"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Being negged by a girl

MisterMcGee

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I get negged by this one girl I'm into, and I neg her back just as much if not more.
They keep coming from her, though. She usually approaches me, tells me stuff that she wouldn't tell someone she thinks lowly of, is comfortable with my touch, I got her number most recently, laughs at my jokes, greets me if i dont notice her, etc.
I've got a great frame at work (where I see her a few times a month, maybe) and I'm confident and don't get affected by BS, and I've communicated this to her in more ways than one (for example, I told her she lets stuff affect too easily and that she shouldn't care what people care about her). I deal with silly neg comments pretty well since they're made jokingly and I don't really care, and where I work they're often given by 16-17 year old girls (I'm 19).

I've been wondering if these negs from her are **** tests (I have a confident frame and such. to her, i may not be affected by them, but i do neg her and she'd naturally feel the need to neg me back), or she doesn't take me seriously and the continuing negs and such are proof of it.
Not sure, anyone else been in this experience? what are some examples of a continuing stream of ****-test type negs that you've received from a gorgeous girl.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dannyrt34

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Nope, you're falling into the trap of analyzing this way too much. Negs just keep the conversation fun, she's basically just being a fun girl and keeping the conversation exciting with you. It's a good sign, so stop thinking everything is a test.

An example of a neg some girl used on me for halloween

Her: So what are you going to be for this halloween party.
ME: Well I bought these huge goofy glasses, and a fake beard. I think I'd make a good pedophile.
Her: Well then I'm 15.

Their not tests, just a fun way to be flirty. I used to analyze every dam thing a girl said to me. You really need to steer clear of this way of thinking, it's a trap that will hold back your progress. It did for me for a while. Then you'll realize to just take in the moment without thinking about every little thing.
 

Young Anikan

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Yea,I agree with Dannyrt34,those negs arent really **** tests she just mimicking and mirroring your conversation style,witch is an I.O.I.
 

MisterMcGee

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I do take in the moment without thinking about every little thing. I do, however, allow myself some time, such as now, to analyze my personal growth and also situations in my life that interest me.
And I'm not sure what was 'neg'-like about what she said in your example.

It's more of a behaviour I'm looking at in my case, not certain individual things she says. She has 'balls' toward me, type of thing. I tease her quite often playfully (not to be confused with me making her feel bad via cold negs), and she recognizes opportunities to get back at me, whatever they may be.
 

MisterMcGee

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To add, not sure if I should find this behaviour good from this girl, like she's being real to me and not holding back and trying to keep her frame (what a guy does), or she just wants to give me a hard time to see how I react and deal with it (**** tests), or she doesn't respect me as a man thus the behaviour and hardassiness.

I'm not sure if I see the behaviour as being flirty (though it was flirty in some instances). Kinda like Elaine and the baseball guy talking about "getting to second base" in Seinfeld. :p

But yeah, I'm not 'over analyzing' the individual things she's said or ways she's behaved, all I know is there are mixed signals from her, and one of them is her want/need to neg. Not just talking about potentially flirty stuff, either. I mean me doing something she sees as 'the wrong way' at work, her refusing to do stuff or giving a hard time when I tell her to at work (taking the opportunity to not 'give in' i guess), etc.

Just basically her doing stuff guys would do to keep a strong frame around someone, in this case me.

edit: this could even just simply be a case of 'playing hard to get' or 'being the prize'. I guess that makes the most sense. I definitely do it to her, probably more often since I love teasing gorgeous girls and having fun. And yes, she's done the 'arm slap' a couple times when I've teased or made fun of her. She definitely knows how to dish back the ammunition.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Interceptor

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If you're interested in her, as in some sort of steady relationship, the negs have to stop.
Shes enjoying the banter with you. This is just an early stage.
If you're not escalating, and then moving into the rapport , she will continue to do the 'fun' stuff, without taking you 'seriously'.
At some point it has to progress if you want anything meaningful out of it.
Often women neg a man because they want to test his confidence, bring him down a notch, test for self esteem, sense of humor, and because they think you may be so good looking they want to deflate your ego a little, and often enough, they go into autopilot and neg because theyre intimidated and think its the natural thing to do to a hot guy.
 

Lust

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MisterMcGee said:
I get negged by this one girl I'm into, and I neg her back just as much if not more.
They keep coming from her, though. She usually approaches me, tells me stuff that she wouldn't tell someone she thinks lowly of, is comfortable with my touch, I got her number most recently, laughs at my jokes, greets me if i dont notice her, etc.
I've got a great frame at work (where I see her a few times a month, maybe) and I'm confident and don't get affected by BS, and I've communicated this to her in more ways than one (for example, I told her she lets stuff affect too easily and that she shouldn't care what people care about her). I deal with silly neg comments pretty well since they're made jokingly and I don't really care, and where I work they're often given by 16-17 year old girls (I'm 19).

I've been wondering if these negs from her are **** tests (I have a confident frame and such. to her, i may not be affected by them, but i do neg her and she'd naturally feel the need to neg me back), or she doesn't take me seriously and the continuing negs and such are proof of it.
Not sure, anyone else been in this experience? what are some examples of a continuing stream of ****-test type negs that you've received from a gorgeous girl.
Negs are normal.

They are just a bit of playful conflict, it happens all the time in social interactions. Don't worry about it and try not to over-analyse.
 
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