being friends with your ex, good or bad idea?

[DJmonster]

I broke up with my girl friend today after six months. I really loved this girl, but she just wasn't for me. The breakup went very smoothly. I told her I wanted to end it. She said ok (she was very cold, showing no emotion, she had expected it).

She emailed me this:

[I dont know how to word this, maybe I shouldn't even try, but I think we could be friends. Maybe at frist it would be hard, but I think it would be worth it. ]

This was my first ltr, so I'm not sure how to handle this breakup. I'm leaning towards not responding and never talking to her again. I don't ever want her back, but at the same time, I think it would be difficult seeing her with other guys. Anybody else develope good friendships with their ex? or tried to, but it didn't work out?

 

[Dirtheart]

I've never had it work and it just prolongs the pain of the break up, the hope and the bitterness - if not for you, then maybe for her.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

I've never been in love but I'm good friends with most of my previous lays/Fvckbuddies and stuff like that. Two of them are my very best friends!

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
I've never had it work and it just prolongs the pain of the break up, the hope and the bitterness - if not for you, then maybe for her.

exactly!

If u are going to "end" something, do it right.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

im friends with my ex and i consider her one of my best friends. and besides, though it would be hard at first, you should consider befriending her bf too so you could meet other girls! and your ex would be your.. last-minute date, friend and someone who could actually give you more social proof!!!

 

[Austin Allegro]

I'm friends with my ex, but that was because when we broke up she went abroad for a year, and we only became friends after she came back. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone I'd just broken up with, it would just prolong the agony.

That said, I do like my ex - she's beautiful (a clear 9) so gives me tons of proof, and also introduces me to lots of women!

 

[MacDiddy]

She stabs a dagger into your heart. You go thru hell trying to pull it out and now you want her to stick it back in. Lord Al'Mightly you have a high threshold for pain. Without time apart she will only treat you as a second class friend. With her other friends taking first priority.

If you want to be friends, leave her out of your life for 6mths, then you can initate a friendship without hard feelings and everyone is on an equal footing, and she might turn out to be the best friend you'll have. But for now, you'll still be playing power games if you don't take a break, and after your through with it, you;ll never be friends again.

 

[DJmonster]

yeah.... I don't want to be friends with her right now. I just want to move on, and that will be harder if we're still in contact. However I do see the advantages, ie social proof/hookups/good company, so maybe someday.

thanks

 

[xblitz44x]

Right now, I would just withdraw from the entire thing all together until you've gotten over the intial sting. I have kept good friends with most if not all of my ex's and it's awesome. But it's pretty obvious that right now you're not ready for that. So cut it off until you are 100% detached and can literally BE friends with her and talk to her as if she is one of your guy friends.