OnTheWayUp
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2010
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 9
Isn't it strange how our priorities change in the dating scene as we get more experience? 2 years ago, when I first discovered game, I would have killed just for a kiss, let alone a gf. Now I have a loving gf (my first official LTR) who does everything I want her to- and yet I want more.
I am my gf's first proper bf; she's had some experience of hooking up before, but is quite clearly fairly inexperienced when it moves beyond making out. She's 21, very feminine, brunette, and is about a 6-7 depending on make up and clothes. Physically, she's pretty average in terms of what I'm used to (5s-8s, 1 girl I would consider a 9).
Personality-wise, she's very very good. She's intelligent, makes good conversation, makes me laugh. She's feminine, giggles a lot even when my jokes aren't particularly funny. She's displayed a consistently high IL from the first day we hooked up (late November), always rescheduling if she's busy, She is often the one to initiate hook ups and, now that we've progressed from hooking up casually to dating exclusively, more coupley stuff as well. Above all, she is SANE- I've never dated anyone who plays fewer head games. The only negatives I can think of are that she watches too much TV and is very into pop culture.
A good deal then, you might think, all in all. But I want more!
I've been battling with dependency on porn for quite some time. I had managed to give it up entirely back in December-January, but it's come back. It pains me to admit it, but sometimes I enjoy getting myself off in front of a laptop screen more than when I'm with my gf. I don't watch the fakeness which is mainstream porn, mainly amateur girls on webcams. Sure, porn is no substitute for my gf's physical affection, but does it turn me on more? Sometimes, yes.
What bugs me even more is that, whilst I think my gf is really awesome when subjected to a series of SS-inspired rational criteria to judge a girl's LTR-worthiness, the caveman in me is far more attracted to other girls. This is most frustrating when better-looking girls convey IOIs. Today, at a charity event I was organising at uni, there was a blonde 8 who was blatantly flirting with me- in front of her bf. She was completely ignoring her bf, asking me questions and staying close. She will be at a party I am going to on Monday- the party is 2 mins away from my flat. Then there is another blonde 8 who I have had my eye on for a while- every time she sees me she giggles and gives me the "I want you" look when girls lower their eyes. She pretty much invited herself into my appartment block 2 weeks ago, and the SS man inside me regrets not making a move. I'm going on a man holiday to Germany in 3 weeks where there will be more hot, available girls placed in front of me.
In short, my gf does not satisfy me entirely, and I have porn plus plenty of other interested hotter girls potentially available every day. I don't want to leave my gf until I graduate, because 1) work means that I don't have time to go out like I did last year 2) she has an awesome personality for an LTR which I think will be hard to find again and 3) she lives 5 mins away, which is incredibly convenient when you finish a long day's work and just want to get laid with minimal effort.
But am I tempted to use porn and cheat? Absolutely. It's a case of morals vs penis. Help.
I am my gf's first proper bf; she's had some experience of hooking up before, but is quite clearly fairly inexperienced when it moves beyond making out. She's 21, very feminine, brunette, and is about a 6-7 depending on make up and clothes. Physically, she's pretty average in terms of what I'm used to (5s-8s, 1 girl I would consider a 9).
Personality-wise, she's very very good. She's intelligent, makes good conversation, makes me laugh. She's feminine, giggles a lot even when my jokes aren't particularly funny. She's displayed a consistently high IL from the first day we hooked up (late November), always rescheduling if she's busy, She is often the one to initiate hook ups and, now that we've progressed from hooking up casually to dating exclusively, more coupley stuff as well. Above all, she is SANE- I've never dated anyone who plays fewer head games. The only negatives I can think of are that she watches too much TV and is very into pop culture.
A good deal then, you might think, all in all. But I want more!
I've been battling with dependency on porn for quite some time. I had managed to give it up entirely back in December-January, but it's come back. It pains me to admit it, but sometimes I enjoy getting myself off in front of a laptop screen more than when I'm with my gf. I don't watch the fakeness which is mainstream porn, mainly amateur girls on webcams. Sure, porn is no substitute for my gf's physical affection, but does it turn me on more? Sometimes, yes.
What bugs me even more is that, whilst I think my gf is really awesome when subjected to a series of SS-inspired rational criteria to judge a girl's LTR-worthiness, the caveman in me is far more attracted to other girls. This is most frustrating when better-looking girls convey IOIs. Today, at a charity event I was organising at uni, there was a blonde 8 who was blatantly flirting with me- in front of her bf. She was completely ignoring her bf, asking me questions and staying close. She will be at a party I am going to on Monday- the party is 2 mins away from my flat. Then there is another blonde 8 who I have had my eye on for a while- every time she sees me she giggles and gives me the "I want you" look when girls lower their eyes. She pretty much invited herself into my appartment block 2 weeks ago, and the SS man inside me regrets not making a move. I'm going on a man holiday to Germany in 3 weeks where there will be more hot, available girls placed in front of me.
In short, my gf does not satisfy me entirely, and I have porn plus plenty of other interested hotter girls potentially available every day. I don't want to leave my gf until I graduate, because 1) work means that I don't have time to go out like I did last year 2) she has an awesome personality for an LTR which I think will be hard to find again and 3) she lives 5 mins away, which is incredibly convenient when you finish a long day's work and just want to get laid with minimal effort.
But am I tempted to use porn and cheat? Absolutely. It's a case of morals vs penis. Help.
