"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Being forced to find a date.

J

Jokerlsk

Master Don Juan
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Okay guys, here's the deal. My best friend decided to man up and actually ask out this girl. Yeah, that's great and all, but his parents are super strict and they won't let him go out with her unless i go on the date with them, which in turn means that i have to double date with him... Long story short, I haven't ever gone on a date, and I don't have many options. I'm not friends with many girls at all, and the ones i am friends with for the most part have bf's. There are a few that I could go with, but i'm just not interested in.
Yeah, I'm screwed
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I

Igetit!

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r0cky said:
If you're only doing it as a favor to your buddy then it doesnt matter if you like your date or not.
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Yeah,I agree. It's not like your trying to find your "soul mate",you're just looking for a companion for that one day. Hey,you got to do what you got to do man. If you're not looking to date or get into a relationship at the moment,then just ask one of your female friends and be honest with her. Tell her the truth. Tell her that your friend has a date,but his parents won't let him go unless he goes on a double date. This way your female friend will understand that it's just a "friendly" sort of thing,and she won't feel any kind of pressure or weird feelings because all you're trying to do is help out one of your friends.

The thing I don't understand is you saying that you've never had a date before. What is that? What,have you already forgotten about Halloween?
Does this ring a bell?
 
J

Jitterbug

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I thought only high school chicks need their girly friend to come along as morale support on dates? Why would you want to go there to c0ckblock your friend on his date? You said he "man up" - well he didn't! Still very much under papa and mama's thumbs.

Anyway, easy solution for you: rock up at his place to pick his girly arse up to satisfy his parents, then piss off so that your friend can have a date free of c0ckblockers and catch up with him later when the kid's about to go home before curfew. That way you don't need a date and don't have to be the in-your-face third wheel, and his parents are happy (hopefully happy enough to remove those sticks up their arses and let their son develop into a man).
 
M

mothballs

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Damn... what's wrong with kids these days? Can't tell a decent lie anymore. If I was going to see my girlfriend I'd be out that night "at my friend's" and I would coordinate it with my friends.

And... what Jitterbug said. Just go there to pick him up and drop him off.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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T

trickz

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If he is getting told **** like that by his parents then hes not ready to be dating.

"Hey, wanna go on a date? My friend needs to come though to make sure i dont get up to any hanky panky with you"


:down:
 
J

Jokerlsk

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We both can't drive.
He could, but his parents took his license away after an accident.
About the halloween thing. I don't count that **** because she's a *****, and I don't need that on my record.We hung out, but she's not my type
 
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