Being a Don Juan comes at a price

[Murk]

I've become desensitised to feelings and emotions and one minute really care about a girl then next minute feel nothing.

I escalate quickly and sex on the first or second date is common. Then I want to move on. My ex I banged first night and we continued seeing each other and jumped into an LTR.

Now I feel more cautious and guarded re my feelings. Prob for the best, if a genuine rocket comes along I will snap her up. The rest, as the scottish say, can get tae fvck

 

[btownbuck2012]

You can't just turn this red pill sh1t off unfortunately. At the same time, it's barely even red pill knowledge it's just flauting their harem in your face while eating their cake to by throwing themselves at you emotionally/verbally. Even the most "ethical slvt" does this (and then whines to her gfs about "why is he so attached?") It is absolutely crazy.

I think unless you can learn to enjoy the deception and never get attached then you are SOL in this game. I have this mental block where I absolutely can't stand the thought of her thinking she is playing me, because there is no mutual respect on which to build a relationship there, yet I am supposed to let myself be played, pretend I'm not, and eventually go exclusive with this player who is chuckling to herself the whole time. Meanwhile I'm supposed to feel better about that bc I spin plates with 1/4 the efficacy she does.

Yeah it's a major turn off for me. I can't even pursue women anymore when I pickup this vibe from them. The entitled, play by her rules and I'm just another notch in her rotation vibe is very off putting for me to the point where I can't even feel any lust or attraction for her.

 

[Roober]

@BeExcellent and @guru1000 summed it up pretty well. This transformation is a journey, not a destination. Nobody ever truly becomes a Don Juan, maybe on their death bed when they have obtained all of their assets, their family is intact, and they can die with no regrets.

We are social creatures, men and women, and driven towards relationships. It is an innate part of our biology that drives many physiological processes within our own bodies and causes such strong emotions.

There are essentially stages to this journey going from beta to don juan. The issue I see is that men get stuck. They reach the point of abundance and are never able to move beyond that. This could happen due to a variety of reasons, and almost none of them are external. It happens from validation of dating beautiful women, the gratification of sexual promiscuity, selfish conviction to their purpose, there are too many to list.

Then a man needs to move beyond that stage to become selfless, compassionate, and act with integrity. However, many will stay there because it is intoxicating and their poor experiences with women that they helped create have left them bitter and angry with everyone but themselves.

Many many men never reach the abundance stage and thus marry low quality women, often the first one they gain access to. This is further propagated by the increase of single moms (ie. deadbeat dads) and the complete lack of strong male role models for young men.

 

[Curious321]

Okay I have a question as a newbie. It seems though the guys on this thread seem very experienced so here goes...

Im 23, good financial job, good hobbies and enjoy weekends with my friends. I would easily say I am a good looking guy and stand at 6'1, slim build (working on getting bigger). I've only had one relationship ( 9/10 months) which ended on my terms but still was a bad break up. Before this Ive never really been in an intimate relation with a girl ( im thinking some form of social anxiety or whatever) Nonetheless, Ive always been socially okay but my social status is not very strong and I was the class clown in school and the average guy during college. I've been reading the DJ bible and other material to remove my AFC mindset but I have always been a very driven man with much bigger ambitions in life. My problem is I dont seem to attract many women naturally and I want to get to the status of the OP on this post. At least for a while. Now that I have a job, social life is a lot more difficult.

I want to know of there is still a chance for me at this stage or if im too late/old? I detest a man who settles for less just out of desperation and I am willing to make the necessary changes. Self improvement are all well and good but that does not equate to being good with women. I want to be able to spin plates but dont really know where/how to start?

Any of you guys in a similar situation before things changed?

Would be great to get some advice.

 

[backseatjuan]

in my opinion there are benefits to not escalating quickly if you want to get into a long-term relationship with a chick....

Isn’t this the same thing as saying - I will not have sex with you on first date woman, you can not sck my dck on first date woman, b cause I want SERIOUS relationship.