Being too nice!?

[wudiez]

I have a problem! I'm too damn fricken nice! I hate it, I was brought up this way, from an asian family!

And i hate taking **** from girls! It ****s me, that they can do such irresponsible and senseless things.

I've tried everything, so that i dont present this nice persona! It just lets people walk over me!

I dont talk to them much, I dont smile much, i dont go outta my way to be nice. I dont do curtious things!

But its as if I exude something as being naturally nice. And they wont take me seriously! And whether they want something they'll just come and take it from me and walk all over me!

How do i get away from this, and become more dominant!

 

[JoeBlack]

Theres a differencebetween beng nice and benig a sucker

I agree its somewhat limiting to be nice in terms of attracting women as it gets portrayed as benig a wuss.

Be nice, but be confident and assertive.

I'm not sure even being nice and being walked on is even related

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Assert your manhood!!

 

[blue17]

Another misconception......when ppl take advantage you it doesn't mean you are nice....it just means that you are spineless. A friend of mine is like this (he's a fairly nice guy) but ppl take advantage of him....it's not because he's the nicest guy on the planet (not the meanest either) but rather beacuse he's a pushover.

Not sure why people are spineless....maybe an insecurity...or they are too shy/scared to defend themselves. Trust me...when ppl take advantage of you....they don't think (oh he's such a nice guy!) they think you are just easily used.

 

[Le Parisien]

I agree with all the posters above me.

Being nice is NOT being a pushover/sucker.

The true essence of being nice is "free will", you know you HAVE the power to be an a**hole and still get away with it, but you VOLUNTARILY made the decision to be courteous and "nice".
But you know the limits, you will stand up for yourself if people try to use you or disrespect you.

Just like the best martial artists are usually very courteous and they don't look for provocations. But they can kick anybody's ass if necessary. They are "NICE".

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by wudiez
I have a problem! I'm too damn fricken nice! I hate it, I was brought up this way, from an asian family!

I don't want to turn this into another racial post. But MAN, why do I hear this so often with you asian guys? Using your race as an excuse! I don't ever hear a white guy saying .. I'm an AFC because I'm white.
.
You need to get into your head that you can be an Alpha regardless of your upbringing. You just need to build a backbone and STAND UP for yourself. The first thing is to learn to SAY NO! You need to be willing to walk away if you're getting sh!t.

 

[PeeGee]

Here *a* reason that worked for me: you were raised to associate doing good things with feeling good. I was raised catholic, so being humble and charitable were good qualities to have. It went too far though. Luckily I wasn't really ever taken advantaged of, but the AFCness was really bad at its worse.

What you need to realise is that once you've recognised that you are being too nice, it's up to you to 'fix' yourself. So blaming being asian/Catholic/raised by your mother/whatever doesn't work any more. Just go out and have a good time, and if people try to get you to do things you don't want, say no! Simple as that. If people start to hate you for saying no, they are just selfish. Keep that mentality -- works for me.