Been LJBF'ed by her and yet she keeps flirting

[B9]

personally, I don't get this vilification of women. If you think they are such machiavellian creatures, then you have the freedom to not involve yourself with them.

There are plenty of of guys I think are Fvcked in the head. I chose to not involve myself with such people, so as to avoud myself the headache. No need to place any blame, they are free to live their lives the way they want.

If, knowing the nature of women, you still choose to invovle yourself with them like this, then surely you have to accept the responsibility for this. Don't see any need to place any blame on women for any misery inflicted upon yourself.

 

[Tantric]

Originally posted by DJDamage
quote:
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Originally posted by Skweints
believe a lot of this stuff is true, however, I think everybody should realize that women do this on a subconcious level. It's not like they wake up one morning and decide "Oh, I'm gonna use men to make myself feel better."
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That is an excuse for bad behaviour. Some women and especially the attension wh0ores often act like a naive child in a relationship where she is always the victim when things go bad but never take any responsibility for their actions.

I agree what alot of the times, its the guy fault with the AFC mindset that he puts himself out there by giving her attention and security in hope of getting sex. If he knew the rules of attractions he would know that being a friend with a chick will most likely lead him nowhere and he is just an emotional tampon to her.

However, that does not excuse the woman herself. Women know that you are sticking around because you like her and she is giving you postive feedbacks that there might be a chance with the two of you. That positive feedback is translating through the act of Flirting. Nature intended flirting behaviour to emmulate interest to develop sexual chemistry in order for sex to occur in a later stage.

However if a woman is flirting with you, she already know deep down if she is going to sleep with you or not and if that's the case she is giving you FAKE FLIRTING signals and as a result a man gets confused from the friendship.

Its much more harder to prove a woman taking advantage of man as oppose to a man taking advantage of a woman.

GREAT POST!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

B9: I would have to at least half-way agree with you and SKWEINTS post. I'm of the opinion that women learn to perfect flirting to get what they want from childhood and pre-pubescence, and some have done this so often and to such a desired effect that it becomes an unconscious process. It's become a default for them and nowhere is this more pronounced than in strippers who literally make a living from being so successful at it. If you asked them if they got up in the morning, looked in the mirror and said to themselves, "I think I'll go use my flirtatious potential and sex appeal to turn a buck today" they'd say 'no', but that doesn't mean at some level they're not cognizant of their actions. It just becomes such a staple technique for them that they don't think about it.

That's the overexhaggerated illustration of course, but take this dynamic into the real world where you guys are dating and it's easy to see how a chick can get you to hold her purse while she goes to the bathroom and, like a good AFC, you'll stand there like a dork because she's perfected her technique to the point where you think she'll fvck you if you do since all the indicators were there.

I find it interesting that if a woman does flirt to get what she wants and ends up feeling obligated or pressured into having sex with a guy it's called 'date-rape', but if the guy is led on all night, does 'everything but', and goes home with blue-balls and a lighter wallet it's not called 'date-fraud'.

But you are correct, the oness is on the guy and and this is one thing that perpetuates AFCness when a guy never makes the connection that INFLUENCE is a woman's agency.

 

[Skweints]

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
See:

The guy is ignorant and naive.
The girl is insecure and manipulative.

Who's to blame? The guy or the girl? [/B]

That's a damn good point, Blue Phoenix. Depends on the situation, really. I assumed that since everybody reading this site SHOULD know better, that when they post pissed off posts about how they were used or whatever, it's really their own fault. Then again, we all need a place to vent, I guess.

To anybody reading this post right now who thinks I'm crazy for believe that some females flirt to get what they want on a subconsious level, by thinking this way, I'm destined to fail with women for the rest of my life? What does it matter how I view WHY the way they do what they do? All that matters is the fact that I won't put up with it. Sure, I'll hold a females purse while she goes to the bathroom... IF she's a friend. Otherwise, I'll usually look at 'em crazy or something... Don't get me confused, I'm not a woman-hater because I believe they think this way. Sometimes things you do subconciously are things you mean NOT to do, but you do them because its what you are USED to doing. What are the reasons most guys are AFC's? Because their SUBCONSCIOUS tells them to do that, because of the way they were raised, what they learned from TV, etc... and that's the way they naturally react. Why do you think the road from ACF to PUA is so difficult? Because you're reverse engineering years and years of natural tendancies. So whose to say a woman does this stuff ON PURPOSE? My point really wasn't about women using flirtation to get what they want, but more so women using flirtation when they don't realize they are. So is it wrong to question a womans tendancies for the sake of protecting your own heart?

Anyways, Blue Phoenix, thanks for covering my ass on the "Food cures hunger" statement. I should've explained myself a bit more. Thanks for explaining it further.

Originally posted by B9
personally, I don't get this vilification of women. If you think they are such machiavellian creatures, then you have the freedom to not involve yourself with them.

There are plenty of of guys I think are Fvcked in the head. I chose to not involve myself with such people, so as to avoud myself the headache. No need to place any blame, they are free to live their lives the way they want.

If, knowing the nature of women, you still choose to invovle yourself with them like this, then surely you have to accept the responsibility for this. Don't see any need to place any blame on women for any misery inflicted upon yourself.

I'm just curious, but who exactly were you referring to when you made this post? And where you ever actally LJBFed? I mean, maybe I missed it, but your initial post never stated that you made a move on her, and she reciprocated with "LJBF" If you two were just having a conversation and she said that you were best friends, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Most of the girls I've been with considered me a friend. I just moved forwards into the romance area at the right time, and BAM. I made that mistake once... a girl called me her friend when I thought of her as a possiblity for more, and made a stupid comment that FVCKED everything all up. All because I was afraid I was going to end up into that "friend-zone" that most guys seem to fear.

 

[B9]

Originally posted by Skweints
I'm just curious, but who exactly were you referring to when you made this post? And where you ever actally LJBFed? I mean, maybe I missed it, but your initial post never stated that you made a move on her, and she reciprocated with "LJBF" If you two were just having a conversation and she said that you were best friends, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Most of the girls I've been with considered me a friend. I just moved forwards into the romance area at the right time, and BAM. I made that mistake once... a girl called me her friend when I thought of her as a possiblity for more, and made a stupid comment that FVCKED everything all up. All because I was afraid I was going to end up into that "friend-zone" that most guys seem to fear. [/B]

no, I did not make any move on her when she LJBFed me. I did not consider her a target worth pursuing at the time. It was only after that, when the flirting dramatically increased I started wondering whether there was a potential for sex.

 

[Skweints]

Ah okay. I wouldn't even take that as an LJBF... normally you get that response after you try and ask the girl out... the flirting dramatically increased because she's comfortable with you. You just gotta increase the sexual tention, but be ever so subtle about it. I, personally, would try to spend time away from her, give her time to miss you. Most likely, you still have a shot, in my opinion... it's just up to you whether or not you want to be patient.