Being more outgoing/charismatic/etc

[Maeisgood]

In order to be a DJ or even have friends, I have to be social. Most of the friends and girls I've ever had approached me first or I've met them through others. I cannot figure out how to be my own man, I've always depended on others to show me other people. This is because I cannot start and carry on conversations. If I'm forced into situations with other people, they usually find me likeable. I can't figure out how most people, especially Alpha Males are able to go up to complete strangers and befriend them and stuff.

How do I be more social and always have something interesting to talk about?

I have hobbies and things, there're fun things in my dorm room, but I can't figure out how to attract people in general.

 

[Docs]

You start by coming out of your shell.

Make it a point to approach one girl that you want to approach everytime you head out. By approach, I don't mean try to pick up, just talk to her about whatever comes to mind. Ask her questions, let her ask questions back, comment on her appearance, offer a opinion, tell her a story, whatever you want.

And you keep doing this, every time you head out, you'll meet someone new. Soon enough, you'll be rolling in conversation, and you'll find yourself accidently talking to 2 people a day, and then 3, and four, and then so on and so forth.

You learn to keep a conversation rolling, and then you start trying to shoot for a close. Start with a simple friendly touch of the hands when you meet them, progress to a hug, whilst also starting to shoot for the number, a same day date, whatever you feel up to.

And thus...the cycle continues...

 

[MetalFortress]

Go into a sales-type of job that involves face to face communication. I was in sales for just one month, but I changed forever.

 

[howardalex]

dude just go out and talk to them as friends...maybe meet them through current friends, that's the best way IMO

I'm no alpha male or anything like that but there's nowt wrong with just going talking to people - if they don't like you they'll soon stop talking and what have you lost?

just get talking to lots of people I guess

 

[Hyde]

I'll tell you one thing. You're not going to meet anyone while you're sitting on the internet reading these forums. This topic has been addressed a million times and for some reason, people are still waiting for that golden tip. Well, the golden tip is in you. Yes, you. You know what you have to do. You're just waiting for the golden tip, the flawless tip, the tip that works 110% of the time to motivate you. Even if the golden tip came along, you'd still have your doubts. Okay, yeah, the person who sent you the golden tip provided proof. A video showing himself field testing the golden tip on 50 different people and it worked every single time. Still, you're thinking, "it's only 50 people. Try 100."

You know what you have to do. Get out there. Get rejected. Get rejected a lot, because once you get accepted, that feeling is going to stick with you. You'll keep getting accepted. The problem isn't what you're doing wrong. The problem is that you're not motivated enough to keep doing it.

 

[Maeisgood]

Thanks for the tips. I wasn't looking for a pick up line, I just want to know how to be more outgoing. One time, someone suggested reading the newspaper to find interesting stuff to talk about. This makes some sense, because reporter's living is to find interesting stuff to say, but this might be sort of boring stuff to tell to a woman. The most interesting part of it to them would be human interest stories and drama.

I just feel like in order to talk to someone, I have to actually have something to say and not just shoot the breeze. I have watched outgoing people and I don't understand what they do. I used to have a paper napkin in my room and I'd write stuff to say if I thought of it and then said it the next day. That seems so AFC to me and a lot of effort. It should be easier for a DJ to be more social. I've also considered looking into seeing what politicians do, because they have many things in common with DJs, or they don't have a job. Radio announcers also always have stuff to say. I just don't see where these people find so much to say.

Docs, tomorrow I plan on taking your advice by getting to class early and just talk to people.

 

[penkitten]

Go into a sales-type of job that involves face to face communication. I was in sales for just one month, but I changed forever.

you stole my advise metal! well, at least it helped me become more social and now i can talk to everyone.

 

[Maeisgood]

I could talk to her today, I even got her and the entire class to laugh and stuff, but I can only do that rarely. I just need stuff to talk about. I almost feel like I'm the single writer for a show, always looking for interesting stuff to say and make people laugh.

If I could find stuff to say, I wouldn't be so shy.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Learn how to start conversations in basic situations.

 

[DjDreamer]

That's right... learning to start conversations in basic situations is the key... baby steps... there is no magic wand there to transform you into Mr talks a lot about big stuff...

A little bit of small talk goes a long way...