This website has taught me a lot and I thank you all for that. I've realized that my true problem is being too reserved. It is more comfortable for me to not reach out or talk to someone. Right now, the thing I enjoy most is probably playing video games at home. I think this problem stems from when I had to go live with my aunt and uncle's family with whom I had no prior connection with after moving to America. Deep down I was afraid and I wanted to stay with my mom and now that I'm in college, I still cling onto things that are comfortable. Don't get me wrong though, I still make the effort to go out and party, but I don't enjoy it as much as I do staying in to play games. I wish I could get some advice on how I can change this.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Being reserved
- Thread starter AlphaNoob
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
It might be that your preference to stay in and play games is not something that you can change.
However you are doing the right thing by making that effort to go out and party. If you can find more enjoyment in partying, you would be more motivated to go out more often. My advice is to continue going out and try to find fun in it. Not just going out to parties, but social gatherings in general.
However you are doing the right thing by making that effort to go out and party. If you can find more enjoyment in partying, you would be more motivated to go out more often. My advice is to continue going out and try to find fun in it. Not just going out to parties, but social gatherings in general.
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
Stop playing computer games! Computer games are there to tell you your life itself is not a game to be played to the best of your abilities. They will just sap you of your masculine will and strength. In a similar way, the unreality of a gaudy Disneyland is there to be contrasted with the 'real' world. Be the hero of your own story.
Try and earn better social skills but don't over analyze people's responses to you. Sometimes u screwed up, sometimes they were just in a bad mood because their boss ragged on them or their dog died or whatever. Just consistently show interesting people and write down the things you learn about them and you will do fine.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Kind of in relation to the gentleman's post above.This may sound cynical, but since most of us here aim to better ourselves perhaps you can relate to it. I use meeting new people and putting my self out there as oppourtunities for practicing my social/interpersonal skills. As soon as I had a ''purpose'' I found these situations more fun and as great practice grounds for trying out theories I studied from books. Of course you should try and enjoy yourself foremost, but who says you can't kill two birds with one stone?