"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Best Friending a girl you used to like?

Insouciant

Don Juan
Joined
May 10, 2012
Messages
41
Reaction score
3
I'm not talking about existing as a beta orbiter... but as a genuine, platonic friend to a girl that you used to like but don't want to smoosh (or at least put the effort in) anymore.

Fantastic benefits. Hot wing-women. Women's perspective on things. etc.

Thoughts?

How soon after you break contact can you propose this arrangement (again, keep in mind that you are completely over this chick).

I know I will hear some viewpoints that I haven't even considered from this group, which is why I love posting on these forums. Looking forward to your insights!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

origin138

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Messages
335
Reaction score
43
Location
Colorado
A lot of guys on the board will tell you not to keep female friends in general.

I've personally found they make excellent wings if they know what they're doing.

Where you can get screwed is if you start caring about this woman in a romantic way or vice versa.

I can count on 1 hand how many female friends I have that I know for certain no mutual or one-way attraction exists.

Friend zoning women has its benefits but if an orbiting situation starts to occur, you need to cut it out like cancer.

In my experience, it's not something that can be forced, it just has to happen. The female friends I do have all have volunteered as wings at some point in the last several years, and it usually works out quite well if you play it correctly.
 

Insouciant

Don Juan
Joined
May 10, 2012
Messages
41
Reaction score
3
I kind of agree with origin on this one...

If the man has no expectations, what could it hurt? When there are no expectations, she can't hurt you/ be a bad friend.

I'm pretty sure, though, that now the female will subconsciously throw out little feelers to attract you back as a Beta Orbiter. The trick is to keep it strictly mutual, because you know those come-ons are empty.
 

bmp2cpm

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2009
Messages
427
Reaction score
512
Location
PA
I hate to sound cynical, but I think you should only have a female friend as long as she serves a purpose and is useful to you in some way. As soon as she no longer becomes useful, put zero effort into the friendship and move away from her quick.
In general, having several female friends is kind of good to make a woman you're interested in perceive you as higher value. And then there is the whole mystery to the woman you are interested as to why you have so many female friends. Why don't you want to be more with them? Or are they really more than female friends? It gets the woman you're interested in thinking about you. Female jealousy is a powerful emotion and female friends can really help bring it out.

Just remember, a female friend has to bring something good to the table. She needs to be helping you or supporting you in someway. Once that stops, you end the friendship.Basically use her and feel no guilt about it whatsoever. After all, how often have women done that to you, especially before you found this forum?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Top