Been doing no contact for 1.5 days..and im caving!

[gimmeyofonenumba]

We talk just about every single day. She lives a few hours a way. So we've only had 6-7 dates so far. I thought I had her hooked, we've had mind blowing sex. She compliments me, lots of pda/affection, talks about wanting to come over and cook and help me at work, etc. Recently,I sensed a level of Low interest so I decided to stop for a few days. But I'm stunned, I'm thinking to myself..how the heck is this girl not contacting me yet, I thought she'd be way more emotional by now. Is it possible that since we had sex so early on(first date) that she built some wall up to not get her emotions hurt? it's starting to eat at me, surely it has to be eating at her as well right?

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

Probably not....She probably has another guy besides you and is doing the same to him. It sucks but thats what happens sometimes. You said she lives a few hours away too so that gives her the perfect opportunity to have you and another guy. If she contacts you, you give her the same treatment she gave you by ignoring her and no contact.

 

[mahoney]

The problem is you not her. You should not require daily contact with someone you have had just 7 dates with. You shouldn't require daily contact from anyone but thats another story. Thats really very needy, why do you need such a high level of reassurance?

If you are always the initiator then you have set that pattern, it is you that contacts and she that responds. Then you decide to try changing the pattern by not contacting for couple days, and are surprised that she doesn't immediately become the initiator? Why would she? there is no reason for this

Ask yourself the question. "why do you need daily text/phone/mail contact?"
And how is she ever going to look forward to hearing from you if she is hearing from you the whole time?

All the threads on here are basically the same problem. The guy sets a pattern of overcontacting, constant contact, then he realizes he's looking a bit too intense or that the girl isn't keeping up with this bombardment of contact so goes to the other extreme and tries to go non-contact. Its too serious and too intense instead of natural and organic

You are rushing things and putting too much pressure onto something before its even started because you are insecure. Really, 1.5 days? You shouldn't expect so much contact, its overbearing.

Why would it be eating at her? It shouldn't be eating at you. You are displaying classic symptoms of low self-esteem and entitlement.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

she initiates contact more often than I do. If I go all day without contacting, she'll text or call before she knows im going to bed. The past 2 days have been an exception, and thats why I initiated the no-contact. I did it a few weeks back for 1 day and she called first, and I could tell it affected her.

 

[mahoney]

I really don't think such small time periods (1-2 days) mean anything at all, you are reading too much into it

The problem with so much contacting the whole time (even if she initiates) is you get locked into a pattern of actually requiring that much contact and notice even just one day without any. instead of trying to switch between constant contact and non-contact just relax a little maybe reduce the frequency instead of trying to play a game.

just why is there so much messaging? tho tbf she seems as insecure as you

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

your right, it affects me..cause I start pursuing other women HEAVILY..which i know is partially good, but at the same time I like her quite a bit. She is somewhat insecure. Thats why im thinking it might be a good idea to msg her first..we'll see. She has tons of guys demanding for her, and I'm thinking she'll start seeking the attention else-where like Iam doing.