"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Beach Vball Girl and older guy

bob2007

Senior Don Juan
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So... I'm in a meetup group, we play beach vball.

I'm 29 , she's 22, there were guys her age, there were other guys there that were her age, taller and fitter and possibly better looking than me. But she sat down next to me chatted a bit, and not them. She seemed outgoing but reserved, she was probably the youngest there. At one point she said, "this group is 20s and 30s, you must be 30s!" (I shoulda been clean shaven, i'd look 23).

I was a bit shocked by that comment. I didn't get her contact cause the group has some harrasment policy (I don't care about it a whole lot). I thought I could msg her after on the site or next time I see her.

I felt like the convo was lukewarm. Do I build more rapport next time, or do I msg her online thru the site?

A. msg her, build rapport online, get her interested, so I don't have to deal with (male) competition Sunday
B. build more rapport Sunday, because online is less personal
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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apprenticedj

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Wait until you see her again, strike up another conversation and then ask for the number. As n00bPimp has said rapport doesn't create attraction and it's very hard to build attraction via online messaging. She's either digging you or not, did you neg her hard after she commented on your age?
 

VladPatton

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Rapport has it's place, it's for building comfort, so get the number and get the ball rolling. Or of she refuses, you know where you stand.
 

bob2007

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Ya, I didn't send the email... better to just see her friday, at the vball , and there's also Sunday.

I like the coffee idea... keep things simple.

Well... I had one girl part time model attracted to me before, she even kissed me. But we never had good convos... maybe I was too nervous.

I wanted this one to be at ease, wanted to bridge the age gap. I think the attraction should be there.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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apprenticedj

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Bobby let me tell you, 22 vs. 29 isn't really an age gap to be concerned with. Women her age LOVE older, more mature guys, no need to feel odd. You're not robbing the cradle at all.
 
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