Before You Go No Contact Forever - Read This

[That_dude]

Sucks to agree with this but I kinda have to based on a scenario my friend was in.

So there's this girl, HB9, model figure, model face, etc.

She's been exclusively dating a guy since high school so like 6-7 years now and has since gotten married to the guy last year.

Well long story short she was also f*cking my friend on the side while claiming to love this guy she was going to marry.

To this day, the guy has never found out about it.

He's in happy ever after mode with this girl, while she's spinning her own plates.

Hopefully NAWALT lol.

Wow that's a terrible story. Hope she doesn't go home and kiss this guy with crusted up baby batter on her lips..lol I've known a few people in similar situations. It's amazing how scandalous people can be. This is why I'm very hesitant to get married. Sure I'd role the dice for "the one". But If you end up with the wrong chick, you're royally screwed in life

 

[QuadDeuces]

OP is right but you can only do it that way if you have other plates in rotation and an abundance mind state, so you don't really give a **** you've been cheated on.

If your oneitis was snatched away from you because you became a clingy scarcity beta biatch and you are non stop obsessing about her, than no contact is better because it would save you much pain and humiliation.

 

[That_dude]

It all depends on what was done. At the end of the day, you have to respect yourself.

Accepting cheating, disrespect, bad treatment ect.. Isn't being a cool alpha imo

Handling it like a butt hurt loser isn't cool either. Moving on with your life gracefully is the way to go imo. If you have women in abundance, why would you need to keep that on the back burner anyways?

 

[soulforge]

Why fall in love in the first place? That's a mistake

Alot of dudes, don't plan to fall in love.. If your fuking a chick on a regular basis, over a long period of time.. And she is showering you with effection and boosting your ego..

Many guys fall prey to this, and catch FEELS even though they initialy had no intention to do so!

Many relationships start from a Fuk buddy / plate type situation.. Eventually you catch the feels, even fall in love with the girl..

In that type of situation, i believe NC is your only option.. keeping her around will likely bring you fuk loads of pain, never mind the damage that can be done to your self esteem

 

[bnbprodu]

I kind of agree with OP. It's an ex that cheated on me and I dumped on the spot. However, years later we happen to hang out in the same places again. From then on, she kept asking to go out together. Denying her a chance a twice only increased her will to just have s_ex together again. Then she stuck around like a FWB for a couple of years with no hard feelings whatsoever. She still indeed messages me though I moved already to the States. I guess it's all on

 

[Red Legg]

OP is correct. He's simply on a different level to most.

The last time that I went full no-contact on a woman was really just to protect my own arse-ache and ego. And having her on no-contact was really keeping her on a pedestal.

So, what I did was to get a few plates. Work on my abundance. And I really didn't give a sh*t anymore for holding her to any sort of standard different than any other woman.

I decided to get the monkey off my back one night. Try and escalate it to sex, and treat her the same as any other woman in my rotation at the time.

Looked at her Facebook, and then started messaging her. Opening with:

"Why are you being stroppy on facebook, Mrs [Polish name that I purposely mangled for some comedy]?.

Which was a push (something I didn't do enough of in the set prior). She replied (which I didn't expect), we went back and forth, but then she ghosted on my escalation.

And there you were. I was free of it. Never been bothered about her since. Because I finally treated her like a plate, instead of projecting silly white-knight sh*t onto her.

On having a woman do something that greatly displeases you (kiss another guy, or whatever), try this for a completely different dynamic, spank her.

This is the frame of amused mastery. Of a man that is on the level.

The frame of the provider, serial-monogamist, beta, is to "break up with no contact!". Fvck that. That's about protecting your ego.

And if she is truly being an annoying stupid b1tch, then there will be no need for "no-contact", as I haven't needed it in fvcking ages either. You'll actually be naturally done with her, rather than try to pretend you are through playing silly "no-contact" games.

Challenge your inner white-knight, instead of keep coming up with silly ways to protect and nurture it.

Again @deesade you are spot on....All of the chumps here that advocate going NC all the time know not what they speak..I can tell the real DJ's on this forum from the fakes that have only been with a few women,when you have been with many females ( like me) you know the true nature of women and what they are.....You only would go NC if you are emotionally WEAK ,it is to protect yourself only.I never go NC, really..... especially if she is a grade A fvck,why give up stellar pvssy ?? just because she is fvcking another guy ? lol (cry me a river) I am in it for pure enjoyment,and sometimes it's fun to see if you can beat out the other guy..make a game out of it,it's quite fun actually (leave emotion out of it) but watch out emotions can creep in pvssy is a powerful drug.

 

[guru1000]

Again You only would go NC if you are emotionally WEAK ,it is to protect yourself only.I never go NC, really..... especially if she is a grade A fvck,why give up stellar pvssy ??

Point taken, but the glaring counter-position is that the position of "not giving up on stellar puzzy" screams scarcity. Ideally, you should have the ability to attract so many woman that if one "coughs funny," you don't need to consider her at all (not in a ego-preserved, emotional driven NEXT but with indifferent inclination) as you have an army of other women on your beck and call vying for your attention, who will do anything to please and respect you.

The law of abundance demonstrates that you keep your best behaved troopers and discard the rest, as there is neither enough room nor time in your calendar for insubordinates or second-tier women.

 

[That_dude]

You're emotionally weak if you can't let go of a piece of puss. Trying to string a long and old piece of puss, that burned you, isn't the abundance mindset. If she isn't a good person to me or in general.. I just wouldn't want her in my life period.

 

[MrJack]

Again @deesade you are spot on....All of the chumps here that advocate going NC all the time know not what they speak..I can tell the real DJ's on this forum from the fakes that have only been with a few women,when you have been with many females ( like me) you know the true nature of women and what they are.....You only would go NC if you are emotionally WEAK ,it is to protect yourself only.I never go NC, really..... especially if she is a grade A fvck,why give up stellar pvssy ?? just because she is fvcking another guy ? lol (cry me a river) I am in it for pure enjoyment,and sometimes it's fun to see if you can beat out the other guy..make a game out of it,it's quite fun actually (leave emotion out of it) but watch out emotions can creep in pvssy is a powerful drug.

If this is just a plate we are speaking about then yea sure you're right. Why would anyone get mad and NC if she's f*cking others? Haha.

But an exclusive LTR that lasts awhile (which is what we are taking about here) and she cheats? Come on man you gotta have the self respect to leave her behind.

She wouldn't have done that if she actually respected you.

And also when you have true abundance there should be no need to slay that old pvssy ever again because you have all of this new pvssy.

 

[guru1000]

Both sides are partially correct. It should be a NEXT, but not one borne of rage, but of abundance-driven indifference spawn by preference. Same act, different motive.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've never been a fan of NC as a default solution to problems. It projects weakness, as if your feelings are hurt so much you just can't deal with talking to that person. That's how women act.

 

[That_dude]

Anyone who uses NC as a default solution is a loser smh

Anyone who watches there girl take a horse kock to face.. And then kisses butt and tries to keep her around.. Is a loser too imo

I see things more like guru. Have class and don't get all butt hurt. Then move on to better women

 

[guru1000]

But an exclusive LTR that lasts awhile (which is what we are taking about here) and she cheats? Come on man you gotta have the self respect to leave her behind.

She wouldn't have done that if she actually respected you.
.

Deep territory here. It's important to choose your words a/k/a "inner talk" carefully. When you project that she disrespected you and how dare she violate your self-respect, you are operating out of emotional rage when you next her. This is not fruitful as you carry the "weight" of this emotional baggage, not she.

If you choose to interpret it as her simply not meeting your relationship preference with no hard feelings and treat her as you would NEXT a plate you were no longer into, you release the baggage, and she now carries the emotional weight.

Same action, different motivation. The motivation you choose to act upon can be self-serving or serve her.

 

[guru1000]

Does Guru follow the same monogamous relationship expectations that he places on women, though?

IE, he doesn't spin plates within a relationship?

I do in exclusive relations. Despite in my social circles, most of the men cheat on their wives/gfs regularly.

 

[TheProspect]

If you define "no contact" in the sense that you are choosing to no longer go out of your way to reach out to a particular girl who has wasted your time, then I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing. If you are coming out of a LTR, the best thing you can do is NC your ex and start spinning plates in combination with other forms of self-improvement. It is slightly different with plates, I'd agree you shouldn't be so invested in a plate that you have to overreact to her behaviour. But there is a difference between NCing a plate because she's not worth your time and NCing a plate because you over-invested and can't regulate your emotions. Context matters here.

I wouldn't do business with anyone twice if the first time clearly didn't benefit me, and I especially wouldn't do business with the same person twice who fvcked me over in the end the first time. I wouldn't "no contact" that person as a tool, I just wouldn't consider giving them my time, energy, or resources again. Nothing to do with being bitter, protecting ego, or being emotionally weak. It's called knowing better lol.

I wouldn't call it no contact though, in my personal dealings with women, I would just call it keeping my priorities in order. The time and energy you have in a day is limited, no point wasting those resources on trivial women who have already disqualified themselves as being worth your attention.

 

[Red Legg]

Despite in my social circles, most of the men cheat on their wives/gfs regularly.

Then those men are spinning plates (like they should be doing) I guarantee that their wifes/gf's are.

 

[guru1000]

Then you give up your abundance. So you aren't in constant decision mode, re-evaluating her value against others.

She is doing that to you though.

And it's merely a next based on the fact that you got played. And will have to build yourself back up again.

It's all how you perceive it. If I were to perceive it in the way that you describe, specifically "getting played," then my NEXTing would be prompted by rage.

Remember events have little meaning. How we interpret these events matters. There are many interpretations I can paint that would allow me to NEXT with indifference, perhaps even joy.

 

[guru1000]

Then those men are spinning plates (like they should be doing) I guarantee that their wifes/gf's are.

Maybe, maybe not as to their SOs cheating. I personally neither have the time nor care to ascertain whether an exclusive girl is cheating. If I find her cheating, I will happily date the next few hundred women and maybe get into another relation or not. Relationship or no relationship--either way, I'm happy as a pig in shvt.

 

[guru1000]

Whether it's prompted by rage, or whatever is sort of moot.

The outcome is the same: start over.

It never started to begin with. You paint this as if the relationship were a business, and now the business collapsed, and you have to start again. I would look at it as "Great, this relation lasted much longer than I expected. Now I can sex the hundreds of women I want to bang." You view the relationship as the end-all, Disney movie, till death do you part. I look at relationships as temporal arrangements of fun until incompatibility occurs. The difference here are our expectations.

And you aren't nexting from abundance at all, because you sacrificed that for the LTR. Your nexting comes from her not fitting the monogamous frame.

Still operate from an abundance frame, if I can fill her shoes--the same day--with multiple options. The key is not to let yourself go during exclusivity so your ability to accumulate options at the snap of a finger remains easy.

And when you find enough women not fitting your frame, then your frame is simply wrong. Well out of whack with real human nature.

I find that 90%+ of the women who I have vetted prior to exclusivity did not cheat. Now I could be wrong. But I have no personal knowledge, so I can't assume the contrary, nor do I genuinely care.

 

[Red Legg]

Maybe, maybe not as to their SOs cheating

I do not have this kind of faith in women Guru...experience,human nature,other DJ's experience tells me otherwise,I can only make intelligent decisions based on my experience,there are no unicorns.