Becoming cold

Pandora

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“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

We are taught to play the game. To act indifferent. Not to call for a week. To basically care less than she does. Thats how you slay the modern urban female. It works. The problem is that doing this kills everything that makes you a good father, provider and husband. American women are selecting for traits that are not conducive to a good boyfriend or husband. This is why many girls are unhappy. For thousands of years men could just be a normal loving guy and score a quality chick. Now we have to kill that sentimental piece of ourselves.

That sentimental side to a mans nature is what allows him to stick with his mate when times get rough. It is what allows him to even want to start a family. I say that we don't give into playing the same game these girls are playing. They are playing it because they are mentally ill. We are better than that. Act normally. If a girl doesn't reciprocate to normal behavior then move on. But playing games ruins you too. I was never good at them anyway.

All of the girls that I had a relationship with never really played games with me. It was normal interaction. I didn't have to make them wait, or neg them, or make them chase me. The girls that respond to that type of stuff are the girls that are perpetually single. The girls that don't make guys do that are already out of the dating pool because they are wifed up. Most girls that ghost you or flake on you are still single to this day. The girls that are pretty easy going are always in long term relationships.

I respect dating coaches like Corey Wayne and other guys like that. Their methods are effective. But at what cost? I like the Anti dump method. Just act like a normal guy and if she thinks that taking a woman out to a dinner date is too desperate, or texting two days later is too desperate, or texting a few days after you had sex is desperate then she is the insane one. Not you. She will most likely be single until 30 and then divorce rape her beta husband. While the sane girls are doing ok.
 
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btownbuck2012

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EXCELLENT POST.

The difference is not Alpha vs. Beta - It's STRENGTH vs. WEAKNESS. You can be a good man and still be STRONG. It's all about leading her. Women want to get sucked into your frame. They want to submit and follow. Nothing about that means you have to be a jerk, thug or an as$hole it's just that those guys have much stronger frames than typical nice guys. If nice guys would learn how to develop a bit of a grit to them and start BELIEVING in themselves, a-lot of their problems with women would disappear.

Although, you also must take into consideration, which you did in your OP, the quality of the market.
 

Pandora

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EXCELLENT POST.

The difference is not Alpha vs. Beta - It's STRENGTH vs. WEAKNESS. You can be a good man and still be STRONG. It's all about leading her. Women want to get sucked into your frame. They want to submit and follow. Nothing about that means you have to be a jerk, thug or an as$hole it's just that those guys have much stronger frames than typical nice guys. If nice guys would learn how to develop a bit of a grit to them and start BELIEVING in themselves, a-lot of their problems with women would disappear.

Although, you also must take into consideration, which you did in your OP, the quality of the market.
Btwonbuck2012, ive been getting into spirituality lately. This includes becoming a calmer, loving person through meditation etc etc. This is diametrically opposed to the traits you are supposed to feed when you are dating. When a man is dating he is taught to generate indifference, ruthlessness, coldness and a Machiavellian attitude in general ( dark triad stuff). This does not help in a mans journey to becoming a more open person. Dating doesnt cultivate traits of your "higher self". So the decision is become a better person or get more lays. I choose becoming a better person. If a girl doesnt give me play because I was too open emotionally, then so be it. I refused to become a cold person in order to get that festering hole between her legs.
 

btownbuck2012

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Btwonbuck2012, ive been getting into spirituality lately. This includes becoming a calmer, loving person through meditation etc etc. This is diametrically opposed to the traits you are supposed to feed when you are dating. When a man is dating he is taught to generate indifference, ruthlessness, coldness and a Machiavellian attitude in general ( dark triad stuff). This does not help in a mans journey to becoming a more open person. Dating doesnt cultivate traits of your "higher self". So the decision is become a better person or get more lays. I choose becoming a better person. If a girl doesnt give me play because I was too open emotionally, then so be it. I refused to become a cold person in order to get that festering hole between her legs.
I've been getting into meditation myself recently! You're right, when you achieve that higher consciousness in your meditation you realize that all people are simply trying to protect themeselves from being hurt. This has given me more confidence is dealing with people both professionally and personally. A lot of women's flakey behavior can be traced back to them simply not wanting to be taken advantage of.
 

Pandora

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I've been getting into meditation myself recently! You're right, when you achieve that higher consciousness in your meditation you realize that all people are simply trying to protect themeselves from being hurt. This has given me more confidence is dealing with people both professionally and personally. A lot of women's flakey behavior can be traced back to them simply not wanting to be taken advantage of.
EXACTLY BRO! Most of it comes down to a fear of being vulnerable. What they dont understand is that true strength comes from not being afraid of being vulnerable. It is not fearing rejection. I am not there quite yet but hopefully one day i will be. When I am tapped into my higher self I can see most people are protecting themselves and that leads to insecurity and wierd behavior. Funny thing is the more open and loving you become the less power their games have on you. You just chuckle because you realize that their games are signs of severe emotional trauma and a lack of self awarness.
 
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Pandora

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I've been getting into meditation myself recently! You're right, when you achieve that higher consciousness in your meditation you realize that all people are simply trying to protect themeselves from being hurt. This has given me more confidence is dealing with people both professionally and personally. A lot of women's flakey behavior can be traced back to them simply not wanting to be taken advantage of.
This is why its so much easier dealing with younger girls from sane cultures. Its like night and day. They dont have the social conditioning of American feminism and they are too young to have the baggage yet. But the woman the ( 19-24) the better. Girls over 25 have so much emotional baggage.
 

btownbuck2012

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EXACTLY BRO! Most of it comes down to a fear of being vulnerable. What they dont understand is that true strength comes from not being afraid of being vulnerable. It is not fearing rejection. I am not there quite yet but hopefully one day i will be. When I am tapped into my higher self I can see most people are protecting themselves and that leads to insecurity and wierd behavior. Funny thing is the more open and loving you become the less power their games have on you. You just chuckle because you realize that their games are signs of severe emotional trauma and a lack of self awarness.
You and I are on the exact same page my brother. That higher consciousness realization has made a world of difference in my game.
 

ibew_bro

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This is a very good post and it touches on what I have struggled with for the past few years.. To be yourself or not be yourself! All the above mentioned crap may work with some women but its not being authentic to yourself.
Having to resort to such stuff is actually whats weak..Accepting yourself and being yourself (maybe with a little tweaking not to be such a pushover) is where the true strength is..Strength is not in playing games in order to get laid.. The ability to be a good guy and tell women to "get to steppin" if they do not accept you for that, Is more alpha than anything! There is no game needed because if you do that she will respect you and you will get what you want without a game...Whether it be the dating game, friendships, co workers, or people on the street you first meet..We as men need to have a foundation which we stand on with how we treat people.Like a motto.....I personally, Treat people nice but not to nice! My kindness, time & attention is limited to whats been earned.. Its not a game, Its how I treat people.
 

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You guys r gonna be in a world of pain with such mindsets.

There is no such thing as nice guy, bad guy, jerks etc.

There is only a MAN with a masculine mindset and a MAN with a boy level mindset.

A man with a masculine mindset is both a caveman and a prince. An angel and a demon all rolled into one.

Herein lies the difference between a man and a boy.
 

Smartone84

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Very good post, and it hits home with someone like me who falls more into that "nicer guy" category even though I do try and put up a bit of a front most of the time around a girl I like. But I've realized one thing when it comes to these I'd say close to 50% of modern day American women who need to be gamed very specifically with these types of methods. F-CK THEM.

And that's basically it.

I've had two serious relationships in my life lasting 2 years a piece and I can tell you one thing. While I wasn't AFC during said relationships, I certainly didn't pull full blown Corey Wayne or Mystery Method's on them, at least not to an extreme extent. I played it cool, treated them well when they deserved it, and basically just acted myself and showed them a good time as much as I could. Fortunately these relationships didn't work out bc of other issues but at 33 years old with regards to hard game, I'm done with it all. I have a great job with great benefits, own my own place in a beautiful neighborhood, have a nice car, good friends, healthy hobbies, a nice wardrobe and am by no means a creeper AFC. I've realized that any girl would be very lucky to have me and while its very unfortunate it hasn't happened for me yet, I'm still optimistic it will one day (hopefully sooner than later).
 
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