jlujan
Don Juan
Well people what can i say, after reading so many things and working on so many projects, the conclusion to becoming a Don Juan is very simple, really. Its not about technique, its not about looks, its not about vocabulary, mannerism or karma. Its all simply about becoming Socially adept, or in simpler terms, popular. Now you might be saying " i already know that", but do you really? because if you did you would realize that becoming Socially adept is not out of reach for anybody, i have met plenty of short and ugly popular and cool people to guarantee that this is reality, and you probably know a person or two that lacks in the looks department, yet manages to be cool and hangs out with cool and beutiful people as well.
Now the big question is what are you NOT doing in your daily life to belong to the masses of shy and socially inhibited people of this world?
If any of you is familiar with sales, you would know that natural salespeople are rare, most good salesman are created by a process of hard work, and most important, practice, practice, practice. By this i don't mean you go out there and repeat your mistakes over and over again, what i am saying is you need to go out there and pray to god that you make many mistakes, why? because by making mistakes you have the golden chance to identify them, and thus work on getting rid of them for good.
If any of you is waking up each day without a plan and a set of objectives to acomplish during your day, you are losers. You don't deserve to become DJ's and you will never be, because a DJ works for his results, he stays focused on one task until hes done, he strives to be better each day until the day comes that he actually starts to see results in his life. Non DJ material people try once, twice, and give up because its "too stupid", they are not focused, and they deep inside of them want to fail because winning is not for them.
Back to our main topic of how to become socially adept, to become socialy adept forget all the quick remedies, you need to WORK HARD and long, you need to change your behavior, push your comfort zones all the time, go to hell and back if you have to but one thing can never change, quitting is not an option. There are some basic rules and things you need to start doing in your daily life in order to become Socially adept, stick to these and dominate these and you will change your entire life, everynight make a list of things you are going to do the next day in order to become better, more social, and like the farmer, start sowing the seeds that will give you a great harvest 1 yr from now, analize these things that socially succesful people do all the time, and make them your own, if you are a man that spends most of his time at home, start slowly chatting with people, go out, anywhere!!!!! but leave the house, invite your friends over, even if you feel they wont show up, if you hear someone talking about something you know or are familiar with, get in there, offer your help, go out of your way to provide something of value, make people need you for one reason or another, don't fake it, your still a loser and a chump at socializing, but you are on your way, so give it some time and let it work for you.
8 habits of the socially adept derive from one core habit; staying focused and interested in people with whom one interact:
1. They invest time in others. They sharpen their social skills and increase their popularity by spending a lot of time with others. They often go out with others, invite them to their home, go to theirs and participate in various social activities. If you don't invest the time, you don't get the results.
2. They expect others to be fair and friendly towards them. They don't worry that about "proving" how witty and interesting they are. They believe that others will be gracious and forgiving of their minor faults and "goof ups." They think positive about others and hence come across as positive persons to others.
3. They direct their attention ******d rather than onto themselves. They scan the social scene to guide their actions. They observe others and listen actively, which gives them plenty of leads regarding what will be interesting and appealing to them.
4. They know when to step in and step out of a conversation. To join in, they look for a lull in a conversation and ask appropriate questions or elaborate on what someone has already said. They make comments that are connected to what is being said, as opposed to an amateur who throws in a statement that tends to disrupt the conversation. They know when to stop so someone else can get a chance to chime in.
5. They glide over a "miss" and expect to "hit" next time. For example, when the socially adept try to join in on a conversation and find that they are being ignored or unwelcome, they don't regard it as a rejection or a personal failure. Like accomplished batsmen, they assume that with so many strikes, there will be some misses along with many hits.
6. They take hold of their negative emotions such as anger, disappointments and fears. When they experience negative feelings, they quickly shift their attention to the more positive aspects of the situation. They earn the admiration of others for demonstrating control over their emotions.
7. They resolve disagreements tactfully. In the words of Carducci in Psychology Today, "Instead of fighting fire with fire, socially confident people stop conflict from escalating; they apologize, propose a joint activity, make a peace offering of some kind, or negotiate." They control their emotions, listen, communicate, persuade, and yield to accommodate the need of the other party.
8. They humor people. They want everyone around them to have a good time. They keep a few jokes and stories handy for various occasions.
Now the big question is what are you NOT doing in your daily life to belong to the masses of shy and socially inhibited people of this world?
If any of you is familiar with sales, you would know that natural salespeople are rare, most good salesman are created by a process of hard work, and most important, practice, practice, practice. By this i don't mean you go out there and repeat your mistakes over and over again, what i am saying is you need to go out there and pray to god that you make many mistakes, why? because by making mistakes you have the golden chance to identify them, and thus work on getting rid of them for good.
If any of you is waking up each day without a plan and a set of objectives to acomplish during your day, you are losers. You don't deserve to become DJ's and you will never be, because a DJ works for his results, he stays focused on one task until hes done, he strives to be better each day until the day comes that he actually starts to see results in his life. Non DJ material people try once, twice, and give up because its "too stupid", they are not focused, and they deep inside of them want to fail because winning is not for them.
Back to our main topic of how to become socially adept, to become socialy adept forget all the quick remedies, you need to WORK HARD and long, you need to change your behavior, push your comfort zones all the time, go to hell and back if you have to but one thing can never change, quitting is not an option. There are some basic rules and things you need to start doing in your daily life in order to become Socially adept, stick to these and dominate these and you will change your entire life, everynight make a list of things you are going to do the next day in order to become better, more social, and like the farmer, start sowing the seeds that will give you a great harvest 1 yr from now, analize these things that socially succesful people do all the time, and make them your own, if you are a man that spends most of his time at home, start slowly chatting with people, go out, anywhere!!!!! but leave the house, invite your friends over, even if you feel they wont show up, if you hear someone talking about something you know or are familiar with, get in there, offer your help, go out of your way to provide something of value, make people need you for one reason or another, don't fake it, your still a loser and a chump at socializing, but you are on your way, so give it some time and let it work for you.
8 habits of the socially adept derive from one core habit; staying focused and interested in people with whom one interact:
1. They invest time in others. They sharpen their social skills and increase their popularity by spending a lot of time with others. They often go out with others, invite them to their home, go to theirs and participate in various social activities. If you don't invest the time, you don't get the results.
2. They expect others to be fair and friendly towards them. They don't worry that about "proving" how witty and interesting they are. They believe that others will be gracious and forgiving of their minor faults and "goof ups." They think positive about others and hence come across as positive persons to others.
3. They direct their attention ******d rather than onto themselves. They scan the social scene to guide their actions. They observe others and listen actively, which gives them plenty of leads regarding what will be interesting and appealing to them.
4. They know when to step in and step out of a conversation. To join in, they look for a lull in a conversation and ask appropriate questions or elaborate on what someone has already said. They make comments that are connected to what is being said, as opposed to an amateur who throws in a statement that tends to disrupt the conversation. They know when to stop so someone else can get a chance to chime in.
5. They glide over a "miss" and expect to "hit" next time. For example, when the socially adept try to join in on a conversation and find that they are being ignored or unwelcome, they don't regard it as a rejection or a personal failure. Like accomplished batsmen, they assume that with so many strikes, there will be some misses along with many hits.
6. They take hold of their negative emotions such as anger, disappointments and fears. When they experience negative feelings, they quickly shift their attention to the more positive aspects of the situation. They earn the admiration of others for demonstrating control over their emotions.
7. They resolve disagreements tactfully. In the words of Carducci in Psychology Today, "Instead of fighting fire with fire, socially confident people stop conflict from escalating; they apologize, propose a joint activity, make a peace offering of some kind, or negotiate." They control their emotions, listen, communicate, persuade, and yield to accommodate the need of the other party.
8. They humor people. They want everyone around them to have a good time. They keep a few jokes and stories handy for various occasions.
