daddymonsterpoodle
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2015
- Messages
- 707
- Reaction score
- 428
- Age
- 56
Don't become the a-hole. It is time to move on from these guys.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Being cut off by family
- Thread starter Stephen89
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Here's my two cents hitting rock bottom and also being a prodigy athlete.
When I was a child and into my late teens, I was a nationally ranked swimmer. Broke many records, written about in local papers and recruited by highschools and even some colleges as a freshman. I'm an introvert so was not social outside my group of friends, but people would always come talk to me. Other swimmers, parents, other team coaches, etc. I even had girls from swim clubs from other states create fan clubs and cheer for me. Was weird and definitely didn't know how to deal with that as a teen. As I lost interest in swimming and started to decline from nationally ranked to top in the state, alot of this attention slowly went away.
Naturally, as a gifted athlete, I was also horrible in school and got into alot of fights. I barely got into college (2.25 highschool GPA) and barely graduated college (2.3 GPA.....was 1.75 at one point). I graduated in 09 post great recession of 07-08 and crappy GPA. I had a horrific breakup with the girl I thought I was going to marry which devastated me. I was initially complaining to my friends about my crazy ex, and my friends were tired of hearing about it until she came back into my life only for me to catch her sleeping with a new boyfriend 3 days after our break-up. She tried to get back with me but I just ignored her. I went into PTSD, lost 20lbs in one week and did not speak for a month. As I was recovering, I got into a fight with my parents and left home at 23 with no job and no where to live. I lived at a friends place and my cousins house swapping my living situation on and off. I had the cops issue a warrant for my arrest for a fight I got into before I left my house. I had no money and had to cash in all my coins to bail myself out of jail. I called all my friends but they were tired of hearing me wine about my ex that they stopped answering my calls. Even my own cousin who is like a sister to me and left me live at her home inplace of chores, thought I had too high hopes of getting a job in new york. Not to mention all my credit cards were maxed and cell phone cut off from overdue payments.
Look at scenario 1 and scenario 2.
Scenario 1 - Everyone wants to be around the winner, the positivity, excitement. H3ll, I even had a fan club. I was so busy giving everyone just a few seconds of my time, everyone had to fight just to talk to me (exaggerated but you get the point).
Scenario 2 - No one wants to be around a debbie downer, it's draining, sad, and I had to fight just for someone to talk to me.
---
Lesson - nobody gives a sh1t about what you're going through. Everyone has their own demons, they don't want more things to worry about and another person to take care of. Everyone wants to be part of something exciting, uplifting, motivational, etc.
Deal with your own problems. Accept the fact that nobody will want to hear you complain. When there's no one left to complain to, you start to focus all your time on solving the problem such as lack of job. Why do you think the major innovators in the world tend to have been loners at one point. Less people to talk to results in less distraction and more focus on solving the underlying issue.
----
6 years later. Credit score 750+, debt all paid off, worked 6 years in new york, make 6 figures, traveled the world, dated multiple girls since and found a really nice girl that i might consider settling down with.
When I was a child and into my late teens, I was a nationally ranked swimmer. Broke many records, written about in local papers and recruited by highschools and even some colleges as a freshman. I'm an introvert so was not social outside my group of friends, but people would always come talk to me. Other swimmers, parents, other team coaches, etc. I even had girls from swim clubs from other states create fan clubs and cheer for me. Was weird and definitely didn't know how to deal with that as a teen. As I lost interest in swimming and started to decline from nationally ranked to top in the state, alot of this attention slowly went away.
Naturally, as a gifted athlete, I was also horrible in school and got into alot of fights. I barely got into college (2.25 highschool GPA) and barely graduated college (2.3 GPA.....was 1.75 at one point). I graduated in 09 post great recession of 07-08 and crappy GPA. I had a horrific breakup with the girl I thought I was going to marry which devastated me. I was initially complaining to my friends about my crazy ex, and my friends were tired of hearing about it until she came back into my life only for me to catch her sleeping with a new boyfriend 3 days after our break-up. She tried to get back with me but I just ignored her. I went into PTSD, lost 20lbs in one week and did not speak for a month. As I was recovering, I got into a fight with my parents and left home at 23 with no job and no where to live. I lived at a friends place and my cousins house swapping my living situation on and off. I had the cops issue a warrant for my arrest for a fight I got into before I left my house. I had no money and had to cash in all my coins to bail myself out of jail. I called all my friends but they were tired of hearing me wine about my ex that they stopped answering my calls. Even my own cousin who is like a sister to me and left me live at her home inplace of chores, thought I had too high hopes of getting a job in new york. Not to mention all my credit cards were maxed and cell phone cut off from overdue payments.
Look at scenario 1 and scenario 2.
Scenario 1 - Everyone wants to be around the winner, the positivity, excitement. H3ll, I even had a fan club. I was so busy giving everyone just a few seconds of my time, everyone had to fight just to talk to me (exaggerated but you get the point).
Scenario 2 - No one wants to be around a debbie downer, it's draining, sad, and I had to fight just for someone to talk to me.
---
Lesson - nobody gives a sh1t about what you're going through. Everyone has their own demons, they don't want more things to worry about and another person to take care of. Everyone wants to be part of something exciting, uplifting, motivational, etc.
Deal with your own problems. Accept the fact that nobody will want to hear you complain. When there's no one left to complain to, you start to focus all your time on solving the problem such as lack of job. Why do you think the major innovators in the world tend to have been loners at one point. Less people to talk to results in less distraction and more focus on solving the underlying issue.
----
6 years later. Credit score 750+, debt all paid off, worked 6 years in new york, make 6 figures, traveled the world, dated multiple girls since and found a really nice girl that i might consider settling down with.