being direct coms across pushy and too available?

[big weezy]

does being direct help you weed out the low quality types or just makes you come across as impatient, pushy and too available?

i always seem to come across as pushy no matter how i word my messages.

for instance i dont know if it's a good thing for me to say but for a flaky girl i sent her a message saying 'come meet me at x place at 6pm, i finish work early today and have tomorrow off'

i realise now i didn't need to tell her i have tommorrow off (might seem too available)

also if shes an independent woman i dont know if she is gona enjoy being bossed about.. im trying to be more dominant in my messages whereas when im being polite it's too wishy washy. i dont know if my being dominant is being perceived as pushy in this case. i threw in some c+f stuff before and after that line though.

 

[perseverance]

Your problem is that you over-analyse things.

Firstly telling a girl to meet you at 6pm is you making a plan, if the girl is interested and available she won't have a problem with this. The rest of what you said is just pointless waffle, it doesn't need to be included. It's pointless.

Secondly you are not bossing a woman around, you are acting like a man should. If you ask a woman out on a date, the responsibility falls to you to arrange everything, if she's interested she'll accept, if she is interested and cannot make that particular day she will counter offer for another time.

Also there is nothing wrong with being polite, politeness doesn't equal niceness. Politeness just shows someone that you have been brought up well by your parents.

An example of pushiness would be if a girl cannot make the date and says "we'll go out another time as I have plans" and you keep on trying to get her to change her plans. That's being pushy, from what you have posted you haven't been pushy at all.

Being bossy is a similar thing, it just means you're controlling, nobody wants that, but again from what you have said it doesn't sound like your bossy either.

Your problem is that you are still trying to land a girl who flakes instead of putting her on the backburner. If she has flaked on you and hasn't offered you a counter offer then just assume she isn't interested in you and chalk up your losses and soldier on.

 

[big weezy]

Your problem is that you over-analyse things.

Firstly telling a girl to meet you at 6pm is you making a plan, if the girl is interested and available she won't have a problem with this. The rest of what you said is just pointless waffle, it doesn't need to be included. It's pointless.

Secondly you are not bossing a woman around, you are acting like a man should. If you ask a woman out on a date, the responsibility falls to you to arrange everything, if she's interested she'll accept, if she is interested and cannot make that particular day she will counter offer for another time.

Also there is nothing wrong with being polite, politeness doesn't equal niceness. Politeness just shows someone that you have been brought up well by your parents.

An example of pushiness would be if a girl cannot make the date and says "we'll go out another time as I have plans" and you keep on trying to get her to change her plans. That's being pushy, from what you have posted you haven't been pushy at all.

Being bossy is a similar thing, it just means you're controlling, nobody wants that, but again from what you have said it doesn't sound like your bossy either.

Your problem is that you are still trying to land a girl who flakes instead of putting her on the backburner. If she has flaked on you and hasn't offered you a counter offer then just assume she isn't interested in you and chalk up your losses and soldier on.

You make sense. +1

basically it was an online message i sent and unfortunately she's not been on yet and now my message looks stupid cos 5.30pm passed an hour ago.

should she still offer with a time tomorrow in that case given i said i had the day off?

i smell low IL on my part. i guess i didn't need to say i was free tomorrow.

 

[perseverance]

I'm not someone who has ever online dated before, but I'd imagine it would be sensible to build some rapport with a woman, get her digits and then have a text/phone conversation and then make a date, I could be wrong though.

If she is interested in you, she will want to go out with you and she will let you know. I smell low interest on her part, but the good thing about online dating is there are millions more women on there, so get clicking and messaging. From what I gather online dating is full of flakiness and other such stuff, so you just have to trawl through a horde of women to find one you click with.

I think the best posters to address this would be Crissco and Jariel.

 

[st_99]

The number 1 thing about interacting with girls is no matter how you go about it, you can't care. You simply cannot care about the outcome. That mindset is far more important than any details. You have to drill that into your head and everything else
will go a lot smoother.

although my advice may not apply well to online messages. I'm speaking more from a face to face perspective.