before-dumping-situation

[Blaaaaat]

What are the signs before you're gettig dumped? Please, post some experiences please.

 

[blong1068]

I thought this was gonna be a question about taking a sh*t.

 

[Blaaaaat]

Hehe, that's funny.

But i've got the feeling my "girlfriend" is going to dump. Not sure, because Im not exprienced with this **** yet. I'm learning.

But what should i do? How to react when she does. Should I dump her before she has the chance to dump me?

pfff, i've got a lot to learn.

 

[gr8one]

lack of interest or attention towards you...lol

that's usually one.....F-it..i dunno....lol

put yourself in her shoes.

 

[Blaaaaat]

How does an DJ react to an rejection? Doe you ask an explanation (try to figure out where you went wrong, for next time) or act like it's no big deal? SOmething like, "to bad it didn't worked out between us, take care".

 

[Monkey]

You can usually tell, theres a awkward feeling between the two of you, things which usually were fun are now forced and just feel wrong.

The best and easiest way to test if a girl is about to dump you is to tell her you think the two of you need some time apart and then judge her reaction.

If she accepts this and agrees then you know, but if shes still into you she'll try anything to stop this.

 

[bp1974]

If you;'ve slowly been getting the feeling that you're about to be dumped, there's at least a 99% chance that you're right. Gut instinct is worth trusting, believe me.

So, ask yourself what do you want? I'm guessing that if you think she's about to dump you then she isn't acting all that great around you right now, so are you happy? No? DO something about it, don't wait to see what she does, because you know what she's going to do.

Don't say anything to her. Don't ask her if things are OK, or if there's a problem. If she is about to dump your a** she'll see it as needy, clingy, and unwanted, and will confirm that she's right to dump you. I'll repeat - DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO HER.

What you do now is pull back, be evasive and unavailable, take some time and space from her. If she asks to see you or what's going on, just tell her your busy and want some time to yourself right now, you'll speak to her soon.

Get her WONDERING about you by not being there as much as you're used to. The last thing you want is for her to be feeling like she's the one making all the choices here. YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES TOO and it's good to let her see that. If she's about to dump you, this is the only thing that may turn her around, although how longterm the change will be who knows. And if she's not about to dump you, it never hurts to have some time for yourself anyhow - she'll appreciate it in the longrun that you don't cling to her, even if she complains.

If she was never going to dump you and wants an explanation, for your withdrawal, you could even say to her you had a feeling she might be drifting away from you, so you decided to take time for yourself to work out what you wanted. This may in turn encourage her to let you know what she was up to - she obviously did something that got you thinking you were on the way out.

bp1974

 

[Blaaaaat]

Well, first three weeks went great. Good sex, fun, etc. We saw eachother 3-5 times a week, slept over etc.
Only this last 1,5 week I haven't seen her. We do exchange mails almost everyday, but not as much as before.
My last three attempts to see each other where blown off, could be legit reasons, could be BS.
I just got a strange feeling she's about to dump my ass and i want to know how to handle this in a DJ way.

 

[bp1974]

I just told you how to handle it. Now stop emailing her. If she never writes back, you know where you stand.

bp1974

 

[Blaaaaat]

Good, that is what is was doing. Thanks for the help.

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

If you feel uncertainty in your relationship with this chick or any chick, than it means that it will head for doom soon...

If I were you I would go to her and tell her that you are dumping her, and if she asks why, then state the reasons for why you are doing this, there is no need to hold any sh*t back.

And if she says something contradicting your doubts of her interest, then test her......

 

[Cremasta]

If the opportunity is still there, give her a good shag.

If she tries to cuddle up to you afterwards, I doubt she wants to leave. If she tries to get as far away from you as possible, or has this 'why the hell did I do that?' look on her face, she probably wants to leave... THEN try any of the conversations already mentioned.

I've seen this a few times just before I get the 'I need some space' or 'I need a break' ****e

 

[bp1974]

Well, first three weeks went great. Good sex, fun, etc. We saw eachother 3-5 times a week, slept over etc.

This is way too much, too soon. If she's backing off from you, it may not be that she wants to dump you, she may just be scared that she's given away too much of herself and is now trying to mend things, take it more slowly, and build something more solid. It could be a good sign if you want an LTR with her.

So I'll amend my advice. Go with the flow - she's backing off, so you do the same, just as I suggested above, but not so militantly.

She may be trying to repair the damage she thinks has been done by you both being too eager. Backing off is still the right thing to do, but without the "I'm gonna dump you first, biotch" attitude that's being touted here.

bp1974

 

[Blaaaaat]

Well, she did mentioned several times that she tought it was all going so fast. It did, 2nd "date" we kissed, and ended up staying at my place (sex).

 

[Blaaaaat]

Just got a joke-email. But in my last e-mail i asked her when she had time to go out. No response on that question.

Not a good sign. I must accept reality and prepare myself to do the "walk-away-without-looking-back" thing... well, first time for everything.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

"Well, first three weeks went great. Good sex, fun, etc. We saw eachother 3-5 times a week, slept over etc."

OR, she just wanted to get her slit filled and now she's off to someone else. 3 weeks does not make a gf.

 

[Blaaaaat]

Hm, she responded to the mail.

This day she is going to drink intown with a old-coworker. She did not know when she had time. She also said we still had to go for a picknick that i once promised, and she will ake a look on the list of "things to do" that we were going to do. (that list is a silly joke thing we had going on).

I just responded with this:
"This weekend I'm staying wih a girlfriend in Den Haag (a city in my country), so it's going be next week.
Let me know, have fun tonight."

I tried to be "unavailable" and let her know that i'm not clingy/needy. Tried a little "jealousy thing", with the "staying with a girlfriend" (which is not lie, she's just a good friend).

 

[OpenMind]

The best thing to do in this situation is nothing. STOP emailing her. Let her come to you. Let her try and contact you at least 3 times before you respond. Telling her that you are busy or "unavailable" is not as powerful as showing her that you are busy and "unavailable". Show her by NOT EMAILING her or calling her. Listen to the other advice the DJ's here are giving you.

 

[hitop]

Blaaaaat - Unique handle I might add,

Looky here, this babe is giving nothing but the classic string along until the bigger and better fish comes along. And I'm shocked and suprised that some fellow DJ's are giving you some bad advice in here. Anytime a woman becomes unavailable to the point where you must accomodate to her schedule, you are already in the AFC zone, a bad place to be.

My last three attempts to see each other where blown off, could be legit reasons, could be BS.

Could be BS? The writing is on the wall, this indicates very low IL at this point.

Well, she did mentioned several times that she tought it was all going so fast.

Red Flag? You guessed right! And congratulations. To sum it all up neatly, this more often than not means that things are going to fast with you. Hey man, you gave it a try and it's not going to go where you want it. It's all good, just move on and find someone who is truly into you.

peace

 

[Helter Skelter]

Whenever I got dump the girl would be mean or nasty for a couple weeks prior to and also not be interested in sex.

As for your situation. sometimes you just need to be there to know for sure so I can't be too sure cause I'm not there, and women are funny creatures.