Becoming a MAN

[Lamia]

Hi everyone
I (like most people here) have a question about becoming what people call a MAN. I am what you call the nice guy. I have read in every article, topic, etc that nice guys are wusses and they get used and sad all the time. When I finished reading those topics and things I set of to be a man. I haven't had much luck at it but like most things it comes with experience. Before I go on and start boring everyone I'll cut the bull and get to the point.

Tonight I went out with some friends they invited me to go to the movies. This was my first time going out with friends and I accepted. So I got ready and I read the same articles and stuff. Now when I got off the car I went out and looked for the group with my confidence high and all the articles in my head. The begining part of this story was great however it started getting worse and worse and worse. I started losing confidence and I was walking alone. I felt deserted from everyone else and shy. What I was told not to do I was doing but I couldn't stop!!!!
At the end of the night I was crying histrically and I vomited in the toilet. I felt like .....

However, instead of whining about and playing WoW,I read these articles and now I feel that I brought up my confidence and I feel happier with myself.

But I have to ask everyone a question.
Durring this "organization of people" I felt alone most of the time and as thou I had a wooden stick up my rear. What is that and what can I do to stop it.

Thank you for reading this,
Lamia

 

[Jester090]

Now when I got off the car I went out and looked for the group with my confidence high and all the articles in my head. The begining part of this story was great however it started getting worse and worse and worse. I started losing confidence and I was walking alone. I felt deserted from everyone else and shy. What I was told not to do I was doing but I couldn't stop!!!!
At the end of the night I was crying histrically and I vomited in the toilet. I felt like .....

Dude, I'm confused...are you trying to say that your friends stood you up ? What caused you to cry?

 

[shydude]

ERrrrrrr i dont get it too.... Kinda hard to understand. And u went out with friend for the first time?? ever went out with a girl???

 

[Lamia]

What got my to cry was mostly that I felt seperated by people that I knew.

 

[dannowillbookem]

wow. thats pathetic.

you sit here and read articles to fake yourself into feeling like a man, get on your little confidence high, go out into the real world, and crash like a lead balloon. get real. you dont get confidence from sitting in front of a computer, spending hours reading articles telling you youre great. you get it from going out everyday, living life, getting shot down, getting boosted up, smiling, frowning, laughing and crying (but much less crying please).

what makes a man a man is that he can deal with any situation without cracking and can handle anything life throws at him without...crying and vomitting into a toilette...

 

[oakraiderz2]

Awesome, you hit rock bottom. Dont cry and get ride of your negative attitude. Look at things more positively instead of crying. Just talk to one of them, ask them what they did that day, blah blah.

 

[Gubby]

Guys in this part of the forum are so merciless... so he screwed up, he needs help not insults..

I think this is a case of being socially uncomfortable. You've got to learn to chill out and have fun with people. I don't think the articles will help a huge lot. Make it your target to become happy with social interactions. Watch how people like you want to be act. If you have a good friend you might ask for his help. Try the bootcamp method: give yourself goals to meet for looking strangers in the eyes and smiling, saying hi, starting conversations, etc. It really helps. All you need to do is to keep a steady pressure on yourself to improve, and it will come.

 

[Potbelly]

Ok good news is this: you realize that you need to change. This is a great start and you're already ahead of a lot of people. Now, it's all good to read articles to feel good. I bet even that jackass dannowillbookwhatever reads certain posts to feel good.

Anyhow, I suggest trying the DJ bootcamp. Go to the DJ Bible and there shuld be a link to a bootcamp. If it seems a bit difficult at first, split 1 week into 2. If that's too easy, stick with the original plan. But you gotta start with baby steps. You can't expect to make up for years of loneliness in a few days. Otherwise, good luck.

 

[Lamia]

You guys are awsome thanks for the advice. (except dannowillbookem)

Now if you excuse me I have to get off the computer and go out somewhere.

 

[Bloke]

Thank you Lamia. Thank you thank you. I have never laughed so hard at something I have read EVER.

 

[mikak]

if u want to be a man. Watch Gladiator ,Maximus is a man. He is nice, courteous, man of his word, strong , humble, loyal and know what he wants!