I rarely come to this site anymore, although occasionally I check out AskMen and DocLove's column. Mostly because i find a kindship with the article topics......along the lines of a "been there" familiarity which connects me with other people's successes and failures.
But generally I despise most of the guys "agendas" on here to have empty sexual conquests for ego-driven purposes. My goal in learning about how the opposite sex thinks has always been to foster meaningful relationships and then to marry my ideal woman which I have accomplished. I have zero interest in sexually promiscusous females because I would never respect them, and respect is the cornerstone of love.
But for the non-knuckleheads here, I'm going to write a brief article based on lots of experience that might help you develop a final ingredient in finding your dream woman:
specifically, to catch a Ten (and im talking about an attractive woman who has a sterling character) you have to be utterly unique and unforgettable in the mind of the woman. This is the true "prizing" quality that most small-minded people never accomplish because it cannot be accomplished through some "technique". It has to come from within you.
THERE ARE THREE CORNERSTONES OF BEING UNFORGETTABLE:
1. Masculine Transparency -the emotional bond
2. Controlled Drama and Risk -the emotional spike
3. Being a Fascinating Conversationalist-the intellectual bond
EXPLANATION
1. Masculine Transparency: Much has been written about never sharing your feelings with women, and like all such advice, it is PARTIALLY wrong. While it is true that blithering whimps repel women, there is an aspect of male open ness that women find utterly irresistable and that is a man who is obviously strong, intelligent, and completely confident yet who is AWARE of a few of his own shortcomings, questions about life, and mini-failures.
Most guys err on the side of being a macho bore, or being a blabbermouthed metrosexual but both are a complete turn off to most women. It is extremely rare to find a man who is CONFIDENT ENOUGH to laugh at some of his own shortcomings and failures in a transparent way which can be fused with the genre of "****y and funny".
Here is an example: my wife and I enjoy talking about our days growing up in (separate) catholic high schools and some of the utter humiliations which are a part of life. But you know what?
Humiliations in early life can be incredibly funny in retrospect and the conversations that are shared when you have common experiences from the past in various areas BOND you with a woman in a way which cannot be fully explained.
Most men dont really understand that women love STRONG MEN, but also men that are SELF AWARE. The reality is that nobody survives adolescence unscathed, or for that matter, high school, band camp, football practice, the first date, the first kiss, or the first whatever. These experiences in life can be the source of unendingly funny stories you can share if you are creative enough.
But you can also share how you survived these events and how you became STRONGER and SMARTER about life .
Women cannot resist a man who is comfortable in his own skin. This means that he can occasionally make fun of himself, tell a funny story about it, and that it does not affect his self esteem or confidence in any way. This is the balance most women crave: a strong masculine man who can create humor out of life's craziest events.
2. Controlled Drama and Risk :
A woman hates to be bored for the simple reason that life is mostly boring anyway. We get up, go to work, eat, come home. When she's with you she should NOT BE BORED for long.
How do you achieve this?
Once again, its all about balance, but your relationship "needs" to have a regular infusion of drama, risk, and adventure which means that you have to BE adventurous and dramatic in your daily life. But not TOO MUCH or it will become emotionally draining.
Its not enough to be simply muscular or sports minded since everyone knows that jocks are pretty boring if thats all they are. But a woman loves to be around a UNIQUE sports minded guy who introduces her to an element of risk and adventure that both excites her and that she conveys to her friends.
In this way, you are unforgettable and unique: "My boyfriend is going skin diving at the quarry this weekend" is an example of something thatseems unique, masculine, and creates as a "signature" of your masculine identity---and believe me, this is part of the alpha male identity that you want. As far as relationship drama, its a strange phenomenon.
I dont claim to be an expert on the matter, but ive noticed that a man-woman relationship NEEDS some occasional drama and conflict. IT varies with each relationship, but women are naturally dramatic by nature and their nature craves an occasional, and even fabricated, CONFLICT.
All guys should know this, and know how to handle it because she's going to TEST you eventually and you need to be DECISIVE without being overly CONTROLLING.
Usually these sorts of battles surround some drama she has concocted out of boredom, but her female instincts want to see how you HANDLE it. Rule number one is that you NEVER get hysterical or emotional like she does.
Personally, if the relationship has gone for awhile without some conflict I actually instigate some by doing something UNPREDICTABLE---which she may secretly admire but vocally object to.
This usually has to do with an underlying reality that woman SECRETLY want a man they cant control so you can imagine that something such as not calling her when you were supposed to because you got "caught up" in some masculine event (maybe you broke up a fight on a street corner for example) and forgot to call her is a subtle reminder that you have a life of your own and that she has to continually "win you" back as the center of her attention. This is an emotional bonder that needs to be sometimes used to create a "SLIGHT" rollercoaster ride which keeps your relationship from being boring.
3. Being a Fascinating Conversationalist: The intellectual bond:
Women almost universally crave being with a man that they consider SMARTER than they are no matter WHAT you hear on Oprah or Dr. Phil.
In fact, intelligence is frequently listed by women as the NUMBER ONE attribute of the alpha male that women crave.
Why so?
Because if she thinks she smarter than you then she thinks she can MANIPULATE you and no woman really wants that.
So it is essential for the "bond" between a man and woman that the man be a talented THINKER.
This can be in different areas, but God created men to be incredibly talented in various ways. The ability to tear down an engine and put it back together takes incredible mechanical intelligence for example and woman can be in amazement of it.
The reality of women who make more money than their mates is a tricky one, and ive been in that situation, but ive always demonatrated the confidence that i think im smarter than the woman im with. This is not chauvanism when you realize that women WANT this. Its part of the "feeling safe" dynamic.
The bottom line is that a woman has to think youre interesting intellectually. You can manifest this in all kinds of ways:
bringing up controversial subjects, being involved politically, writing, starting a business, taking a college class, reading challenging classic books, calling radio talk shows, developing a love of classic music, studying philosophy.
You idea is that you keep a balance, but sometimes you assert yourself intellectually and basically over rule a womans emotional nature with a proclamation:
"were not going to do that because it makes more sense to"......
No doubt this can be tricky but none of you guys should be dating feministas anyway. The whole movement is illogical and getting tied up with a feminist is inviting all kinds of contradictory behaviors and attitudes.
A womans nature is to make all kinds of emotional decisions, but most of them secretly want a man who can put them in their place once in a while.
Some of the emotional decisions that women make: emotional shopping, over eating, going into debt with credit cards, texting while driving, etc.
If you've got the stones, you can parlay these things to your advantage by showing your own wisdom and intelligence and teasing her about some of these things, but with an edge:
this fits into the ****y and funny routes most of you do by second nature by now:
"I might THINK about marrying you someday, but i gotta train you first"........
This puts you in the drivers seat, but since theres a ****y funny edge to it you can get away with it.
--in conclusion.......the well-rounded guy who a woman is desperately in love with has achieved a 95 percent interest level from her by creating a completely unique persona that she finds irresistable.
If youre not unique in her eyes, then youre replaceable.
Being unique makes you un replaceable which is exactly where you want to be.
If you find yourself getting dumped a lot, then its obvious you havnt mastered the art of maintaining interest level through being unique.
But generally I despise most of the guys "agendas" on here to have empty sexual conquests for ego-driven purposes. My goal in learning about how the opposite sex thinks has always been to foster meaningful relationships and then to marry my ideal woman which I have accomplished. I have zero interest in sexually promiscusous females because I would never respect them, and respect is the cornerstone of love.
But for the non-knuckleheads here, I'm going to write a brief article based on lots of experience that might help you develop a final ingredient in finding your dream woman:
specifically, to catch a Ten (and im talking about an attractive woman who has a sterling character) you have to be utterly unique and unforgettable in the mind of the woman. This is the true "prizing" quality that most small-minded people never accomplish because it cannot be accomplished through some "technique". It has to come from within you.
THERE ARE THREE CORNERSTONES OF BEING UNFORGETTABLE:
1. Masculine Transparency -the emotional bond
2. Controlled Drama and Risk -the emotional spike
3. Being a Fascinating Conversationalist-the intellectual bond
EXPLANATION
1. Masculine Transparency: Much has been written about never sharing your feelings with women, and like all such advice, it is PARTIALLY wrong. While it is true that blithering whimps repel women, there is an aspect of male open ness that women find utterly irresistable and that is a man who is obviously strong, intelligent, and completely confident yet who is AWARE of a few of his own shortcomings, questions about life, and mini-failures.
Most guys err on the side of being a macho bore, or being a blabbermouthed metrosexual but both are a complete turn off to most women. It is extremely rare to find a man who is CONFIDENT ENOUGH to laugh at some of his own shortcomings and failures in a transparent way which can be fused with the genre of "****y and funny".
Here is an example: my wife and I enjoy talking about our days growing up in (separate) catholic high schools and some of the utter humiliations which are a part of life. But you know what?
Humiliations in early life can be incredibly funny in retrospect and the conversations that are shared when you have common experiences from the past in various areas BOND you with a woman in a way which cannot be fully explained.
Most men dont really understand that women love STRONG MEN, but also men that are SELF AWARE. The reality is that nobody survives adolescence unscathed, or for that matter, high school, band camp, football practice, the first date, the first kiss, or the first whatever. These experiences in life can be the source of unendingly funny stories you can share if you are creative enough.
But you can also share how you survived these events and how you became STRONGER and SMARTER about life .
Women cannot resist a man who is comfortable in his own skin. This means that he can occasionally make fun of himself, tell a funny story about it, and that it does not affect his self esteem or confidence in any way. This is the balance most women crave: a strong masculine man who can create humor out of life's craziest events.
2. Controlled Drama and Risk :
A woman hates to be bored for the simple reason that life is mostly boring anyway. We get up, go to work, eat, come home. When she's with you she should NOT BE BORED for long.
How do you achieve this?
Once again, its all about balance, but your relationship "needs" to have a regular infusion of drama, risk, and adventure which means that you have to BE adventurous and dramatic in your daily life. But not TOO MUCH or it will become emotionally draining.
Its not enough to be simply muscular or sports minded since everyone knows that jocks are pretty boring if thats all they are. But a woman loves to be around a UNIQUE sports minded guy who introduces her to an element of risk and adventure that both excites her and that she conveys to her friends.
In this way, you are unforgettable and unique: "My boyfriend is going skin diving at the quarry this weekend" is an example of something thatseems unique, masculine, and creates as a "signature" of your masculine identity---and believe me, this is part of the alpha male identity that you want. As far as relationship drama, its a strange phenomenon.
I dont claim to be an expert on the matter, but ive noticed that a man-woman relationship NEEDS some occasional drama and conflict. IT varies with each relationship, but women are naturally dramatic by nature and their nature craves an occasional, and even fabricated, CONFLICT.
All guys should know this, and know how to handle it because she's going to TEST you eventually and you need to be DECISIVE without being overly CONTROLLING.
Usually these sorts of battles surround some drama she has concocted out of boredom, but her female instincts want to see how you HANDLE it. Rule number one is that you NEVER get hysterical or emotional like she does.
Personally, if the relationship has gone for awhile without some conflict I actually instigate some by doing something UNPREDICTABLE---which she may secretly admire but vocally object to.
This usually has to do with an underlying reality that woman SECRETLY want a man they cant control so you can imagine that something such as not calling her when you were supposed to because you got "caught up" in some masculine event (maybe you broke up a fight on a street corner for example) and forgot to call her is a subtle reminder that you have a life of your own and that she has to continually "win you" back as the center of her attention. This is an emotional bonder that needs to be sometimes used to create a "SLIGHT" rollercoaster ride which keeps your relationship from being boring.
3. Being a Fascinating Conversationalist: The intellectual bond:
Women almost universally crave being with a man that they consider SMARTER than they are no matter WHAT you hear on Oprah or Dr. Phil.
In fact, intelligence is frequently listed by women as the NUMBER ONE attribute of the alpha male that women crave.
Why so?
Because if she thinks she smarter than you then she thinks she can MANIPULATE you and no woman really wants that.
So it is essential for the "bond" between a man and woman that the man be a talented THINKER.
This can be in different areas, but God created men to be incredibly talented in various ways. The ability to tear down an engine and put it back together takes incredible mechanical intelligence for example and woman can be in amazement of it.
The reality of women who make more money than their mates is a tricky one, and ive been in that situation, but ive always demonatrated the confidence that i think im smarter than the woman im with. This is not chauvanism when you realize that women WANT this. Its part of the "feeling safe" dynamic.
The bottom line is that a woman has to think youre interesting intellectually. You can manifest this in all kinds of ways:
bringing up controversial subjects, being involved politically, writing, starting a business, taking a college class, reading challenging classic books, calling radio talk shows, developing a love of classic music, studying philosophy.
You idea is that you keep a balance, but sometimes you assert yourself intellectually and basically over rule a womans emotional nature with a proclamation:
"were not going to do that because it makes more sense to"......
No doubt this can be tricky but none of you guys should be dating feministas anyway. The whole movement is illogical and getting tied up with a feminist is inviting all kinds of contradictory behaviors and attitudes.
A womans nature is to make all kinds of emotional decisions, but most of them secretly want a man who can put them in their place once in a while.
Some of the emotional decisions that women make: emotional shopping, over eating, going into debt with credit cards, texting while driving, etc.
If you've got the stones, you can parlay these things to your advantage by showing your own wisdom and intelligence and teasing her about some of these things, but with an edge:
this fits into the ****y and funny routes most of you do by second nature by now:
"I might THINK about marrying you someday, but i gotta train you first"........
This puts you in the drivers seat, but since theres a ****y funny edge to it you can get away with it.
--in conclusion.......the well-rounded guy who a woman is desperately in love with has achieved a 95 percent interest level from her by creating a completely unique persona that she finds irresistable.
If youre not unique in her eyes, then youre replaceable.
Being unique makes you un replaceable which is exactly where you want to be.
If you find yourself getting dumped a lot, then its obvious you havnt mastered the art of maintaining interest level through being unique.
