Being sabotaged by a girl I helped out ...

[Firefly]

This is a follow-on from this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=227641

So since finishing grad school, I decided to become a full member of a professional committee I previously was a student volunteer for. The person who took over the student volunteer role was a much younger, attractive young woman I nominated for the position, and whom I helped out a lot to settle in the role. As I mentioned in the previous thread, the other members of the committee have taken a real shine to her and have given her a lot more support then I received while undertaking the same role e.g offering her private mentoring, offering her to pay for the work that I did on a voluntary basis etc.

This girl graduates at the end of the year, and is interested in becoming a full member of the same committee. Unfortunately, she now appears to be attempting to assert her position in the group by attempting to undermine and sabotage me. In the most recent meeting, she repeated a joke I made in confidence in order to make me look foolish in front of the other members and she also appears to have made a point of disagreeing with me in meetings, even to the extent of sabotaging herself (for example, when I spoke in support for increased funding for her committee, she argued it wasn't required even though she previously commented privately that such an increase would be very beneficial).

This took me by surprise as positions on the committee are not restricted, so there is no need to undermine me to secure a position for herself and I had always been supportive of her. Due to the age difference (20+ years), I made a point of always treating her professionally.

My concern is that now that the unexpected nature of her comments prevented me from responding to them immediately, she may take this as a cue to continue to behave in such a manner in future meetings. My question is how to best respond to this? Normally, I would make a quick and brutal comeback the next time she makes such a comment; however, I am concerned that given how the rest of the committee appear to favor her, this may be seen as bullying a much younger girl. At the same time, I am not really willing to put up with this behavior repeatedly. I was considering discussing this with her privately, but I was concerned this may simply make me look weaker from her perspective. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[Darth]

Basically, she's being a b!tch. She has no place in a work environment. Try to cut her down as coldly and as lacking in emotion as possible. Look at it as all-out war. Do push-ups before the meetings if it will help-I had an old band director who used to do that sort of thing to pump himself up.

I know this seems hard because you want to be a good person, but trust me-you have to cut her down, humiliate her, shame her...dispatch her with no mercy.

Normally, I would make a quick and brutal comeback the next time she makes such a comment;

Good to hear. So you have it in you. Then go for it.

however, I am concerned that given how the rest of the committee appear to favor her, this may be seen as bullying a much younger girl.

Ignore them completely. This is between you and her.

 

[speed dawg]

There is more to this story. People who simply have loose connections don't go for blood like this woman is. I have a sneaky suspicion firefly has a thing for this chick. Why are you meeting with her in confidence and making jokes if you cannot trust her?

In order to advise you, we must get down to the truth.

 

[Firefly]

I know this seems hard because you want to be a good person, but trust me-you have to cut her down, humiliate her, shame her...dispatch her with no mercy...Ignore them completely. This is between you and her.

My concern is that doing so means putting the rest of the committee, whom I have to work with and who have taken an obvious shine to this girl, off-side.

There is more to this story. People who simply have loose connections don't go for blood like this woman is.

Yes, because no one in a work environment ever tries to undermine anyone else unless they have a close connection.

I have a sneaky suspicion firefly has a thing for this chick.

No, but I can make a sexy story up for you if you like.

Why are you meeting with her in confidence and making jokes if you cannot trust her?

a) The joke was made at another meeting, where I did not expect my comments to be relayed at an unrelated meeting.

B) At the time, I had no idea the girl would blindside me, which was kind of the whole point of my post.

 

[Alvafe]

There is more to this story. People who simply have loose connections don't go for blood like this woman is. I have a sneaky suspicion firefly has a thing for this chick. Why are you meeting with her in confidence and making jokes if you cannot trust her?

In order to advise you, we must get down to the truth.

not alwyas really low value people normally like to cut people who helped then in some way for fear of that person undercut or **** with her, since you know some of her weakness, saw that happening before by people of same sex and was in same classes for a long time and one used to help the other to study and help around.

serious dude just be brutal cut her fast and clean, make her feel insecure in her position every single time she, if she is amking it like a joke do the same, thing is everyone around knows what she is trying to do, they just don't mention it, and you let her do it.

don't go easy on her, if she thinks she is special, its time for her learn her place

 

[logicallefty]

I agree with those who say to cut her down. It's gotta be swift and cold.

For anyone with the "don't go down to her level" mindset. My response is "If a female polar bear walks up to the alpha bear and takes the alpha's salmon when he is starving, do you think the alpha will put up with that?" That could even raise a better question, would the female dare even try that?

We humans are animals. We behave like animals. But in our interactions with each other, most of our battles are battles of the mind instead of the body. Most, such as this.. This woman is trying to dominate the OP by words, which come from the mind. The OP needs to swing back with force and not allow this sh|t and disrespect from some c\_/nt. No way.

 

[sodbuster]

B!tch slap her like Trump does politicians.....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Firefly,
You are in a No-Win situation...do nothing,she will destroy herself soon enough without your help!

 

[rugby11]

With this i would check out therationalmale.com and look up the quick fix article