"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Being A Jerk

Juice09

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Occasionally when I'm trying to be ****y and funny, I end up sounding like a ****. I was talking to an older female today, around 19-20, and as the conversation is progressing, she tells me she's a manager at an aquarium. I respond "who would make YOU a manager, they must be insane." In a split second I realized that there was nothing funny about that comment, it was just mean. She tells me "that was mean" and "why would you say that?"

What do you do in these situations?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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CaptainJ

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Smile.
 

MisterMcGee

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Smile, bite your lower lip and widen your eyes to communicate "haha burn!"
 

Stblack

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If that is mean, I must be a gigantic a-hole. It was a joke. You should've been smiling while saying it. If you were and she still was offended, tell her to lighten up.
 

It's-Me

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Juice09 said:
Occasionally when I'm trying to be ****y and funny, I end up sounding like a ****. I was talking to an older female today, around 19-20, and as the conversation is progressing, she tells me she's a manager at an aquarium. I respond "who would make YOU a manager, they must be insane." In a split second I realized that there was nothing funny about that comment, it was just mean. She tells me "that was mean" and "why would you say that?"

What do you do in these situations?
Your obviously not doing it right...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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jdon23

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That only works if you do it with a big grin on your face. If you do it seriously, she will think your a straight up *******
 

TheEnergizer

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yeah work on your delivery and tone.. i think your being to serious about it and some of the seriousness rubs off on her and suddenly shes serious over a tiny joke.

or maybe it was her who knows
 

Crazy Asian

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what you said was not over the line.
how you projected it or whatever mood she was in a off.
obviously smile and play with her a bit (like poke her) when you say it.
some girls are just sensitive like that tho.
if that's the case, just tone it down for her maybe, but keep doing ur thing.
 

Daniel1099

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that was good, but everybody is right you probably presented it bad.

#1 thing is...

You should never think about ****y Funny jokes...

through out my day i do it so often i dont even realize half the time im doin ****y funny jokes...

i throw some at my teachers, my friends, principal, and ofcourse the females...

if she said "that was mean" say something like " HAHA you know im playin...LOOK AT YOU...you sure make one FINE ASS Manager" hahahaha...

thats pretty much it bro


- D.T
 

War Against Betaism

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When I first listened to David DeAngelo's seminar about being ****y and funny, I was just waiting for opportunities to start spitting ****y and funny lines. In his newsletters he says "Lots of guys come up to me and ask me, 'how come I'm coming off as a jackass?' Well, maybe because you're not funny!" I thought to myself, pft like hell I'm going to be like those failures. Spoke too soon (almost TOO soon). I got burned really badly, got cussed out like hell from this girl I just met and I cried...yes I cried, I was like "Why the fvck doesn't this sh1t work for me!"

Over the years I've learned that I've always been ****y and funny, it needs to come up from the spot. What I used to do was spend nights in front of my computer with wordpad opened just thinking of ****y and funny lines to say. I was wasting my time, reality doesn't play out like a Japanese dating sim, there are trillions of different variations of things to say that the only way you can become the ultimate ****y and funny comedian out there is if you dedicated your life to memorizing the best lines to use at every single possible situation.

****y and funny jokes don't have to be absolutely hilarious, I actually like to think of it more as ****y and playful. Like others have said before the projection is much more important then what you actually say. Smiling, and even kino would have helped you in your situation, like a little punch on the shoulder. Note that you literally don't punch her, in fact you don't punch her at all. Just softly brush your knuckle against her shoulder and rub it off, like in this video except without the fail:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpC5_RQeG7Q&feature=related

Actually in my signature, click on kino and there's a seminar going into detail about kino and actually provides various kino techniques.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Juice09

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War Against Betaism said:
When I first listened to David DeAngelo's seminar about being ****y and funny, I was just waiting for opportunities to start spitting ****y and funny lines. In his newsletters he says "Lots of guys come up to me and ask me, 'how come I'm coming off as a jackass?' Well, maybe because you're not funny!" I thought to myself, pft like hell I'm going to be like those failures. Spoke too soon (almost TOO soon). I got burned really badly, got cussed out like hell from this girl I just met and I cried...yes I cried, I was like "Why the fvck doesn't this sh1t work for me!"

Over the years I've learned that I've always been ****y and funny, it needs to come up from the spot. What I used to do was spend nights in front of my computer with wordpad opened just thinking of ****y and funny lines to say. I was wasting my time, reality doesn't play out like a Japanese dating sim, there are trillions of different variations of things to say that the only way you can become the ultimate ****y and funny comedian out there is if you dedicated your life to memorizing the best lines to use at every single possible situation.

****y and funny jokes don't have to be absolutely hilarious, I actually like to think of it more as ****y and playful. Like others have said before the projection is much more important then what you actually say. Smiling, and even kino would have helped you in your situation, like a little punch on the shoulder. Note that you literally don't punch her, in fact you don't punch her at all. Just softly brush your knuckle against her shoulder and rub it off, like in this video except without the fail:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpC5_RQeG7Q&feature=related

Actually in my signature, click on kino and there's a seminar going into detail about kino and actually provides various kino techniques.
Yeah, I definitely understand what you're saying. Thanks for all the advice guys.
 
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