Becoming bored with dating

[SoldMySoul]

As of late, the last several dates I have been on have bored me out of my mind. I guess this really is a blessing in disguise since I will not just accept anything that comes my way. It is the same crap.... They rattle off about things that I do not really care about. I guess if my IL was up, I would listen and pay more attention. I think it is time for me to take a break!!! Anyone out get to feeling like this where they really do not care?

 

[st_99]

I was actually just thinking about this..

Lately, I've just had this feeling of not caring about dating or relatonships in general. Not that I'm bitter or soured on girls but I just don't really care at the moment.

Perhaps its because we put to much mental effort into sex and women that our brain is kind of taking a break.?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...They rattle off about things that I do not really care about. ...

How the heck do you go about choosing these women? Is it on looks alone?

 

[blueguy]

Is it on looks alone?

Why not?! ...

 

[Dash Riprock]

A couple thoughts:

1- Raise your criteria. As FdA said if you're only going by looks, then this is what you'll get. Get to know them as a friend first if possible, THEN, ask them out. I've always had much better success with this. Raise the avg. age.
2- Where are you looking? If bars, once again, NOT a good place for a solid woman, your odds drop. Try events, coffee shops, Barnes and Noble, there are a million other places to sarge.
3- Take time off. Take a break and recharge. Focus on YOU. Have fun. BUT keep the door open if someone magically appears. Go on a few platonic dates to keep sharp.
4- Work on YOU. People of all sorts are attracted to positive, goal-oriented people, people on a MISSION. Find your passion and pursue it and watch (good) people latch on like magnets.

 

[SoldMySoul]

How the heck do you go about choosing these women? Is it on looks alone?

Now Francisco, that would make me very superficial!!! Actually the date I went on last night was an ex I dated about 11 years ago, she went off to college and because of that I broke up with her. She was immature and young back then and after speaking with her after years of not seeing/ talking to her, I figured she wouldn't be boring. Probiem was that our work fields are similar and that and her ex is all she talked about.


Definitely not looks alone, but I may start investing a little more talk time before I go on a date.

 

[Mr.Positive]

The best dates are the ones you would have fun with, regardless if she's there or not.

Just pick something you enjoy doing...hiking, swimming, museums, whatever and invite her to come along. This way, you have fun because you are doing something that you enjoy, and you get a chance to learn some things about her, without her being the total focus of the date.

If you click with her..great, if not, no big deal.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Now Francisco, that would make me very superficial!!! Actually the date I went on last night was an ex I dated about 11 years ago, she went off to college and because of that I broke up with her. She was immature and young back then and after speaking with her after years of not seeing/ talking to her, I figured she wouldn't be boring. Probiem was that our work fields are similar and that and her ex is all she talked about.

So other than because you dated earlier, why did you choose to go out with this one?

Definitely not looks alone, but I may start investing a little more talk time before I go on a date.

Just five minutes or so to pre-qualify can save you an evening of bordom...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The best dates are the ones you would have fun with, regardless if she's there or not.

Just pick something you enjoy doing...hiking, swimming, museums, whatever and invite her to come along. This way, you have fun because you are doing something that you enjoy, and you get a chance to learn some things about her, without her being the total focus of the date.

If you click with her..great, if not, no big deal.

I go along with this for subsequent dates but not the first one. During the first date I want to figure out whether or not I'd even want to see them again, especially tagging along during other activities.