Become bitter towards women over time

[SurfsupinHawaii]

I first found this site in like 02'. I was 17, pretty clueless and had a hard time with females. now 3 years later a lot has changed with females. I get girls but it's like I don't even wanna waste time getting to know them. It's kinda hard to explain. It just seems like whenever I am with a girl for a few months or more I want out or something fvcks it up. So lately I've just been into random hook-ups but its bad cause I know thats not really who I am or what I want ultimately but sometimes my d1ck does the thinking..

I was in a LTR before I joined the military, ended up breaking that off.. then I got into a relationship with an awesome chick but that went to hell when me her and her roommate got drunk and messed around, it changed the relationship, we were still together for 2 more months but it was way too much drama.

At this point I know I want some kind of LTR but it seems like I only look at girls as pieces of ass and I dont even wanna do anything except hit em up. Like I know it sounds bad, and I don't like hate chicks I just don't respect many. and the ones I don't I dont wanna bother with.

Has anyone else ever gone through a phase like this where all you want is ass? How do I get to where I wanna talk to and meet women who are more than a warm hole LOL

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by SurfsupinHawaii
I first found this site in like 02'. I was 17, pretty clueless and had a hard time with females. now 3 years later a lot has changed with females. I get girls but it's like I don't even wanna waste time getting to know them. It's kinda hard to explain. It just seems like whenever I am with a girl for a few months or more I want out or something fvcks it up. So lately I've just been into random hook-ups but its bad cause I know thats not really who I am or what I want ultimately but sometimes my d1ck does the thinking..

I was in a LTR before I joined the military, ended up breaking that off.. then I got into a relationship with an awesome chick but that went to hell when me her and her roommate got drunk and messed around, it changed the relationship, we were still together for 2 more months but it was way too much drama.

At this point I know I want some kind of LTR but it seems like I only look at girls as pieces of ass and I dont even wanna do anything except hit em up. Like I know it sounds bad, and I don't like hate chicks I just don't respect many. and the ones I don't I dont wanna bother with.

Has anyone else ever gone through a phase like this where all you want is ass? How do I get to where I wanna talk to and meet women who are more than a warm hole LOL

Like many people you switched extremes after learning the art of being a "DJ". You went from probably being an AFC and trying to give them what you thought they wanted (i.e. sensitivity, LTR type of crap) to just taking advantage of how easy it is to get in their pants when you know what makes them tick.

Your problem isn't something that someone can just "fix" for you by saying a few magic words. However, I can tell you this much. You have overcompensated for your lack of success when you were younger by just going after sex with them as much as possible after you learned how. You were on a sex-crazed adrenaline rush and now it is wearing off. You're feeling the effects of this. You're seeing that the road you're going down is a long and lonely one now that you can see more clearly.

The change you are seeking can only come from within. You started in the right direction by realizing your problem. Self awareness is the first and most important step in self improvement and you've taken that step. Honestly, this alone is the biggest hurdle for people and this is the area they generally need help in. You've already helped yourself. You're now thinking in terms of LTR and getting more meaning out of your relationships. Actions follow thoughts. In time you will eventually get what you want.

 

[gmm567]

I am feeling the same way

I am thinking most of this generation of females are never going to establish any long term relationships with guys.

In the 90's the divorce rate was 70%. By the time they are 40 most woman have 2-3 kids and 2-3 divorces. 90% of the time the woman is divorcing the man.

Loyalty, trust, friendship -- this generation of woman don't offer it.

Get good long lasting guy friends. And pursue the *****es for casual sex--that's all they are good for.


Geoff

 

[thefonz]

that link really argues a good point.....since i found this website no women have been able to create that "butterfly" feeling in my stomach, even the ones that hit on me....but i'm going to England in one month and i plan to come back with stories.

 

[Wyldfire]

This happens when guys who come here are talked into not having feelings. As was pointed out to me earlier today on the LTR forum I started by MetalFortress...guys who come here stop letting themselves care or love the women they ge involved with because they falsely believe that it is loving the woman that makes her leave. The real problem is that too many guys become more feminine, needy and clingy when they develop feelings for a woman. Feeling love isn't the problem...it is the way those who come here used to react when they had those feelings that were the real problem. To be balanced enough to have quality and healthy relationships you need to retain the ability and desire to love while eliminating the clingy, needy and feminine behavior.

 

[California Love]

SurfsupinHawaii! Sup man, it's been a while. I dig what you're feelin. On the islands especially, the girls are gorgeous but so few have personality, wit, and compassion. They may all look different but it often seems like inside, they are the same superficial conformists. I'd hella encourage you to come back into the states and stay a while on the coasts, where personality and education are more overbearing that looking beautiful.

However, there's still places within Oahu u could check out. I know ppl never goto the libraries there, but areas where you have professionals and ambitious people are good starters. The thing is, the island is fcking small, and options are limited. Hey, maybe pay Puhaho a visit and mack on some youngass, mainland bound girls...

 

[Reed247]

ass

That's what type of guy you are. A Playboy.
I want it both ways. I want sex and I want a girl to love me. I am currently in a **** relationship with a christian (at least claims to be) who won't have sex and is beautiful. So what I like to do is go to escorts.

 

[ScrewIt]

I think Wyldfire made a good point.

Surfsup, i think the type of problem you have is similar to mine. I too before i found this site was a lost afc, like many others. zoom into a year and a half (the present), im in your situation. I've lost my emotions and i've come to not care about many things. and in addition, i would **** women and not be emotionally involved.

It's like the physical part of you is there, but the mental part is not. I think i've come to realize that this is some kind of defense mechanism. that by keeping myself detached from my any real emotion/feelings toward women, will i be able to succeed with women. Because it was for a fact in my afc days, i allowed my emotions to overrun me. Who knows, maybe i do have an subconscious fear of letting it happen again.

But i do know after this, i still have a part of me that's missing. and i need to find a balance to make it work out.

 

[gmm567]

yea, listen to Wild*****

She f***ks criminals--go see her postings.

She'd rather go screw a hoodlum than have a healthy relationship with a decent guy. She claims this is because in her family "we never expressed emotions."

I see!

This isn't the type of female you want to take advice from. Go talk with women in their 60's. That generation appreciated a decent guy, and most of this generation had good (and lifelong) marriages.


Screwing criminals was rare, and only done by small deviant subclass of women. Now it's the dominant mainstream culture.

Stay sane. Get good guy friends and pursue casual sex.

 

[arq-dj1]

if u look for sex.. u find sex
if u look for meaning, u may find something

love is the same

you have to love women, to love women

there is no way to love your girl if you prior to that don't love women!

yes, there are biatches, there are manipulators... but the entire gender is not like that...

what i do is, i give them a chance... your not giving any, how can u find someone?
choose right, don't settle for less and don't acommodate...

love them, but be aware of the risks you take when you start liking someone

it's impossible to live a full life without taking risks, and when you love someone, you are taking risk...

there is no other option to live the best life you can live...

don't be ignorant, don't be stupid

but give the girls a chance

 

[spider_007]

If I knew I could get laid regullarly, I'd woldn't mind NOT getting attached. Who cares

http://www.nomarriage.com/
^ and this site makes a WHOLE LOT OF SENCE to me. I love it.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Re: I am feeling the same way

Originally posted by gmm567
Loyalty, trust, friendship -- this generation of woman don't offer it.

Geoff

Geoff, you hit the nail right on the head my friend.

Soon there won't be anymore divorces because there won't be any more marriages.

The rising number of young, desperate, single mothers out there is unbelievable, but who wants someone else's sloppy seconds who is most likely an outright b*tch, and who wants to raise someone else's kid? Not me, thanks.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by arq-dj1
if u look for sex.. u find sex
if u look for meaning, u may find something

love is the same

you have to love women, to love women

there is no way to love your girl if you prior to that don't love women!

yes, there are biatches, there are manipulators... but the entire gender is not like that...

what i do is, i give them a chance... your not giving any, how can u find someone?
choose right, don't settle for less and don't acommodate...

love them, but be aware of the risks you take when you start liking someone

it's impossible to live a full life without taking risks, and when you love someone, you are taking risk...

there is no other option to live the best life you can live...

don't be ignorant, don't be stupid

but give the girls a chance

No offence, but you probably have little experience with North American females. Brazilian women are very different.

 

[skeeloo]

spider 007 that site is gold. lol.

 

[dig it]

i know what is eating at you.

i know because i saw it once in myself.

The chick(s) has really ruffled your feathers, and you forgot perhaps just what it was in the first place that made you feel good about doing what you are doing.

well, i bet you are feeling a bit angry, and or jealous of stuff....you may even feel anger/frustration.


btw....those emotions, anger and jealousy, hate/frustration, eat you up on the inside.....they consume you, and they change your every action....


look, you cannot give to the world what you truly are on the inside - you CANNOT show it - with anger or jealosy or hate clouding your every action.


You must forgive the people or things that have done whatever they did to you....dont forgive them because you are a bible person, or forgive them because you want to be good....forgive them for you....thats right....forgive them and say while looking in a mirror...(say out loud) "i am not putting up with this shadow on my personality anymore.....i forgive you for what you did to me, and i am forgiving you so i can be free, this is about me now...i dont care what you did or why you did it, that is not important....the only thing that is important is that you did it and you made me have to live with it....but i forgive you in spite of all of that....because i dont want to feel angry or jealous or bitter or frustrated anymore because of you and what you did...it doesnt matter to me anymore, as i will not allow myself to live with those feelings on my heart, they weigh me down, and i deserve to feel better than that, so i forgive you for me, i wont let it bother me anymore."

Something like that will help you, and sif yuo say it in the mirror, and really MEAN it, it will do wonders for you letting go and becoming cool again.

If it was a person, tell them in the mirror (to yourself) what you want to tell them AS IF THEY WERE STANDING THERE IN FRONT OF YOU and how you wont let the emotions you are feeling because of them ruin your life or make your life worse than it could be..

that is the only way, to forgive because you dont want to burden yourself with that crap anymore.

And you will feel better, and your true self will come out.

life is too short to cop stuff from other people or peope in general and worry about it, because it effects how you perform in the world....you would only be robbing yourself if you let this continue....forgiving is the best way....you dont goto jail, and its water off a ducks back....

what are the alternitives....to live like you are, go to jail because you murdered every women who you dont en up liking, or be free from feeling like you do....its not their fault, and its not yours....its just how it is...i am not saying people get off scott free- if you dont like someone forget about them and dont hag around them....for the same reasons.....dont let people be a burden on you, and dont let past hurts stop you from living a hate-free and jealousy free life, because those two things especially change for the worse your every action in life....


you'd be amazed how even your smallest actions can be changed because of hatred, etc.

Dont let those parasites rob you of life....throw off the chains that are holding you down, and see the world again in a beter light.....the world is what you make it, but dont let anything pull you down.

i bet you think you are worth more.



and mate, there is nothing wrong with just wanting to have sex with a girl, nothig at all...

as long as you let her know that is all you want, she can't really get upset about it...

like if you just had casual sex with a girl she would want to end up marrying you if things went well, but if you made it clear thats not what you want, then at least she knows and will not get attached...

i just want to have sex with a lot of te girls i meet, and sometimes, once in a while, comes alog someone i feel i can get to know better, i see them more and under different circumstances.

no one probably told you any of this, but its probably becuse they didnt know themselves.

cheers man

 

[Don Juanabbe]

"You must forgive the people or things that have done whatever they did to you....dont forgive them because you are a bible person, or forgive them because you want to be good....forgive them for you....thats right....forgive them and say while looking in a mirror...(say out loud) "i am not putting up with this shadow on my personality anymore.....i forgive you for what you did to me, and i am forgiving you so i can be free, this is about me now...i dont care what you did or why you did it, that is not important....the only thing that is important is that you did it and you made me have to live with it....but i forgive you in spite of all of that....because i dont want to feel angry or jealous or bitter or frustrated anymore because of you and what you did...it doesnt matter to me anymore, as i will not allow myself to live with those feelings on my heart, they weigh me down, and i deserve to feel better than that, so i forgive you for me, i wont let it bother me anymore.""



Everyone on this site should read this piece of absolutely GOLDEN advice. Wow, excellent stuff man.

 

[arq-dj1]

Re: Re: I am feeling the same way

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
Geoff, you hit the nail right on the head my friend.

Soon there won't be anymore divorces because there won't be any more marriages.

The rising number of young, desperate, single mothers out there is unbelievable, but who wants someone else's sloppy seconds who is most likely an outright b*tch, and who wants to raise someone else's kid? Not me, thanks.

i have no dating exp with american women

however, i do know how it works "up" there...

brazilian women are different, but i think this is something you need to do with every women everywhere....

don't give ur heart to everyone.. but choose one girl who may take care of it, choose wisely at first, but it will come to a point that you gonna have to decide if ur gonna open your heart or not..


playing safe will get u as far as safeness go, which is not that far

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Dude dont worry about it. Chicks are for fags anyway

 

[spider_007]

Originally posted by Mr. Delicious
Dude dont worry about it. Chicks are for fags anyway

NAAAA, I think you ment ****s are for fags.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

just a thought, but it seems like the types of girls you're after have no substance. You are (inadvertantly) bringing this upon yourself.

How do I know?

If the types of girls you are around will hook up with you after a single night, then they will not be looking for a meaningful connection. You are pursuing the wrong types of girls.

I don't know where you would go to fix this, I don't have that problem. My guess is somewhere people may volunteer their time, or some sort of selfless activity like walks for cancer etc. Look for someone more wholesome that can provide you with the substance and depth a booty call cant.