Don Giovanni
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2002
- Messages
- 24
- Reaction score
- 5
Have you ever noticed that middle-aged man make some slightly corny joke for some woman who is around him? This might be in the office, at work, or at any place where there is waiting to be done, like a line at the bank. The joke isn't really all that funny, but the woman laughs and so does the guy (well, he might chuckle). There really isn't anything wrong with what he has done, but there is something wrong with who he has become . He isn't frustrated with women as a teenager might be going into puberty. In fact, he's probably extremely comfortable around women. I mean, he's always making them laugh, isn't he?
What's the problem then? Couldn't you even call this the Don Juan way with they way he's always talking to the ladies and making them chuckle with him? No, this is not the way. This way leads to nowhere. Why would I give this poor guy a hard time? The problem is just that- this guy is poor. Poor in what way you say? Poor in spirit. Poor in life.
Think back and remember someone you really admired. Was he strong and calm? Was he full of life? Was he loud and warm? You know him, so you describe him. Now can you imagine that person you admire so much making some corny little comment to a woman on line just to start up some lukewarm conversation? I hope not.
Where am I leading you? Well, shift the scene of the middle aged man and middle aged woman to whatever age group now. Let's pick a younger couple now. The joke will be different. The energy that the guy puts into it is different too (probably nervous). His goals are different too (probably... well, you're familiar). The problem is probably still the same. He is still poor. You might say "But wait, the middle aged guy and this young striving guy are very different! The young guy is trying to pick up the girl and the old guy is just making idle talk!" It is the same, however. Our young protagonists is going to repeat this scene with several young ladies over time. Some he will want (and might be nervous with) and some he won't (not nervous then). Perhaps he'll realize that by repetition, his success will improve. So he repeats again and again until it becomes habit. Habit such that he does it automatically.
What's wrong with the picture? Did I pull a fast one on you? Can this habit that I'm talking about be so bad? Isn't this what a Don Juan is all about? Habit with the ladies? The problem is that if what you take on to be your habit revolves around the ladies, you will become poorer over time. Guys just don't make the connection sometimes that what they do today reflects in them tomorrow. You NEVER lose who you have been. This does not mean you don't change, but who you are in the future will still encompass who you were in the past.
I see too many guys today doing the whole "try to make the girl laugh at all cost" routine and I don't like it. I know I've done it before and found it empty after a while. Will the majority of guys who do it now? I eventually got out partially because I saw that there were other ways for me that were not dead ends. People with great spirit showed them to me.
What does this mean then? Don't approach? Don't make them laugh? No Don Juan? It doesn't mean this. Yes, do approach if you feel like it. Yes, do make a joke if you feel like it. Yes, Don Juan. Habits are extremely important. Don't give them up if they're good, but be aware of the unseen effects that your actions can have on you.
Don't be that guy who is still faking even after he's made it. This is how you become poor. There are other ways. So find your way, Don Juan.
What's the problem then? Couldn't you even call this the Don Juan way with they way he's always talking to the ladies and making them chuckle with him? No, this is not the way. This way leads to nowhere. Why would I give this poor guy a hard time? The problem is just that- this guy is poor. Poor in what way you say? Poor in spirit. Poor in life.
Think back and remember someone you really admired. Was he strong and calm? Was he full of life? Was he loud and warm? You know him, so you describe him. Now can you imagine that person you admire so much making some corny little comment to a woman on line just to start up some lukewarm conversation? I hope not.
Where am I leading you? Well, shift the scene of the middle aged man and middle aged woman to whatever age group now. Let's pick a younger couple now. The joke will be different. The energy that the guy puts into it is different too (probably nervous). His goals are different too (probably... well, you're familiar). The problem is probably still the same. He is still poor. You might say "But wait, the middle aged guy and this young striving guy are very different! The young guy is trying to pick up the girl and the old guy is just making idle talk!" It is the same, however. Our young protagonists is going to repeat this scene with several young ladies over time. Some he will want (and might be nervous with) and some he won't (not nervous then). Perhaps he'll realize that by repetition, his success will improve. So he repeats again and again until it becomes habit. Habit such that he does it automatically.
What's wrong with the picture? Did I pull a fast one on you? Can this habit that I'm talking about be so bad? Isn't this what a Don Juan is all about? Habit with the ladies? The problem is that if what you take on to be your habit revolves around the ladies, you will become poorer over time. Guys just don't make the connection sometimes that what they do today reflects in them tomorrow. You NEVER lose who you have been. This does not mean you don't change, but who you are in the future will still encompass who you were in the past.
I see too many guys today doing the whole "try to make the girl laugh at all cost" routine and I don't like it. I know I've done it before and found it empty after a while. Will the majority of guys who do it now? I eventually got out partially because I saw that there were other ways for me that were not dead ends. People with great spirit showed them to me.
What does this mean then? Don't approach? Don't make them laugh? No Don Juan? It doesn't mean this. Yes, do approach if you feel like it. Yes, do make a joke if you feel like it. Yes, Don Juan. Habits are extremely important. Don't give them up if they're good, but be aware of the unseen effects that your actions can have on you.
Don't be that guy who is still faking even after he's made it. This is how you become poor. There are other ways. So find your way, Don Juan.