"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Being shy/anxious/scared upon first meeting a girl

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I used to think this was a "problem" of mine, but the purpose of this post is to explain why this might be normal behavior.

Here are 2 situations that have happened to me in the past several months.

1. I started talking to a girl on Seeking Arrangement. I agreed to meet her for sex. We met first with her and her friend out in the parking lot of her apartment complex. She said "you seem really nervous" and "are you scared?" or something like that. I tried to play it off like I wasn't and honestly I don't think I was overly scared or nervous. Keep in mind that I've been to prison and wasn't scared of that, let alone a million other things. Okay so we start talking and she says she has to wait for someone to leave her apartment so we can get started. I am sitting with her and her friend in my truck. Then, she says that there are 3 guys in the car that dropped her off and they're going to KILL ME if I don't give her money. I tell her to **** off and get out of my car, and then I drive away. Luckily, nobody got hurt. So, you see... my initial nervousness at meeting a new person/complete stranger was perfectly normal. This girl was going to try to rob me/get me killed... or at least pretend to.

2. I was at Dunkin' Donuts a few days ago at night. The cashier was a girl probably about 20 years old. After she took my order, she looked right in my eyes with a big smile and said something like "is that all i can get for you?" She said it in a really friendly voice and she was smiling. I instinctively broke eye contact and looked away. I remember thinking to myself... "why did I just look away?" Am I really scared to "maintain frame" with a 20 year old girl? But then I hung out there on my computer for 2-3 hours and I was listening to her and her coworkers talking about how they just pretend to be nice in hopes of getting tips. So when she was looking all "friendly" at me, she was in fact LYING to me. So, again, it was actually a normal response to break eye contact and look away in sort of self-defense.

I'm not sure my point of this post, and there's not much of a question. I guess this just goes along with the same red pill thinking that I've been doing.

I should be just as paranoid of females as I am of males. There is not a single person on the Earth who has MY best interest at heart ahead of their own. Granted, not everyone is a killer, liar, or thief... but there are enough of them in the world that I should always be on my guard.

So now this whole thing becomes.... I am trying to "impress" a bunch of killers and thieves? Seems like a sh !t deal to me.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
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In the first scenario, nervous or not, you obviously did the right thing.

Regarding the second scenario, I've always thought that the whole "Don't break eye contact until she does" is overkill and unnecessary. I get that looking down is bad. It can be viewed as submissive body language and/or that you are looking at her boobs lol. But normal people DO break eye contact briefly during conversation and often look to the side for a second or two before returning to eye contact. There's nothing wrong with that.

Also regarding the second scenario, I always keep a healthy skepticism around friendly customer service people and never assume they are actually flirting. Honestly, I just consider the conversation good practice and leave it at that.
 
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