best approach method?

[ed__]

hey guys,

it's my first time here. anyway, i've got a question as to the best way i should ask this girl out.

i met her about 2 weeks ago, and i see her during a uni lecture, and then we go get lunch afterwards.

1) should i pass a note to her during the lecture, with something cute & funny such as 'do you want to go see a movie next week? _yes _no _you smell etc..

OR

2) during lunch, just do it the good old fashion way: 'hey, let's go see a movie next week'.

the first way seems like a easier way, but could be more awkward, esp talking about it after the lecture at lunch..

thanks for your suggestions guys

 

[quest]

you'll get eaten alive here for ur "cute and funny approach" ur gonna hear alot of... just do it..

and i'll tell ya, it is true..

it MIGHT not work on this one particular girl.. but if u "just do it" on every girl ur interested in.. some will surely say yes.

 

[ed__]

thanks for your help dementia,

yeah, probably just asking straight out is better. I already have her number, but I got it because we were going through some work for a test. I decided against calling her because it would probably be better to ask in person.

 

[cannibustacap]

I don't know about that man... my take is this (from what I got out of the DJB)

Never ask a girl for anything at first. Tell her you are going/want to go do something and invite her (offer her to come, don't ask). Make it seem like she can take it or leave it.

Don't go on an exclusive date out downtown in a 5 star restaurant and don't have the date be meeting up with her in a back ally with your thug friends either (actually.. depending on the girl that may be a good thing hehe).

Go someplace natural, like say you are going to a coffee shop later to meet some friends and ask her to come if she wants. Have a nice, warm feel when you offer the invite (do not act needy, but don't act like a puppy). If she says no, then forget it. It wouldn't have worked.

There are so many variations. It depends on the situation. I suppose you should get to know her a bit and not ask on a cold approach unless you get great signals. Get her number/email/IM first. Usually I prefer the number because you can hear the subtleties in her voice if she would flake. Sometimes just asking straight out "On a scale from 1 to 10 ........ is it likely you won't flake?" (got this from David DeAngelo) Answer of 8 or below means you forget it. Show her your power. Always stay in control of the situation.

The answer to all these questions can be found in the DJB. Best way is to ask yourself and make the answer be most natural for you.

EDIT: Some suggest to have an action first date and not a communication first date. Get her out of her world and into yours. Maybe take her bowling or ice-skating or anything unique and active. Do the KINO etc etc. I am regurgitating the DJB.. I say that a lot, but everything is in there, really. Its a goldmine.

 

[JJMcLure]

Ask her in person and don't take her to the movies. Too cliched and there is no opportunity to talk and get to know each other.

You may want to use a bridge question such as "do you ever do X", "have you been to X", "are you any good at X". Her answer isn't really that important but it provides a transition in the conversation to your desired activity. She might even have something interesting to say about it. Then it's pretty natural to say "oh great, let's do X on Y-day" etc. Rather than just saying "lets do X on Y-day" out of the blue.

If you're nervous that might help ease the pressure on you as it bridges the gap between talking about (e.g.) the last lecture and asking for a date, by guiding the conversation.

Take her on an action date. Do a search for "date ideas" - some are shoot pool, mini golf, video arcade etc.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

She's in your class?**** that.

Listen,proffesional-setting women are huge bicthes.Chances are she will play headgames with you.

You might be tempted to pounce on her cuz you see other guys do the same,but what the **** do you care?You want the best results,right?

Then don't be her freind .Go about your business talk to her when you have time or have to.**** her number and her dates that won't get you no were just hang out after school or on a project and if you strike then the hell with her.School/work is not hwere you get yours at.