Being seductive doesn't make you friends

[jhonny9546]

Being in a seductive mindset, or being a natural seducer, doesn’t really help when it comes to making new friends or expanding your social circle. I’ve got some personal stories about this, but I’ll wait to hear others’ thoughts first.
In my experience, the “seducer type” is usually disliked by most people. You know that feeling when someone like this is around you? You have that "you piss me off" feeling.


Then there’s this other kind of guy, he has like 500 friends and hangs out with people from all kinds of different circles. Women are always around him, but he rarely hooks up.
Why? Because he gives off the “I’m your friend” energy. That’s the kind of energy that builds friendships and leads to long-term success in life.
You know those guys that can make a night out and come back home with many new friends?
Or just met new people and make friends so easy.
Some people are just naturally great at this, they’ll go far, and they’ll be genuinely happy. They’re never alone, always surrounded by healthy friendships.
Usually, those kind of man, is not the seductive type. Also, He can easly fail into oneitis or just treath women like friends.

On the flip side, people who carry themselves with a seductive aura rarely make friends. Most people just don’t like them. But women? Oh man… women love that vibe.
Today’s society has reached a strange point where men are constantly being told how to be more seductive, how to get more women. And at the same time, on the other side, there are also others being advised on how to maintain LTR's and build healthy couples.
Funny enough, many of those so called “toxic” relationships you hear about? They're often those of the seductive man. (You'll hear the woman complain so much and cry and go back and forth, just yell and argue many times. but still sits there with him. This is easier to read when they've kids/marriage)

Meanwhile, healthy couples are usually built on a completely different dynamic, more like a friendship with benefits. They both work together to create something solid.
But they’re also aware that we’re animals, and our biological instincts can sometimes take over.

It's my personal opinion, but I think that when a seducer tires of this lifestyle and seeks something more meaningful, he will eventually appreciate moving on to healthy relationships, we could say that healthy, friendly romantic relationships, where there's still plenty of passion, and healthy friendly relationships, where you can make lots of friends, are the ultimate goal for a great life?

What kind of skin are you in naturally? The first type, or the second?
Where are you looking to fit?

 

[Travel memoir21]

Your best article yet, you need to expand on this topic. Nothing wrong with having platonic girlfriends.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

being a natural seducer,

Have to disagree.

Some of the most successful naturals I've ever met had a ton of friends in their social circle, a ton of success with women, and were always enjoyable to be around.

I could understand how somebody who "learns" to game women very well could turn off normal folks, but for absolute naturals, I think it's the opposite.

 

[plumber]

Being in a seductive mindset, or being a natural seducer, doesn’t really help when it comes to making new friends or expanding your social circle. I’ve got some personal stories about this, but I’ll wait to hear others’ thoughts first.
In my experience, the “seducer type” is usually disliked by most people. You know that feeling when someone like this is around you? You have that "you piss me off" feeling.


Then there’s this other kind of guy, he has like 500 friends and hangs out with people from all kinds of different circles. Women are always around him, but he rarely hooks up.
Why? Because he gives off the “I’m your friend” energy. That’s the kind of energy that builds friendships and leads to long-term success in life.
You know those guys that can make a night out and come back home with many new friends?
Or just met new people and make friends so easy.
Some people are just naturally great at this, they’ll go far, and they’ll be genuinely happy. They’re never alone, always surrounded by healthy friendships.
Usually, those kind of man, is not the seductive type. Also, He can easly fail into oneitis or just treath women like friends.

On the flip side, people who carry themselves with a seductive aura rarely make friends. Most people just don’t like them. But women? Oh man… women love that vibe.
Today’s society has reached a strange point where men are constantly being told how to be more seductive, how to get more women. And at the same time, on the other side, there are also others being advised on how to maintain LTR's and build healthy couples.
Funny enough, many of those so called “toxic” relationships you hear about? They're often those of the seductive man. (You'll hear the woman complain so much and cry and go back and forth, just yell and argue many times. but still sits there with him. This is easier to read when they've kids/marriage)

Meanwhile, healthy couples are usually built on a completely different dynamic, more like a friendship with benefits. They both work together to create something solid.
But they’re also aware that we’re animals, and our biological instincts can sometimes take over.

It's my personal opinion, but I think that when a seducer tires of this lifestyle and seeks something more meaningful, he will eventually appreciate moving on to healthy relationships, we could say that healthy, friendly romantic relationships, where there's still plenty of passion, and healthy friendly relationships, where you can make lots of friends, are the ultimate goal for a great life?

What kind of skin are you in naturally? The first type, or the second?
Where are you looking to fit?

True alpha works with everyone. If the man is confident/real confidence he usually will get along with almost everyone. Will have friends from all walks of life, ages, and gender...

If he is out of sync and gaming or artificially making up for something he doesn't have; that will leak through to many. One of the things a real alpha does is care for the pack. Result is that the pack loves them.

Women want winners, period. You don't have to be an alpha to win. You can be a real heal and trigger women. The guys your talking about openly step on other men to elevate themselves. Unfortunately it works for attracting most women as it is a win....

There is a better way.

 

[BaronOfHair]

What kind of skin are you in naturally?

The one that was once attached the face of my minder

 

[jhonny9546]

I could understand how somebody who "learns" to play women very well could turn off normal folks.

Okay, so you've managed to identify a third type of person.

Some of the most successful naturals I've ever met had a ton of friends in their social circle, a ton of success with women, and were always enjoyable to be around.

Was their behavior polite in front of people and then Did they talk badly about people behind their backs? Were they manipulative or mistakenly called "persuaders"? Did they use tactics?

Explain to us more closely what types they were.

The guys your talking about openly step on other men to elevate themselves. Unfortunately it works for attracting most women as it is a win....

There is a better way.

You hit the nail on the head. It explains the best way.

One of the things a real alpha does is care for the pack. Result is that the pack loves them.

In my experience, even the "artificial" one does this, and others still fail to distinguish between manipulation and sincere help.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think Johnny is referring to a seducer with Dark Triad traits. Somebody like that would attract women but would be not be liked by other men for obvious reasons that have nothing to do with envy.

There are “naturals” who are well liked by others but they don’t have significant (or obvious) Dark Triad traits like the first example. I think that is the difference.

I’m closer to the “friend” guy example in real life, but it’s on a much smaller scale because I’m an introvert.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Was their behavior polite in front of people and then Did they talk badly about people behind their backs? Were they manipulative or mistakenly called "persuaders"? Did they use tactics?

Explain to us more closely what types they were.

They were friendly outgoing people who enjoyed being around others and enjoyed being themselves.

No social fears, they enjoyed making people, including women, smile and feel good.

People like this get laid like crazy without even trying.

These are the people that are naturally persuasive and seductive.

The kind of people that others try to emulate/copy/learn from but by ONLY copying certain outer behavioral elements without even thinking about their inner game.

ALL GAME is "learned" or partially copied from those who are naturally charismatic.

But if outer techniques are adopted by people with inner issues, the outer techniques aren't used with a lot of congruence and it comes across as extremely creepy and manipulative.

 

[Travel memoir21]

You can be a quiet introspective, laidback dude and still get girls depending on the frame where you're coming from. Writers whose got groupies, dudes who pick up chicks in bookstores and cafes or yoga classes are good examples of this.

 

[jhonny9546]

These are the people that are naturally persuasive and seductive.

I'm starting to get a better understanding of the type of people you're describing, but to really have a clear picture, I think some examples of what you mean by "persuasion" and "seduction" in these cases would help.


Also, a clear distinction came to mind yesterday while one of my friends from group 1 was saying goodbye. Those in the first group, the "I'm your friend" vibe kind of people, always greet everyone in a charismatic way.


Usually, they're the first to say hi as soon as they see you, they come over, shake your hand or give you a hug (here in Italy, we usually greet with two kiss on the cheeks), and they're genuinely happy to see you.


On the other hand, those in group 2, the ones with a more seductive aura, don’t greet people like that. They might just raise a hand, give a nod, or simply say “Hi”, while still remaining in their own space or "sphere."


From this difference alone, you can clearly understand the two types of men I was talking about, and probably even imagine how their behavior tends to unfold in other situations as well.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I think some examples of what you mean by "persuasion" and "seduction" in these cases would help.

This is like asking for specific examples for guys like Magic Johnson, who are just natural athletes.

If you can't intuitively tell the difference between a guy who is a clumsy-needs-a-lot-of practice type of athlete vs. somebody who is just naturally gifted, I don't know what to tell you.