Being a 'nice guy'

[Wilove]

hells yeah....

so i've been on such a roll lately.

This year, 2008, I've had sooo much utter success with women it's been pretty damn insane.

When I started getting into this game I had a low self-esteem and was super shy around girls.

I had a negative approach towards women... I'd act like a ****y-funny douchebag...like I'd constantly feel the need to play games (well i still play games, but it's from a good frame), I'd try to manipulate, I'd try to bring the girl's frame down, etc. I thought I had to do a bunch of STUFF to win the girl over...

But when you come full circle you can return to your 'nice guy' roots

It's about having value. I have value because I am a positive, fun guy with good intentions.

The girls in my life see this immediately and I can be as nice as I want (without being needy of course)

 

[Canadian Catnip]

I can relate to the full circle thing myself as well. I started out with games and routines and lots of fake stuff to get by. Now I am relaxed and at ease in my own skin.

I think these days, I'm not out to impress anyone, if they like me great, if not, too bad for them. I like being nice to people, it makes me feel good inside and thats why I do it.

A smile and a "how's it going" doesn't cost me a cent and it makes me feel good inside. Plus it's the BEST way I have found to help myself get over my shyness.

I never felt good being a funny guy trying to neg women when I used to do it.

Good post man.

 

[aix237]

I dont know. I act c0cky and confident to girls. they just sense it even i have never said a word to them. I attract them espically the AW's I usually am the "chosen one" by them lol. They always say you think youre too good and your stuck up then i say something c0cky then theyre like well can you come over? haha. But regardless AW or not if i come off as nice from the get go im already out. Ive had girls say you seem like a push over etc. when I just act nice to them from the beginning (dont have immediate interest in them). My best results are when i act like a d1ck. then i turn off the d1ck get to my nice guy mode then there interest is gone. guess thats for the beginning of any relationship for me. I wish i could be a nice guy from the get go but it doesnt work like that espically for me.

 

[aix237]

I dont know. I act c0cky and confident to girls. they just sense it even i have never said a word to them. I attract them espically the AW's I usually am the "chosen one" by them lol. They always say you think youre too good and your stuck up then i say something c0cky then theyre like well can you come over? haha. But regardless AW or not if i come off as nice from the get go im already out. Ive had girls say you seem like a push over etc. when I just act nice to them from the beginning (dont have immediate interest in them). My best results are when i act like a d1ck. then i turn off the d1ck get to my nice guy mode then there interest is gone. guess thats for the beginning of any relationship for me. I wish i could be a nice guy from the get go but it doesnt work like that espically for me.

 

[SinJester]

No you don't sound like a 'nice guy', you sounds like a DJ!

I know what you mean. I've basically done that myself. Once you are attractive enough you can get away with anything. All these 'tricks' and 'tactics' are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding how attraction works.

When you started out I bet you didn't have much success because you had low self-esteem and right from the start you were putting her on a pedestal by trying to win her over, display lower value. When you no longer feel the need to do that your success will skyrocket.

When you aren't trying to win her over or get something from her, you can be nice, because it comes from a place of being sincere, you are just being yourself. It is from this place that attraction is most likely to form, real attraction for the real you, not your games and tricks.

The thing is I think everyone has to do this full circle. When you start out you can't understand what you are talking about. You need to go and try new things, get out of your comfort zone, get rid of bad habits and learn a bit about attraction. I am a fairly nice guy without being a 'nice guy', yet I'm still c/f a lot of the time, the thing is for me it isn't a tactic, it's part of who I am! I'm sure most people here will eventually come to a realisation like you have.

Thanks for coming here and posting this. It's stuff like this that really seems uplifting.