"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Being someone you're not

Littledude

Don Juan
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Ever since I was in middle school, I started to pay a lot of attention to people who were very outgoing, funny, and were basically the life of the party. They always knew how to have fun and I always wanted to become just like that.

I started to surround myself with more people of this category but instead of trying to improve myself, I tried to become them and sort of copy them. Well once I stepped into highschool I had constant problems with not being content with myself because I kinda wasn't myself. I was too hung up over being someone other than myself. So now I'm a junior in highschool and I realize that I should've been trying to improve myself rather than copy off of someone.

Since I always was worrying about being someone else, I was also worrying about how to be funny, outgoing, and all that. I tend to overthink things a lot which doesn't help at all and it seems now that I don't have much fun when I'm with friends. Sometimes I'll see someone else in school and envy the fact that they can have the most fun possible and crack jokes everywhere and it makes me want to be like that.

As of now, I am a WHOLE lot more outgoing but I'm just not as funny as I used to be. I do have some days where I can say tons of witty remarks and tease girls all day long, but sometimes I just draw blanks. Many times, I'll find myself being quiet for no reason, and when I realize I'm not having fun, I try to do something to enjoy myself and be funny and it just doesn't work out. I generally don't have much fun anymore and I want to improve myself and find a mindset that helps me to just enjoy myself and have the most fun. I also tend to care too much about what other people think, and that can be another reason why I don't have as much fun.

What can I do to be funny, bust out witty remarks, and completely enjoy myself when I'm with people or when I'm just by myself? I want to be more lively and full of character.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DJ Mission

Don Juan
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Have a beer/Shot of whiskey before school!!
 
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Originally posted by DJ Mission
Have a beer/Shot of whiskey before school!!
:eek: he has to have at least 5 shots to even feel it, i mean cmon who do u take him for. 12 shots for good results.
 
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Originally posted by SmartOne
you could also stop worrying so much about how you always have to be the "life of the party" so to speak, and maybe try and be more laid back and see if that might work. also, never ever care about what other people think, that is a known fact.
ya that works for sure, people who try to be the life of the party are either:
a:throwing away money
b:acting dumb
c: drunk
d: both b nd c

cause thats what the term life of the party is, meaning everyones lookin out for where you are,
if u just chill with everyone ur not gonna be life of the party instead u gonna be on gerat terms with everyone
 

Littledude

Don Juan
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Originally posted by SmartOne
this seems like a tough one, a long term affect that just now is starting to bother you. if it is THAT serious theres always a psychiatrist, but then again, u dont seem too upset. if your looking to just be yourself then just be yourself, whether its being outgoing or not. maybe try and blend into a new group of kids and see what its like. as far as being funny, that just comes natural, if your not then your just not. i suppose you could also stop worrying so much about how you always have to be the "life of the party" so to speak, and maybe try and be more laid back and see if that might work. also, never ever care about what other people think, that is a known fact. i went through a lot of my life being bothered by others sometimes and then literally just one day i took on a new attitude not caring at all what others say or do. if you follow what others say your whole life and try and be someone your not it will affect you in the long run, thats of course if it hasnt already...
Hah I think I may have made it seem worse than it is. Mainly it's like I seem tired and maybe boring at times. I feel like I don't know what to talk about and work off of it to joke around with. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. However, I have read another thread somewhere about someone having trouble with having fun but I just want to get more insight from other people.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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