being in control

[evil_tomato]

Hey Guys,

I have a quick question. Ive been reading over the dj bible and all are the articles here repeatedly but theres something i dont get.

How do you actually become the prize and come across as the dominant confident guy without seeming like a douche or arrogant. How do i take control and lead on dates? how do i make her know that I AM in control and the leader not her?

One thing i seem to find when im on dates especially with a HB is that i can be really shy and friendly and sometimes to scared to make a move just incase ive read signals wrong or she doesnt want me to and then other times i feel like i come across as if im rushing to make her my gf/get laid and they sence that and then i dont usually hear from them again or i will untill they find a better deal...how do i stop this?

The other thing is i look like a bad ass but im actually the biggest softie, laid back guy, go with the flow guy which in a way doesnt go with how i look. Whenever girls first see me they think that im a badboy guy but then its like my personality/character is the opposite and i want to change this!!

Any ideas???

 

[Jariel]

The other thing is i look like a bad ass but im actually the biggest softie, laid back guy, go with the flow guy which in a way doesnt go with how i look. Whenever girls first see me they think that im a badboy guy but then its like my personality/character is the opposite and i want to change this!!

Any ideas???

I've always had this exact same problem. I've heard terms like "gentle giant" and "teddy bear" used to describe me, which is emasculating and offensive.

I don't believe you must become a jerk or treat people badly to command respect, nor do you have to march round like The Terminator. You just have to care less what people think and hold back less.

For example, I realised that my old work colleagues and my new work colleagues have almost opposite perceptions of me.

My old job was very manual and I associated with more down to earth people. I allowed those people to see a darker side to my sense of humour, I'd openly talk about sex and sexual desires, I was more ****y and funny and showed more mischief. I generally behaved more true to how I think and people perceived me as I look. These people think I'm a bad ass and kind of a lovable jerk. They know I'm not a guy to cross.

My new job is more upper/middle class and I'm required to be more polite and accommodating. I hold back on my humour more and hold back on a lot of my thoughts and desires more, and my dark/dry sense of humour. I'm generally more aware of causing offense so I project this "nice guy" persona. These people perceive me as a "gentle giant" and as someone who is eager to please.

One of my bosses got quite a shock one day when he tried to berate me and I stood upto him. We had a huge argument and I stood my ground. We shook hands a few days later and cleared the air and he has shown so much more respect since.

Just be the guy that comes naturally and embrace your image. I also find that studying role models helps. Watch their body language, the way they talk and convey themselves and think of yourself as that person.

 

[PlayHer Man]

1. Take women off the pedestal

2. Spin plates

3. Stop worry about how you "come across"

4. Don't apologize for who you are

5. Go for sex first, relationships later

Number five is the most important one. Its the woman's job to SELL the idea of a relationship to a man. Any man who goes in already wanting a relationship has lost the game before he started. Only seek sex. Let a woman prove she is worthy of more. If you can't do this, then you will never be "in control".

Just like a woman who gives into sex too easily flushes away all her power.. a man who is too willing to jump into a friendship or relationship with a woman without getting his sexual desires met as a cover charge flushes all his power way. :yes:

 

[NewJack]

OP wrote:

other times i feel like i come across as if im rushing to make her my gf/get laid and they sence that and then i dont usually hear from them again or i will untill they find a better deal...how do i stop this?

The tactics on this website were devised to deal with women who had low interest levels. While you pursue women with low interest levels, the games, flakes, and general tomfoolery will be pretty constant. The tactics don't so much provide a way to "win" - there is no way to "win" when the goal is a romantic/sexual relationship and the other person doesn't really want it - but they provide you with a way to shelter your ego and keep your social persona in tact while you meet and dump/are dumped by all the women who will come into your life and want to flirt but nothing more.

Essentially you want to develop the emotional maturity to understand what a real relationship is, and the experience/instincts to know by feeling what connection you have with a woman. Until you develop that, you can protect your identity from complete disintegration by "nexting" girls whose actions are ambiguous, protect yourself from your own loneliness and sadness by "spinning plates", and cover up your own desperation by "acting aloof". All of this of course is complete bull****, but it keeps guys socializing and not giving up even when their results are poor, and this is the equivalent of helping them be persistent. Eventually they meet a girl with high interest level and if you are smart enough not to "game" her too much, and just be yourself fearlessly, a relationship will ensue. That relationship will teach you lessons on how to share yourself more boldly and honestly with women, after which time, relating to them will become a lot easier.

 

[evil_tomato]

how do i get in her pants first without letting her know that i just want to bang her? i mean its hard enough getting them to come to mine, a lot of them wont on first dates. I know that i dont mention it straight out but even if i did get her to mine and she doesnt want to get intimate then what??

 

[PlayHer Man]

how do i get in her pants first without letting her know that i just want to bang her? i mean its hard enough getting them to come to mine, a lot of them wont on first dates. I know that i dont mention it straight out but even if i did get her to mine and she doesnt want to get intimate then what??

If you "look like a bad ass / bad boy" as you claim.. getting women to f*ck you fast shouldn't be very difficult.

Here is my average step by step when meeting a new girl:

1. Flirt, chat, joke.

2. If she isn't ready to f*ck me right on the spot.. I get her number and leave the scene.

3. Send a text: "Hey cutie. What you doing tonight?"

(Note: If she gives a lame response I simply don't text back. This sometimes f*cks with her head but that's not why I do it. For me.. I have other plates to spin).

4. If she is happy to hear from me I'll invite her out. Tell her to meet me somewhere for drinks, coffee, event, etc.

5. Once we meet, I'll flirt, chat, joke and ask some useful questions:

-"What do you do for fun?"
-"Do you go out a lot?"
-"Are you in school?"
-"What is your job?"

6. Bold moves and inappropriate touching: Touch her thigh, grab her ass, tickle her, etc.

- If her response is overly negative she is probably c*nt and I will next her.
- If her response is good I will continue with the physicality and try to f*ck her immediately (car, bathroom, apartment, hotel, etc).
- If her response is positive but she's not ready.. I will let her go home and repeat the process one more time. If I don't f*ck her the second time I next her (since I don't want a relationship.. just plates).

Most of the time I invite girls to meet me at places I will be anyway.. or I have them meet me at the bar that's a 10 minute walk from my apartment. This is especially good for happy hours. If she is dumb enough to drive there and get drunk.. no worries.. my apartment is a 10 minute walk. She can crash there and get her car in the morning. :yes:

 

[JimmyBizzle]

1. Take women off the pedestal

2. Spin plates

3. Stop worry about how you "come across"

4. Don't apologize for who you are

5. Go for sex first, relationships later

Number five is the most important one. Its the woman's job to SELL the idea of a relationship to a man. Any man who goes in already wanting a relationship has lost the game before he started. Only seek sex. Let a woman prove she is worthy of more. If you can't do this, then you will never be "in control".

Just like a woman who gives into sex too easily flushes away all her power.. a man who is too willing to jump into a friendship or relationship with a woman without getting his sexual desires met as a cover charge flushes all his power way. :yes:

Yea sir!! This right here!!!