"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Being perceived as dangerous a turn on?

Quickclicker

Don Juan
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I've pretty much considered to be scary looking. Well, my face that is. I'm around 150 pounds, but I'm working out and trying to get bigger. Whenever I go out by myself (I usually wear dark clothes), people either say, "what the hell was that?" or "wow" or some other shyt. I'm trying not to give a fuk as it was mentioned in my last post.

People (gangster wannabes) just stare at me or say some degrading **** when I walk by to spark a confrontation or to see how hard I am. Probably cause they want to feel "above me" as stupid as that sounds. Just last week I walked into our school cafeteria. Gangster wannabes wearing bandannas and what not sit or stand at the entrance rating everyone who walks in. It's like a fuking fashion show. Does anybody else who's in college notice this?

I have only two friends. One is half Italian half Indian, and the other Pakistani. However, I'm usually home on the weekends reading on this forum or about psychology, astronomy, occultism, yoga, spirituality, supernatural, cars, sports, or freestyling by myself. I want to make some more friends, but it seems most people are scared to hang with me. I talk to people in class and make funny jokes to them, but that's it. Out of class, we take two different routes. I even ask them, "hey you already eat?," or "you going to the game today?," but they always make some excuse. Bastards. Sometimes I get an entourage of indian and puerto rican boys and girls looking at me in a kinship kind of way (smiling, looking with respect). But I blow them off when I really want to go and talk to them. I feel like a puzzy going and talking to them like I need them and embarrassed to ask them, "hey can I hang with you cause I have no friends." I never used to go out for the first three semesters, but now I'm trying to get more social in my fourth semester. Plus, when girls smile and give signs of interest, I feel pathetic cause I have no entourage to kick it with. I'm a walking nobody.

How can I make friends without showing others I'm desperate? It sucks cause when I try to befriend, they pull back, and I start to think people just don't like me. Then, I see groups of guys and girls looking at me like I'm some guy in the Mafia and out to kill someone. I look dangerous. Nothing I wear or to do my face is going to change my face. I used to shave my head bald in high school, but now I have hair down to above ear level that I part in the middle so that I look less scary. What do you suggest?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MetalFortress

Master Don Juan
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Jun 28, 2003
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Keesler AFB, Mississippi
Geez, does this even need an answer? You're so worried about seeming desperate that you can't be friendly to anyone who actually looks at you in a friendly/kinship way, why? Stop being worried about seeming desperate, how do you think popular/well known guys get that way? FRIENDLINESS. They don't sit around worrying if people like them or not and acting unfriendly, THEY BE COOL and make friends or at least acquaintances. I have a huge social network, but if I want to talk to someone I don't know or they want to talk to me I will do it, I don't care if they think I'm desperate or not. If you keep worrying about how others percieve you being friendly you will never get anywhere!

Some of my friends and I have been told we look like mob enforcers (and we do, heh), but that ain't going to stop us from being friendly and personable to others.
 

Life-Trainee

Master Don Juan
Joined
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WOW, that's like an extreme version of me! I wear black cothes, leather jackets, army type boots. I have similar problems. People probably think that i'm either a druggie, some gangster type or heck knows what. And it too seems that foreign kids seem to communicate with me easily than americans here. I'm having troubles establishing friendships with both sexes. I have gained more guy friends over 3 years of college. I'm now talking to guys i've never thought of talking to and we seem to share similar interests after all. I do have a handicap of a language barrier, i'm not a native english speaker so my spoken english sometimes comes out incoherent. People just give me a weird look because of that. But i have learned to slow down my speech and that seems to be working. When doing class presentation people look at me like "Wow, that guy can actually talk". Ah, what a fun life it is.
 
Joined
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You say in one breath no one wants to be in your presence but then you say another group is more welcoming (puertoricans and indians) but then you blow them off! Huh? Are you walking around with an attitude? It may not just be your dress...but your persona!

Maybe its the occultism and supernatural persona that is unwelcoming.
 

Attraction

Don Juan
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Feb 10, 2005
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interesting!!
well, what does occultism have to do with repulsive persona. i am also a lot into occultism .. i also face similar probs in socializing (i feel some ppl DO get scared of me), but i have a number of really cool n funloving frds too (both males n females). n y wud they be scared?? i am very skinny, n not at all a big huink. some ppl say that i exude a very arrogant energy?? cud it be?? but y wud occultism be replusive??
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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