"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Being sweet after pissing her off.

Chickfight

Senior Don Juan
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This is amazing. First off, let me admit I was bored and being immature as fvck and a total ****.

Anyway, I'm on this one really beautiful chicks formspring and so I start trolling and ****ing around a bit anonymously insulting the duckface expression on her prof pic. Anyway, after a while I decide to turn it into a little experiment and here are the results over a couple of hours:

why the duckface?

talkin bout my picture ?
hehe i like ducks and the faces they make.


srsly tho, no joke, why the duckface? You look retarded.

you gotta better beaks than a duck wooooo


http://antiduckface.com/ please take down the duckface picture, stop making that stupid ass duckface in pictures... and join our cause!

i'm puckeriin my lips ? like whats your problem ***** ? bye.


cool story bro, but furreal tho, lettuce be serious, why the duckface?

I FELT LIKE IT ? **** YOU.

anyway, im submitting your photo to that website. I'll let you know if you get accepted!

HONESTLY WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM ?

I thought it was obvious what my problem is. the DUCKFACE.

peace.


calm down please, i dont like the tone of you caps :( just change the picture and i wont submit it. okthxbai

just stop ?


im not being mean, its just that youd be so pretty without the duckface

HAHA ok so all this was a compliment ?


pretty much, i think you're gorgeous tbh. I just dont like the face.

..thanks.
& i'm sorry you don't? but i don't live my life according to what you want.


Yeah, I might even consider taking you out if you promise not to do the duckface :)

HA i would sooooo love to go for someone who hated on me?

That's just my way of showing love hun ;) but it's cool if you don't wanna.

oooooh dont tempt me.....?
who is this..


I dunno if I should say right now. Promise you won't be mad? :]

aha..........promise.


Okay okay I'm not sure I believe you. Say you'll go on at least one date with me if I tell you who I am. I'm not always an ******* you know.. just sometimes ;)

lol i'm not going on a ..date with you ?!
i need someone whos neeeever an ******* ahaha.
inbox me

I can't promise I'll never be an *******, but if we were together, I'd never be an ******* to you... on purpose. Then again, I wouldn't really know if I'd want to be with you yet, which is why I want to hang out ;) I'll inbox you.

ok aha ? this is weird.
a few people inboxed me, who are you
INBOX ME... hahaha. Remember this was all anonymous and on her page for all to see, she didn't even know what the person looked like, but her interest was piqued. I guess there is such a thing as text game and yes, I do know I need to get a life :D
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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PDubb75

Master Don Juan
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I'm not as much surprised by her interest toward the end, as I am that she didn't ignore you pretty early on in the duckface convo.

Is it weird that I have absolutely no idea what Formspring is?
 

Chickfight

Senior Don Juan
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it's a website that mostly teenage girls use where people can either make an account and ask eachother questions or just drop questions anonymously. When you answer a question it gets published on your homepage. I don't know why they would reply to insulting questions, since they can just delete the question without answering it, but they do 90% of the time. If you search around the site for a bit, you find all kinds of crazy, weird, and perverted questions girls have answered. "are you still a virgin?" is a popular one.
 
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