Being direct vs indirect.

[SamTheHobit]

So I'd like to get everyone's opinion on this.

What do you think is better?

Direct(Making it clear you like the girl)

Or

Indirect(Subtly letting her know you like her overtime)

I've noticed direct works well in the club, but I'm not so sure relationship wise. I've been in one relationship in my life and I got into that in a very complicated manner.

So advice would be appreciated.

 

[Uncharted]

I think you need to be direct at the beginning so that she doesn't think you want to be friends, but you need to switch it up to the indirect mode at some point so that you aren't chasing her the whole time. Timing is key.

 

[Darth]

Direct. If she doesn't reciprocate your interest, then you are direct in your non-interest (which may seem to be indirect in the eyes of the outside observer but isn't).

 

[SamTheHobit]

If so then why is being direct so important in your opinion?

 

[Darth]

I believe honesty is the best policy.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Fair enough.

 

[Bossman90]

Direct is fine, as long as you can communicate value fast. I also personally find it easier to run direct game. I personally think that women and men tend to read ques differently. Girls don't tend to pick up on the fact that you like them without you showing intent aka being direct. Indirect on the other hand takes longer time to get the girl to being more willing to sleep with you.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Direct is fine, as long as you can communicate value fast. I also personally find it easier to run direct game. I personally think that women and men tend to read ques differently. Girls don't tend to pick up on the fact that you like them without you showing intent aka being direct. Indirect on the other hand takes longer time to get the girl to being more willing to sleep with you.

Yeah, because when you're being direct you'll immediately have your answer:
1) She reciprocates your interest
2) She says no (rejection) ''blah blah, just friends'' whatever

If you're being indirect it will 1) take longer and 2) might not even work out in the end and you'll have wasted 3 months of your precious time on a chick that rejects you after the trouble you put into your sneaky/stealthy subtlety.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Oh, and continuing on that matter I have a question:
Once you revealed your interest and she reciprocated (thus: direct approach was taken). Should you go talk with her frequently and any time you see her going off on the fact that you can just behave as if you would be a friend but you know she's interested in you so you're not going to be friendzoned anyway? Or should you maintain caution and still play games with her by playing hard to get, or something like that?

 

[Plutoman]

If you're being indirect it will 1) take longer and 2) might not even work out in the end and you'll have wasted 3 months of your precious time on a chick that rejects you after the trouble you put into your sneaky/stealthy subtlety.

Indirect does NOT mean spending 3 months. Indirect is a means of opening a girl, versus direct intent. Such as meeting and talking to a girl at a bar, you can either be indirect, talk to her for a while, build value, or you can go direct and express interest in her.

Oh, and continuing on that matter I have a question:
Once you revealed your interest and she reciprocated (thus: direct approach was taken). Should you go talk with her frequently and any time you see her going off on the fact that you can just behave as if you would be a friend but you know she's interested in you so you're not going to be friendzoned anyway? Or should you maintain caution and still play games with her by playing hard to get, or something like that?

Honestly, you should be reading the DJ bible.

I'll answer you here though 'cause I'm in a good mood - you'll never stop gaming a girl. The amount, the type, and the style of game may vary, but you will never stop using game. Game takes on a broad set of terms, so it's a flexible term, but.. Don't just go talk to her frequently, to start. You keep it fairly low, arrange dates, 1 on 1 time. Just because she reciprocated to a direct approach does not mean you will not be friend zoned (it's not even a factor in whether you will be friend zoned).

Can't really answer what you should do, because it's not nearly so simple as you put it. You meet girl, you directly express intent, she reciprocates, you arrange date, you go out on date, you build/communicate value, she shows she's a fun worthwhile person to be around, you arrange second date, etc etc.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Indirect does NOT mean spending 3 months. Indirect is a means of opening a girl, versus direct intent. Such as meeting and talking to a girl at a bar, you can either be indirect, talk to her for a while, build value, or you can go direct and express interest in her.

Yeah, I was thinking more about direct being:
You walk up to a girl for example at work/school and ask her on a date

Versus indirect: Walking up to a girl at work/school and get to know her better and communicate with her and get together but never make clear that it's a date and show your interest in her by kinoing, acting accordingly, etc.

In a bar obviously game goes a lot faster where the difference between direct and indirect maybe only is a matter of 30 minutes to kiss close.

Honestly, you should be reading the DJ bible.

I'll answer you here though 'cause I'm in a good mood - you'll never stop gaming a girl. The amount, the type, and the style of game may vary, but you will never stop using game. Game takes on a broad set of terms, so it's a flexible term, but.. Don't just go talk to her frequently, to start. You keep it fairly low, arrange dates, 1 on 1 time. Just because she reciprocated to a direct approach does not mean you will not be friend zoned (it's not even a factor in whether you will be friend zoned).

Can't really answer what you should do, because it's not nearly so simple as you put it. You meet girl, you directly express intent, she reciprocates, you arrange date, you go out on date, you build/communicate value, she shows she's a fun worthwhile person to be around, you arrange second date, etc etc.

I'll give that a read. Yeah I'm aware of the broadness of the term game. I didn't mean ''playing games'' in the ''the game'' way. I'm afraid I used the word game incorrectly here I guess.

But what if she was the one to obviously express her interest in you through actions and through words? Would friendzoning/rejecting you still be a good possibility?

 

[Plutoman]

Of course it is. Initial interest does not mean continual interest. It just means you aren't starting from zero. Think of a scale, 1 to 10 of interest. You get some initial flirting/interest, you're starting at a 7 instead of a 5. Maybe an 8. Who knows? You act beta, have a lack of confidence, supplicate, not aggressive, any kinds of these actions (or lack thereof, as it may be) and it's going to go down. It can go down from 8 to 3 without any issues.

And indirect should not take that long in a class setting, either.. Be clear of interest once you hit the date point. Even if you are indirect in first meeting her - do not be indirect on a date itself. I think you are confused on what that means, though, too. You should be direct with actions, not verbally. Don't say "I really like you" - show it. Through how you touch, in being aggressive towards a kiss, in flirting.

You can be indirect in getting to know her, but once you ask her out, be direct.. otherwise you're just a friend hanging out with her - and she'll be confused as heck when you try and kiss her.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Of course it is. Initial interest does not mean continual interest. It just means you aren't starting from zero. Think of a scale, 1 to 10 of interest. You get some initial flirting/interest, you're starting at a 7 instead of a 5. Maybe an 8. Who knows? You act beta, have a lack of confidence, supplicate, not aggressive, any kinds of these actions (or lack thereof, as it may be) and it's going to go down. It can go down from 8 to 3 without any issues.

Yeah, makes a lot of sense when you put it like that. Good one

 

[gravityeyelids]

I think if you're better looking/muscular/ dressed-up you can get away with direct more.

If you aren't as attractive I feel like it's better to be indirect.