example. As I said in the OP, I think I'm a good catch, but if I continue to struggle with girls who give it up for anyone (for ONS purposes), it's not a good look.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't kid yourself, the fact hat this women rejected you GOT TO YOU, you were emotionally invested, I did not say you were in love with her. If you are going to be successful with women you can not give flying rats @ss **** about this sh!t. Put your ego in a box and do not let your emotions get the better of you... do this and you confidence will be fine.

It's really not that hard, just let go of your ego.

 

[Poon King]

The best way to KEEP confidence is to put less stock in what other people think of you. As long as YOU approve of yourself, everything is fine.

Remember that all women care about is what you can do for them. Men need to always keep this in mind. Women care less about who a man is and more about what he can do/provide for her. Which is why rich and/or powerful men can ALWAYS get attractive women.. regardless of their looks, character, personality, attitude, level of "game", social skills, etc.

Women at their cores don't care about this sh!t. They care about your ability to give them what they want.. whatever that is at the time. And this all makes sense because women are hypergamous.