Being bad mouthed by former one-itis

[shyguy208]

I recently decided to eliminate a former one-itis from my life as much as possible. We work for the same firm but currently at different locations (only need to see her about once a month for meetings). We were in the friendzone before but she was taking advantage by using me and generally just being a *****.

Told her that I have had enough of her and that we would no longer be friends because we weren't really friends anyway. This girl puts out this image to all our other colleagues that she is really sweet and innocent and a great person. But i know what she really is and in my opinion she is quite a major wh0re/slapper.

To get to the point, I have been away from work for a couple of weeks. I know that one of the other girls from work has met up with *****y former one-itis while I have been away. Today when trying to just strike up random convo with this girl and another, I noticed that there was something odd about their general attitude / behaviour towards me. I don't know how to describe it but it was definitely negative. Now nobody at work knows about what has been going on between one-itis and me (it was just between us or so i thought).

I get the feeling that *****y former one-itis may have been telling a few little lies about me behind my back to make me look bad. I guess she may be afraid that I will expose her and shatter her little innocent girl image so she thought that she would get a pre-emptive strike in first. I wasn't planning to crash her little show anyway.

I don't know what has been said about me so can neither deny it or defend myself against it. My initial thoughts are that I should just ignore it because I have absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I haven't done anything wrong or bad. If people at work want to judge from only the words of a silly cow then there isn't too much I can do about it other than stand tall and not let it break my self respect (not give a crap about what others think of me and just know what I am).

Do any of you have any advice on such a situation or have any of you been in similar situations?

 

[SamePendo]

Time will bring her down.

Originally posted by shyguy208
My initial thoughts are that I should just ignore it because I have absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I haven't done anything wrong or bad. If people at work want to judge from only the words of a silly cow then there isn't too much I can do about it other than stand tall and not let it break my self respect (not give a crap about what others think of me and just know what I am).

Exactly, do that. With time, people WILL see her for what she is. She only has words, and you have actions.
In either case, why do you want to be around people who believe anything anyone says?

 

[WatchMeWalk]

I've been in the same situation myself. Except in my case, the ***** upped the ante by encouraging her boyfriend to mess with me. Now, I don't care what a conceited h0 thinks of me, but when she tries skullduggery like that, she's playing a dangerous game.
I settled the matter by intimidating her boyfriend in front of her. That's her taste in men, BTW, pretty on the outside, jelly on the inside.

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by shyguy208
Told her that I have had enough of her and that we would no longer be friends because we weren't really friends anyway.

This, my friend, is where you f@cked up, royally.
At at WORK of all places!

"Telling her off" only confirms in her mind what she already thought of you. A classier move would have been to have simply avoided her, except for the occasional business meeting. No need to make a scene.

Originally posted by shyguy208
This girl puts out this image to all our other colleagues that she is really sweet and innocent and a great person. But i know what she really is and in my opinion she is quite a major wh0re/slapper.

What does that have to do with you? Why should you care? Aren't you supposed to be over her?

Originally posted by shyguy208
To get to the point, I have been away from work for a couple of weeks. I know that one of the other girls from work has met up with *****y former one-itis while I have been away. Today when trying to just strike up random convo with this girl and another, I noticed that there was something odd about their general attitude / behaviour towards me. I don't know how to describe it but it was definitely negative. Now nobody at work knows about what has been going on between one-itis and me (it was just between us or so i thought).

Ah! Such are the risks when you get involved with a woman from work. If you fail with one of them, you've essentially failed with all of them.

Originally posted by shyguy208
I don't know what has been said about me so can neither deny it or defend myself against it. My initial thoughts are that I should just ignore it because I have absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I haven't done anything wrong or bad. If people at work want to judge from only the words of a silly cow then there isn't too much I can do about it other than stand tall and not let it break my self respect (not give a crap about what others think of me and just know what I am).

Do any of you have any advice on such a situation or have any of you been in similar situations?

You've basically answered your own question. But I will say that by making a scene and telling her off, you instantly ruined your chances with her and practically every other woman at work who she associates with.

Shyguy, its time to start looking for places other than your job to find dates. And try to handle rejection a little better next time, will ya?

Learn from your mistakes and hang in there,

Survivor