Been LJBF'ed by her and yet she keeps flirting

[B9]

I have to admit I am somewhat confused by this HB 8.5 I am studying with.

Fooled around a bit with her when we first met at the intro-weekend, but she pulled 'just got out of relationship' card about the same time I decided I was going to bed anyway. in hindsight I decided that was just fine as we were in the same class.

Anyway, that was three months ago, and since then we've been getting along pretty well and flirting quite alot whenever we've been out on the town together. no biggie, just having fun, she's hot and I don't mind.

fastforward to last friday when I invited her over to a christmas dinner (danish phenomena I think - basically it's a chistmas excuse to party madly) held in the building I live. She had told me early on she considered me a real friend (and so one moves on) but this time she was telling she considered me her best friend (wtf, I've known her for three months!) and I was the one she was thinking of txting when she woke up in the morning after she'd been out to tell me what she'd been up to and whatever. She got exceedingly drunk and I even went into 'problem-fixing mode' and let her sleep on my spare madras that night (well, she's a friend).

So no confusion there, apart from a bit of flirting (ie nice kino) when drunk (another female friend of mine refused to believe we were 'just friends' that same night for said reason).

Anyway, what I can't quite figure out is that after just being given the ultimate LJBF ever, ever since she's been flirting with me in school to the point of being somewhat annoying, insisting on being in my group for projects, etc. Just today I told her I certainly wasn't planning on drinking anything tomorrow if we were going to a party where we study (for some reason she can't understand that isn't a problem for me ) and either way I thought I might visit my brother as I could get a free ride to where he lives (some 400 km/250 miles away) that day. Started to moan about me not coming, wasn't bothered listening and went back to studying and she starts flipping friggin' paper balls at me in class to get my attention!

Truth be told I am a bit confused. If it wasn't for the fact that she considered me such a 'great friend' I would be certain that she was into me. She is rather hot and I wouldn't mind boning her, but truth be told I am also somewhat curious at this apparent contradiction. Nothing I've ever seen before.

So what's your take on this?

 

[SDFUandDie]

She's confused! like most women they dont know what they want until its gone.

HIT IT AND SPLIT! LOL

If shes flirting with you that must mean something. She seems like she has to much baggage to be girlfriend type material.

She just needs a good ****ing. Give it to her dawg lol

 

[Blue Phoenix]

You've been here for more than 2 years and you still don't understand this?

She's a SERIAL FLIRT (aka AW), move on! This flirting will lead you to nowhere. She's just using you for attention and to boost her dumb ego!

Walk away, cut all contact and you'll see her going nuts!

 

[B9]

blue phoenix,

doesn't add up (btw, she is most definitely NOT girlfriend material), because I am not giving her the bloody attention or supplicating her. She is a serial flirt, but the amount of attention she's been giving me is rather unusual compared to what she usually does. Definitely not normal flirting.

 

[SDFUandDie]

stalker type material?!?!?

 

[B9]

Originally posted by SDFUandDie
stalker type material?!?!?

- hadn't crossed my mind to be honest, but you never know.

 

[Mack Bishop]

ljbf her

 

[Blue Phoenix]

You said she LJBFed you and yet keep sending mixed signals?

As Anti-dump said (if I'm not mistaken) mixed signals is a consequence of low interest level!

 

[B9]

Originally posted by Mack Bishop
ljbf her

I already have, ffs!

 

[SDFUandDie]

I had this chic stalk me once.. its no joke.

I told her i kept my balcony doors open.. but her azz kept breaking my damn windows to get in..lol

 

[ScrewIt]

LJBF her and let her know your glad the both of you are friends..

thats gonna confuse the **** out of her more haha

 

[Desdinova]

LJBF her and let her know your glad the both of you are friends..

I'm gonna modify this one. Don't tell her she's your friend, but treat her like one of your friends. Tell her about all the women you're raking in (you better fvcking be raking in others!!) and go into details about your dates. Talk about how one of your dates let you shave her pu55y. Keep the flirting up with her, and you'll be sending her mixed signals. Don't get confused about what she's doing. Hell, don't worry about it unless she makes the first move. Let her be the confused one.

 

[B9]

good post, desdinova. Haven't really been flirting with her as such, but when she grabs my ass I make damn sure I grab hers back as it is quite possible the finest I have ever seen.

But all in all, good advice.

 

[Tantric]

I've got to agree with most of the opinions here.

Confusion = LOW IL...

I was in the same situation for MANY months. Had a girl flirt with me SOOOOO Sexually, I took the initiative to fvck her, and fvcked her brains out a couple of times. Then she got distant, told me she was seeing someone....okaaaaayyyyy...after they break up, she comes back to me, flirts BIG TIME, gives me the impression she is interested, tells me how great i was in bed, how much fun she has with me, how i'm like her "best friend", how cute, sexy, fun, amazing I am....the list goes on.

But again...tells me she only wants to be friends...and starts seeing someone.

My problem...i didn't walk away when i should have.

My instincts tell me 100% that this is chick is using you for attention (not necessarily on purpose). She needs someone safe in her life where she can use her sexuality without committment, or "getting" sexual.

My advice to you...

Walk away.

Don't call her, don't hang out with her. Make her miss your attention, the fun, the "friendship". Don't return her calls for a while.

It can be hard...

She'll know EXACTLY what whe wants if it's gone.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Real easy.

You're a boyfriend surrogate. She (like every woman) thrives on your exclusive attention, but lacks the interest to correspond with her intimacy. She gets all the benefits of a boyfriend with none of the responsibilities of reciprocating anything for the security you provide by playing the role of boyfriend. This is an analagous situation to a guy having a fvck buddy; he gets his primary desire fulfilled (sex) without reciprocating the security and/or attention she desires.

Now the question you need to ask yourself is, "why would this girl have any motivation to be intimate with you when you have displayed to her, by your behavior, that you are quite willing to play the 'boyfriend' role irrespective of any contingency for her intimacy?" She's got what she wants, your undivided attention, security and comfort, why start paying for it now? The real problems will start when she does in fact find someone she's attracted to who doesn't reinforce her with attention. That's the guy who's going to tap her a$$ consistently while she whines away to you about what a Jerk he is. But, between the 2 of you she'll have the ideal boyfriend.

 

[Tantric]

Well said Rollo...

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Real easy.

You're a boyfriend surrogate. She (like every woman) thrives on your exclusive attention, but lacks the interest to correspond with her intimacy. She gets all the benefits of a boyfriend with none of the responsibilities of reciprocating anything for the security you provide by playing the role of boyfriend. This is an analagous situation to a guy having a fvck buddy; he gets his primary desire fulfilled (sex) without reciprocating the security and/or attention she desires.

Now the question you need to ask yourself is, "why would this girl have any motivation to be intimate with you when you have displayed to her, by your behavior, that you are quite willing to play the 'boyfriend' role irrespective of any contingency for her intimacy?" She's got what she wants, your undivided attention, security and comfort, why start paying for it now? The real problems will start when she does in fact find someone she's attracted to who doesn't reinforce her with attention. That's the guy who's going to tap her a$$ consistently while she whines away to you about what a Jerk he is. But, between the 2 of you she'll have the ideal boyfriend.

Perfect analysis! She has some few 'jerks' fcking her while she has 3x times more "nice guys"/whatever you call guys that give to her emotional support, help, "love", attention but with no sexual correspondence.

The problem is that those types dont let those "emotional" guys support go away. So, she maintan them on the backburner by: using "kino", "compliments", in general anything in order to maintain the guy under her spell (unless sex)!

That's why we say "walk away". Or she stabilishes from the get go, you're her pimp or not. We're not her BF neither her father to take care of her! What are we receiving from this kind of "twisted/one sided" "relationship/friendship/whatever"?

Don't let those parasites suck your emotional health:
W.A.L.K A.W.A.Y!

 

[blue17]

This thread is very good to keep in mind when dealing with certain girls. I think i may have fell victim to this in the past, so it's good to keep your eyes out for this kind of chicks. Like...everything is all good, then as soon as you take it a step further suddenly they don't want to.

It's a very good comparison to a guy having a fvck buddy....it helps you understand it better.

 

[B9]

good post, rollo.

One thing to take into consideration though is the fact that we're in the same class and that either way I don't really see the point in alienating her over something that never happened.

On the other hand, your post does illuminate that I should find out whether I want to fvck her or not, as that isn't really an option in that case.

Regardless, there are certain elements of such a friendship that would be entirely unwelcome in either scenario and think your analysis demonstrated that quite well.

cheers
B9

 

[DJDamage]

quote: Blue Phenoix
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The problem is that those types dont let those "emotional" guys support go away. So, she maintan them on the backburner by: using "kino", "compliments", in general anything in order to maintain the guy under her spell (unless sex)!

That's why we say "walk away". Or she stabilishes from the get go, you're her pimp or not. We're not her BF neither her father to take care of her! What are we receiving from this kind of "twisted/one sided" "relationship/friendship/whatever"?

Don't let those parasites suck your emotional health:
W.A.L.K A.W.A.Y!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This stuff is gold! It happens to me exectly as described above. Never Never go the friend route if you are intrested in a chick or she will milk you for what you are worth and walk away like nothing happen with another guy.

All of the sudden you won't get the "kino" you won't get the "compliments" when you see or talk to her she will be a different person because she won't need your support anymore once she either replaced you by a better/funnier chump or a LTR with another guy.

If I know the sh1t I knew today, I would never have gotten to the point where I though "hmm if I would be her friend and get closer to her by: making her laugh, being there for her, helping her out with her problems and driving her places, she will see what kind of a great guy I am, after all women always preaching they want a nice guy!!! ---- AS YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING I SAID IN THAT PARAGRAPH WAS COUNTER PRODUCTIVE, SHE USED ME AND THROW ME AWAY WITHOUT BLINKING, AND THIS CHICK USED TO TELL ME HOW MUCH SHE CARED AND LIKED ME!! NEVER AGAIN WILL I GO THE AFC ROUTE.

I wish I had this advice 3 years ago, I would saved myself alot of heartache and frustrations.

Listen B9 or you will to suffer the same consquences. Good Luck.