Best friends forever.

[King Turi]

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it

Check that out, it's 100% true and has probably happened to everyone here.

Not sure if it's been posted here or not, but I didn't see anything about it..

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me ***** about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other ******* guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Best friends. Friends forever.

That's the article.

 

[prairiedog24]

Awesome.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it

Check that out, it's 100% true and has probably happened to everyone here.

Not sure if it's been posted here or not, but I didn't see anything about it..



That's the article.

+1 for bringing my attention to this.

I can't think of a better representation of how the friend-zone plays out.

Funny sh1t.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

LOL! Since joining this site and doing some people watching, I can see how this plays out in real life. I never would have believed it otherwise, though.

When I was interested in that guy awhile back he was kind of the one who said this to me. Go figure. Great article!

 

[mothballs]

Story of my teenage years... But in the end I put my foot down and told her it would ruin the relationship if we didn't try being more... I got some action for a few months and then we went our seperate ways. After we broke up we remained friends, until she met her now husband. That's when all communication stopped. I wouldn't have it any other way... in the end I would have wasted a total of 9 years if I had done nothing, and she would have probably just up and dissapeared as soon as that guy came along.

 

[scrouds]

God that hurts just reading it. Thanks King!

 

[Daydream Engineer]

The onion is a comedy-parody site..... but i love it! This should thread is getting bookmarked! Reading this is an instant one-it-is killer...

 

[Samedi]

I needed that to bring me to my senses. Phew, a quick refresher can pull you back from the brink. Kinda like smelling salts lol. Good find King!

 

[King Turi]

Yeah well, it pretty much wraps up the situation which led me to this site haha..

 

[prairiedog24]

Yeah well, it pretty much wraps up the situation which led me to this site haha..

Probably true for all of us bro. :trouble:

 

[Jay kay]

That article reminds me remember how much of a dweed i was as a teenager. The girl i had a huge crush on, i use to carry her school bag home for her everyday while she walked beside her friends. I use to think, "she really appreciates me for being so nice to her, "She must really like me now". Boy..was i ever wrong, her friends must have taught i was a complete idiot but thankfully those days are gone and i've learned to escape the friend zone and now get girls to carry my bags....

Great article