Being ignored after making out on 1st date and securing 2nd

[ChicagoBears]

Went out on a date with a girl and it went great. We had lots of things in common. We ended up making out all night and secured the second date. I texted her 2 days later and confirmed the second date after the holidays. She replied that we are still on for dinner. I left it at that. I waited 3 days and texted her that dinner was fine the first date but id like to do something more fun and out of the ordinary for the second date. Wanted to create some kind of intrigue. No response. I played it as the text did not need a response. I waited 5 days to send next text asking if we are still on for the second date after the holidays. No response. I haven't texted back. Am I being played? We are in our 30's kind of too old for games. I don't get how we going from making out like teenagers and planning a second date to no response. I'm going with the no contact approach.

 

[pinkfl]

Call don't text.

 

[Purefilth]

Call don't text.

Also

Went out on a date with a girl and it went great. We had lots of things in common. We ended up making out all night and secured the second date. Dont offer a 2nd date on the first dateI texted her 2 days later and confirmed the second date after the holidays. why? - if youve already set it she'll show - if she doesnt show or flakes out, then NEXT!She replied that we are still on for dinner. I left it at that. I waited 3 days and texted her that dinner was fine the first date but id like to do something more fun and out of the ordinary for the second date.why wait 3 days? Wanted to create some kind of intrigue.good No response. I played it as the text did not need a response. I waited 5 days to send next text asking if we are still on for the second date after the holidays. now you're being needy - see above A) Call with a reason - no fluff talk. and no need to reconfirm a date already set (let alone twice!!!) B)now you seem insecure AND NEEDYNo response. I haven't texted back. Am I being played? We are in our 30's kind of too old for games. I don't get how we going from making out like teenagers and planning a second date to no response. I'm going with the no contact approach.

No contact approach huh? After you've already come off needy and shown that you have no other options.We are in our 30's kind of too old for games. yet you're trying to play them - BADLY.

May have killed the attraction here already my friend.


Points
Dont talk about another date ON the first date.

If you're gonna ask her on another date - tell her you'll call after the holidays as you're busy during.

Call her after the holidays and set up the date.



After the first date you want to leave her time to think about you and discuss you with her friends.
You want to let her miss you.
You want her waiting for your call after the holidays - wondering if you really will call.

You call with purpose and a plan - this is of course the intriguing action date that you have planned.

You offer her a choice of two days.

If she cant make these two days you say - ok no worries and hang up.

Call a few days later and offer her another two different days.
If once again she cant do these and there is no counteroffer - you walk away and dont look back. Because this is how she is telling you that she is not interested.

You show your interest in her by setting up dates as outlined by me.

She shows her interest in you by accepting the date AND NOT FLAKING.


At the risk of sounding like Harry Wilmington "Texting Kills Attraction".

Dont believe me? ^^Pinkfl is a girl - and her only words to you were CALL, DON'T TEXT.



@Harry Wilmington - if you read this? Sorry for the mis-quote i just feel my wording is more accurate.

 

[ChicagoBears]

First off, thank you for taking the time out to reply. I don't know about coming across as needy. When he agreed to go out with me, she wanted to go out two days later. I shot that down and told her I would not be free until the following week-9 days later. Before the first date, I also did the "are we still on for the date" just to confirm. That's how I am. I have been divorced a year now, and I have women throwing themselves at me. I had a married friend drive 40 miles just to seduce me-I shot her down. Women 15 years younger are chasing me, the girls I dated so far I cared nothing about and they wont stop calling and texting me. I consider this one as LTR material. As far as texting and not calling, she is a texter. She works two jobs and prefers that she not be interrupted. Again, thank you guys for your input!

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Bud. I've had the same thing happen twice. 2nd time just last week. Yes. You're selection in timing,etc may not have been perfect. But is anyone ever perfect? The problem was not you my friend. It's her. Both times this happened I viewed the girl as awesome ltr material. You are mistaken. How do I know? If the girl was awesome ltr material she would be in a ltr either with you or someone else. It either is or isn't in God's will for you guys to get together. It wont take long to figure which one it is. As a side note. The first time this happened to me I later ran into the girl a year later, we actually went on a few more dates. Turna out she has bad add/bpd issues. I assure you, your girl has a similar problem you just dont see either because she has it hidden or you are wearing your rose colored glasses.

 

[Purefilth]

Right, let's see here.

Firstly - Gods will has sod all to do with this.

Secondly - 1 date and she's possible ltr material? No. There's so much wrong with that statement I won't even start on it.

Thirdly - you clearly have no other options. Get some, you won't be so needy.
whatever you claim to have chasing you? YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET LOOKING FOR ANSWERS.

Fourth - I doubt she's bpd - they start out with apparant high interest to suck you in, the crazy doesnt start until she owns your soul.

Fifth - all girls are texters. Be a man. No need to bent to her will.

6th - neediness and showing your lack of options. You made a 2nd date ON the first one. Then double checked 3 times in a week. Cmon man! Seriously? You don't see that? It screams
"I have no other options, I can't believe you said yes to another date!"

You showed way too much interest and chased her, as we all know "no challenge = no interest"(works both ways )


Leave it and see if she gets back to you. If she does, make it a little harder for her to read you. Ok pumpkin?


Peace.

 

[ChicagoBears]

I've known her for a while, dude. We were not good friends, but we knew each other and have mutual friends. So yes, ltr material. looking for answers on the Internet because I've been divorced a year after 16 years of marriage. Not sure about the game this day and age. I have other options, but none are ltr. So I'd appreciate it if you don't call me a liar.

 

[Purefilth]

I've known her for a while, dude. We were not good friends, but we knew each other and have mutual friends. So yes, ltr material. looking for answers on the Internet because I've been divorced a year after 16 years of marriage. Not sure about the game this day and age. I have other options, but none are ltr. So I'd appreciate it if you don't call me a liar.

Everyone on the Internet is a 6'4" cage fighter with a 12" d!ck.:crackup:

Ok, so you have options, but chasing her like that will lead her to believe otherwise.

The info about options and knowing her a bit more than just 1 date would've been good in the OP though - wouldve saved the butthurt

I still stand by my first answer though.

Also.
I dont like the sound of

She replied that we are still on for dinner.

sounds a bit like she wants a free meal or two out of you - especially since she hasn't replied after you told her "No we'll do something else"

She's in her 30's then she ain't new to this game - a heavy makeout session as a reward for dinner (which I assume you paid for?) and to grab your interest for another free meal?



*Will add here if I run out of posts.*

 

[VladPatton]

You can never secure a second date. Not on the first, not with 300 phone calls. She can and will flake on you until you ring her doorbell. Just something to keep in mind.