Being happy BEFORE you get a woman

[PUA in Training]

Suffering from depression, I've read a lot of self-help books. One that I found particularly fascinating is called "Authentic Happiness" by Dr Martin Seligman. There's one part where he talks about studies showing that married people are (on average) happier than single people.

And he discusses the question of whether they're happier because they're married, or if they are more likely to be married because they're happier. After all, he says, depressed people tend to be withdrawn, irritable, and self-focused, making them less appealing potential partners.

Hopefully, a guy won't have to come to sosuave.com to know that most if not all women find confidence in a man to be perhaps the sexiest personality trait there is. Well, its hard to have self-confidence and believe in yourself without being happy.

I know, its a minor point and most who read this will say "well duh". But its just another thing that points to the basic philosophy of this board: favoring just having your sh!t together in general over techniques.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I think that most of the guys here are not truly happy with themselves, and that this forum might actually do more harm than good.

 

[WC2]

It's true; here you will find many who bring their problems here before us, and few who have the intellect to solve them.

Being someone who had a sibling go through depression, I know what it incurs. It is very true that happiness comes before love. If you seek a woman to cure your depression, your search will render useless.

There's a few reasons for this

#1 - Love in a lot of people's minds has been shaped and deformed by Hollywood. Love is a verb. You really cannot fall in love with no effort. You must love to be loved. To simplify this, love does not just happen, contrary to popular belief, and even if you do believe there is one out there that is "The One," she most likely is not

#2 - A woman works off emotions. Men who are insecure with their life (depressed men), offer little to women who seek emotion. They do not want to feel your depressing emotions; they want your confident intellect to spark their emotions.

You must find yourself before you find a woman.

A good start is changing your habits. Check out "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."

I am not depressed in anyway and I am fairly successful, but there is something for everyone to be learned in this book.

What I have learned is all this PUA/Technique business goes straight out the window if you do not have confidence in yourself. Hell, I don't need techniques. Give yourself a successful life and there is plenty to be talked about and learned through experience with women. Be confident. Be self-sufficient. And most of all, be your own person.

 

[Ace of Flames]

I've been saying this for a long time.

You have to get your own life together first. Women are just icing on the cake. No woman wants to deal with your problems, she has her own. She isn't your mom. And she won't be attracted to someone more messed up than she is. If you don't even like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

A man is supposed to be a pillar of strength for not only his woman, but for his whole family, once they come along. They depend on you. You have to be a leader.

 

[Ace of Flames]

:crackup:

Why do we or us men be the leader??Why cant women lead us??Why do we approach women,why cant they come to us??Is not nature either nope its america has made sociality like this.

But let me explain somethang to you lets say your life is ok but your feeling that you dont got a women,but when you do got a women what happens to your life??If your smart or have common sense you know what im talking about.

Ok, your first two questions tell me that you're lazy and want women to do all the work that you're too chicken to do yourself. Maybe you'd prefer an amazon-type society?

Then your next question proves your stupidity, because women DO approach men, just not as often as the opposite. Just maybe they don't approach you. I don't have to list the many reasons why.

Your next statement blames America for all this. Well, America has nothing to do with it. Its been like this since long before America became a country, and even before there WERE countries. Its genetics.

You want to explain something to me? How I only wish you didn't speak from your a$$. I could barely even follow what you wrote after that, but I think you're trying to say that life sux until you get a woman. Trust me, unless you find a healthy, mentally stable, STD and drug free woman, you're life usually gets worse after you get a woman. But so it goes, your life probably sux either way.

I am both smart, and have common sense. I'll chalk that up as to why I have a clear view of the world, and you seem to be living in illusions. I hope and pray for you, though I doubt it'll help.

 

[Mitch_Mustain]

Why do we or us men be the leader??Why cant women lead us??Why do we approach women,why cant they come to us??Is not nature either nope its america has made sociality like this.

But let me explain somethang to you lets say your life is ok but your feeling that you dont got a women,but when you do got a women what happens to your life??If your smart or have common sense you know what im talking about.

You're probably a homosexual with breast implants

and amazon type of women are actually really really sexy when they take care of themselves, no joke! In my infamous weekend of rejections at the mall, I saw a few 8s who probably would beat my ass at a moments notice. I was too scared to approach them,

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

I think that most of the guys here are not truly happy with themselves, and that this forum might actually do more harm than good.

I agree and what a shame that is.

The search for happiness should transcend all the bull**** people come looking for here when there is really no reason why you cant be happy right now in this second.

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

But let me explain somethang to you lets say your life is ok but your feeling that you dont got a women,but when you do got a women what happens to your life??If your smart or have common sense you know what im talking about.

You know, I have to agree with you. Cuz, I'm in the same boat, I have a good life, and I am content, but holding the "V" card at 26, yeh, it depresses me. But, not so much that I've not done it yet, but what depresses me is that I seemingly cannot attract women, even though I feel I have a good life. Something about my personality turns them off. I dunno, but yeh, I'd be a lot happier with someone in my life.

 

[dreamx_not_afc]

Suffering from depression, I've read a lot of self-help books. One that I found particularly fascinating is called "Authentic Happiness" by Dr Martin Seligman. There's one part where he talks about studies showing that married people are (on average) happier than single people.

And he discusses the question of whether they're happier because they're married, or if they are more likely to be married because they're happier. After all, he says, depressed people tend to be withdrawn, irritable, and self-focused, making them less appealing potential partners.

Hopefully, a guy won't have to come to sosuave.com to know that most if not all women find confidence in a man to be perhaps the sexiest personality trait there is. Well, its hard to have self-confidence and believe in yourself without being happy.

I know, its a minor point and most who read this will say "well duh". But its just another thing that points to the basic philosophy of this board: favoring just having your sh!t together in general over techniques.

You guys depend on books too much,I would suggest trying to solve the problem yourself,but who is gonna listen to me nobody of what it seems ooh well.

 

[WC2]

You guys depend on books too much,I would suggest trying to solve the problem yourself,but who is gonna listen to me nobody of what it seems ooh well.

Reading books IS solving problems yourself. People who insist that reading books like this is a waste of time are usually lazy and do not have the determination to do this.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

I think that most of the guys here are not truly happy with themselves, and that this forum might actually do more harm than good.

I agree.

Focusing too much on your flaws can keep you from progressing. Spending too much time reading the sh!t that's been floating around here, lately, is hardly what I'd call "inspirational".

We need to fill ourselves with positive thoughts and ideas daily, and being exposed to so much insecurity and bitterness like the crap some guys spew out is contagious and can lead you to focus on your bad instead of your good traits.