"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Begining to know myself
- Thread starter Pozitron
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
-1- Not taking things so seriously
I've spent a couple of hours with some 12 graders at a course and I realized something.
I should just CHILL. I shouldn't take all of this so seriously. Many times we are talking about girls. Omg! Girls. Girls are not scary or incredible mean(usually). They will not tell everyone if you showed interest for her or kinoed her. They will not kill you or harm you physically( talking in general. hehe). They're just girls.
For some time I looked at this as if it was rocket science.
Nope, wrong. It's a game. I play it. You play it. Why? Just for the sake of it.
I should just have fun with it. It should be enjoyable.
Damn, we're in HS. We should chill, just live everyday till bedtime, have fun and enjoy.
What does all this have to do with the beginning? Well, I saw joy and authenticity. They were just there, feeling good. No more, no less. They didn't know all this ****. I'm almost sure many of them don't need it.
Example: You also realize that things with girls are just another part of your life and you shouldn't make a big deal out of it when you see the contrast between this "problem"(it's not a problem, just a matter of editing yourself -nice Nino-) and other problems such as illness. It's maybe not the best example , but I lived it. I was ill ( not that bad) and I just saw the real importance of all this back then. That stayed with me.
All this should help you, not bring you more problems or unwanted thoughts or complicated situation. I think this is made to make your life better. I'll let it, but form now I started to be just more open and chill about it. I'm living and enjoying the process of change. My change...
I've spent a couple of hours with some 12 graders at a course and I realized something.
I should just CHILL. I shouldn't take all of this so seriously. Many times we are talking about girls. Omg! Girls. Girls are not scary or incredible mean(usually). They will not tell everyone if you showed interest for her or kinoed her. They will not kill you or harm you physically( talking in general. hehe). They're just girls.
For some time I looked at this as if it was rocket science.
Nope, wrong. It's a game. I play it. You play it. Why? Just for the sake of it.
I should just have fun with it. It should be enjoyable.
Damn, we're in HS. We should chill, just live everyday till bedtime, have fun and enjoy.
What does all this have to do with the beginning? Well, I saw joy and authenticity. They were just there, feeling good. No more, no less. They didn't know all this ****. I'm almost sure many of them don't need it.
Example: You also realize that things with girls are just another part of your life and you shouldn't make a big deal out of it when you see the contrast between this "problem"(it's not a problem, just a matter of editing yourself -nice Nino-) and other problems such as illness. It's maybe not the best example , but I lived it. I was ill ( not that bad) and I just saw the real importance of all this back then. That stayed with me.
All this should help you, not bring you more problems or unwanted thoughts or complicated situation. I think this is made to make your life better. I'll let it, but form now I started to be just more open and chill about it. I'm living and enjoying the process of change. My change...
To be continued
I'm feeling like I get closer and closer to my core and starting to know myself on a deeper level. I'll explain later when I'll also talk about: starting, things that have always been there and what I call : surface confidence/ delusional confidence.
All of this happen to me. It's not a theory or a philosophy of life anymore. It's life. It's what I face. It's how I evolve.
I'm feeling like I get closer and closer to my core and starting to know myself on a deeper level. I'll explain later when I'll also talk about: starting, things that have always been there and what I call : surface confidence/ delusional confidence.
All of this happen to me. It's not a theory or a philosophy of life anymore. It's life. It's what I face. It's how I evolve.
Nino-Tk
Master Don Juan
Thats more like it Pozitron, im loving it haha! Looking forward to reading some more of your findings.
Its good because, you remember your own philosophies better than other peoples. Keep it up man!
Its good because, you remember your own philosophies better than other peoples. Keep it up man!
Finding my core (1)
"Confidence"
I don't want confidence anymore. Don't get me wrong. I believe I'll get what people call "confidence" and "Self-esteem" in time, while I find more about my true self. Vague? Let me explain...
It seems that for all these years I had on some level or areas confidence. I still do : for ex: in physical activities such as running I believe I'm good and I am confident, no doubt about it. BUT,
I now see that I always have a -surface confidence- or what I now call -delusional confidence-.
It's delusional because it kept me in my comfort zone and away form becoming better because it gave me the feeling that I already am better. It was a ILLUSION.
I now discover that I was not accepting myself and embracing me ( not saying that I've already done that, but I evolve).
- I thought I'm OK with touching girls and I'm not that comfortable yet. However, I started and I'll tell you about it later.
- I find that I'm not that good at holding eye contact. Is this because I may be afraid of others seeing my true self? ( what do you think?). I started to do something about it. Later
- I was not comfortable at all with taking photos. Not having any avatar photo in general. Maybe scared on some lever of how others perceive me?
See? Those were always there, but I may have considered them not a big deal or not even known about them consciously. Awkward.
"Confidence"
I don't want confidence anymore. Don't get me wrong. I believe I'll get what people call "confidence" and "Self-esteem" in time, while I find more about my true self. Vague? Let me explain...
It seems that for all these years I had on some level or areas confidence. I still do : for ex: in physical activities such as running I believe I'm good and I am confident, no doubt about it. BUT,
I now see that I always have a -surface confidence- or what I now call -delusional confidence-.
It's delusional because it kept me in my comfort zone and away form becoming better because it gave me the feeling that I already am better. It was a ILLUSION.
I now discover that I was not accepting myself and embracing me ( not saying that I've already done that, but I evolve).
- I thought I'm OK with touching girls and I'm not that comfortable yet. However, I started and I'll tell you about it later.
- I find that I'm not that good at holding eye contact. Is this because I may be afraid of others seeing my true self? ( what do you think?). I started to do something about it. Later
- I was not comfortable at all with taking photos. Not having any avatar photo in general. Maybe scared on some lever of how others perceive me?
See? Those were always there, but I may have considered them not a big deal or not even known about them consciously. Awkward.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Girls are Girls
So yeah... this is a big truth for me at least...
Why?
Well, when I found this site I started to read all these articles. Then I came across the forum and read the book of Pook ( i am reading it again since back there I wasn't able to grasp all it's greatness, but now I see it more clearly). A lot of advice was addressed to "nice guys" and people that usually put women on a pedestal or consider her her a goddess.
My big mistake: I TREATED A PROBLEM THAT WASN'T THERE. And yes, now I regret it and I try to change it. I'm glad I realized it now and not later ( if you truly listed to other people you find out a lot).
What am I talking about?
I think I'm perceived by some girl friends in my class as being aggressive. Don't get me wrong, not that kind of agressive... . I may have became jerkish. And yeah.. that's bad .
I applied the advice wrong. I didn't need all that advice because that kind of problem wasn't characteristic to me.
OK so what have I been doing till now ( and maybe now also because I need some time to change - just realizing the problem)? I may have been treating girls like guys. I had rough kino ( "violent"- like with guys... ok maybe not like that, but close anyway). I wasn't acting like a gentleman anymore because I thought that I was being too nice. WRONG. So wrong. Just wrong, at least in my case. ( I'll talk about things that fit you in other post)
What I realized: Girls are girls. No more, no less. Treat them as such. You can't treat guys and girls the same. I know this sounds like common sense or basic, but as I says, this is what I face.
Things about girls:
-- I will stop swearing or talking that when they're around( not really cared till now) - they really don't like it ( they think you're just showing off)
-- I will adapt my kino. ( that was one of the problems) -( they're kind of sensitive)
-- What I've noticed is that even though they don't seem attentive, girls are very good listeners.
So for me... simply: girls are girls. Treat them as such.
So yeah... this is a big truth for me at least...
Why?
Well, when I found this site I started to read all these articles. Then I came across the forum and read the book of Pook ( i am reading it again since back there I wasn't able to grasp all it's greatness, but now I see it more clearly). A lot of advice was addressed to "nice guys" and people that usually put women on a pedestal or consider her her a goddess.
My big mistake: I TREATED A PROBLEM THAT WASN'T THERE. And yes, now I regret it and I try to change it. I'm glad I realized it now and not later ( if you truly listed to other people you find out a lot).
What am I talking about?
I think I'm perceived by some girl friends in my class as being aggressive. Don't get me wrong, not that kind of agressive... . I may have became jerkish. And yeah.. that's bad .
I applied the advice wrong. I didn't need all that advice because that kind of problem wasn't characteristic to me.
OK so what have I been doing till now ( and maybe now also because I need some time to change - just realizing the problem)? I may have been treating girls like guys. I had rough kino ( "violent"- like with guys... ok maybe not like that, but close anyway). I wasn't acting like a gentleman anymore because I thought that I was being too nice. WRONG. So wrong. Just wrong, at least in my case. ( I'll talk about things that fit you in other post)
What I realized: Girls are girls. No more, no less. Treat them as such. You can't treat guys and girls the same. I know this sounds like common sense or basic, but as I says, this is what I face.
Things about girls:
-- I will stop swearing or talking that when they're around( not really cared till now) - they really don't like it ( they think you're just showing off)
-- I will adapt my kino. ( that was one of the problems) -( they're kind of sensitive)
-- What I've noticed is that even though they don't seem attentive, girls are very good listeners.
So for me... simply: girls are girls. Treat them as such.
Uniqueness
As I said, I'll talk a little about something I find really important.
That's why I made that mistake. Because I took a information without judging it from my own perspective. I was a robot. I'm now trying to be a human. This all stuff can do both good and bad to you.
My point is this: Find what works for you.
Everyone is different. The environment he lives in is different, his culture, his name, his personality.... a whole lot. People on this site try to help and post about things that have worked for them and helped them. No doubt so things apply to all of us, but one should....
...Take everything with a grain of salt ( actually I think Norwegian said this before).
So find what works for you. Create your style. Discover yourself. Find your own answers.
As I said, I'll talk a little about something I find really important.
That's why I made that mistake. Because I took a information without judging it from my own perspective. I was a robot. I'm now trying to be a human. This all stuff can do both good and bad to you.
My point is this: Find what works for you.
Everyone is different. The environment he lives in is different, his culture, his name, his personality.... a whole lot. People on this site try to help and post about things that have worked for them and helped them. No doubt so things apply to all of us, but one should....
...Take everything with a grain of salt ( actually I think Norwegian said this before).
So find what works for you. Create your style. Discover yourself. Find your own answers.
Don't dream, go for it!
I'm not saying now to use your imagination. I can give you perspective and even confidence, but be carefully. I keep saying this, but it's important: Finding a BALANCE is really what is all about.
Like the song goes: " I can dream, but life won't work that way" (or something like that).
Don't dream. Go make it happen.
Dreams ( as most things can be good and bad.
I think they gave me the illusion that I have already done/ had something. Therefor, I didn't act.
OK so I find it more usefully to just go with it. Just do it. Thinking is not natural anyway. As Pook sais: Rejection is much better than regret. Perfect is boring. Be light and have fun with it. If you "fail" you have the opportunity to learn. If you choose to learn from your failures then you EVOLVE and the chances that you will fail next time are lower.
You will forever remember your lesson because it comes not from reading some post, but from 1 st hand experience. You lived it!
Example: I will just apply this to girls. I would say: Work on girls when you're with them. That's when you can actually evolve or get better at it and have results. Thinking 5 h about how to get a girl is just a waste of time. Live in the moment and focus on the task in hand.
I'm not saying now to use your imagination. I can give you perspective and even confidence, but be carefully. I keep saying this, but it's important: Finding a BALANCE is really what is all about.
Like the song goes: " I can dream, but life won't work that way" (or something like that).
Don't dream. Go make it happen.
Dreams ( as most things can be good and bad.
I think they gave me the illusion that I have already done/ had something. Therefor, I didn't act.
OK so I find it more usefully to just go with it. Just do it. Thinking is not natural anyway. As Pook sais: Rejection is much better than regret. Perfect is boring. Be light and have fun with it. If you "fail" you have the opportunity to learn. If you choose to learn from your failures then you EVOLVE and the chances that you will fail next time are lower.
You will forever remember your lesson because it comes not from reading some post, but from 1 st hand experience. You lived it!
Example: I will just apply this to girls. I would say: Work on girls when you're with them. That's when you can actually evolve or get better at it and have results. Thinking 5 h about how to get a girl is just a waste of time. Live in the moment and focus on the task in hand.
Advice?
Ok so here's a thing.
I am a kind of person that can conciously realise all this stuff, but doesn't really do something about it. It's like: I try something for a short time, but then I go back on default mode, into my old habits.
What to do about this?
Ok so here's a thing.
I am a kind of person that can conciously realise all this stuff, but doesn't really do something about it. It's like: I try something for a short time, but then I go back on default mode, into my old habits.
What to do about this?
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,553
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- 83
I've read somewhere about different personality types. Gamblers type, and two others. It was in awaken the giant within. One of the types fit u. Maybe that will help you if you find it.
Personally, I used to (and still on some level) are like that. My advice? Baby steps and a proper plan of improvement. This can take a while if you let it; don't.
Personally, I used to (and still on some level) are like that. My advice? Baby steps and a proper plan of improvement. This can take a while if you let it; don't.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
what do you mean by that?This can take a while if you let it; don't.
Do you remember the chapter?It was in awaken the giant within.
Ok so I think I'll just real all the book anyway. I'll take some time from posting here and I'll focus on making a change based on what it sais. It's just I feel that all this does not make me change as much as I want to and I don't really know what something else I should do.
We seem so smart caught up in all this philosophies , but if we look behind them we see our old ( true) self almost unchanged. These is reflected by our actions. See for yourself.
We seem so smart caught up in all this philosophies , but if we look behind them we see our old ( true) self almost unchanged. These is reflected by our actions. See for yourself.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,553
- Reaction score
- 83
You know you gotta walk the walk.
You know action comes before confidence.
You know what to do.
I'm just asking you to make a plan of action and following it. Beliefs are strengthened by references. Get some good references. You learn based on your perception of your experiences. Now, you must gather experience. You must be somewhat proactive at it, or it will take time. Every little thing counts.
You know action comes before confidence.
You know what to do.
I'm just asking you to make a plan of action and following it. Beliefs are strengthened by references. Get some good references. You learn based on your perception of your experiences. Now, you must gather experience. You must be somewhat proactive at it, or it will take time. Every little thing counts.