Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Be yourself

joecollapoppa

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Who wants to be a don juan? it seems many people give up their individuality and sell out to be with a girl. A girl should like you for who you are because if she finds out later on that you are not who you showed her, she will be pissed off. Im loud roudy, alot of the time the life of the party but thats just who i am. If you wanna
be a don juan do it, improve yourself in areas that need improvement such as confidence, conversation and others, but hold on to who you are. You'll get respect for that no doubt. Even though girls are always picking on me, i think they secretly respect me cuz i stay true to who i am. Im witty, funny, and out going. at the same time i feel that they try to change me into a quiet nervous nerd. but thats my advice fellow don juans, stay in touch wit who u are. Cuz these girls be transformin peeps so fast you'd feel like you were a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers megazord :p
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Dirtheart

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Even though girls are always picking on me
Im loud roudy, alot of the time the life of the party
Cuz these girls be transformin peeps so fast you'd feel like you were a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers megazord

Errr...are you aware that your age says 21. I think you may have got the digits a little mixed up. :)
 

MackJr

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No, being yourself is the worst advice you can give to an aspiring DJ.

there are certain things you have to do to attract women, and if you don't do them, they won't be attracted. Period. If doing those things makes you "not yourself", then don't be yourself.

Rent The Tao of Steve. It explains the whole authenticity thing a lot better.
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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Telling someone to just be themselves is very bad advice if they are doing something wrong. This is what people will always tell you when they don't know what to tell you. It is a worthless mindset that leads to laziness and self pity.

One should always strive to be more than what they are.
 

Seeph

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There is a difference between knowing who you are and being yourself. For example I know who I am, I know what I want out of life, the girls I want, and how I want to be. I am always myself in the fact that I don't walk around acting like I'm a Pimp, or a skater, or a punk, or a prep, or a thug. I act like myself dress how I want when I want do what I want when I want.. Always be yourself and stay true to yourself. But there is always room for improving yourself.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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JT47319

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[repost]

I think the biggest fallacy in this line of thinking is that all it does is reinforce the same behavior and social patterns. This may work well for those already well versed in social conditions, but not if it's reinforcing bad social habits and anti-social behavior.

To use an analogy, imagine you have a playpen full of little toddlers: boys and girls. These little boys and girls interact and grow up together, learning how to play with one another and share one another's toys. Now imagine a boy or two who are OUTSIDE of the playpen looking in. They can see how the other boys are teasing the girls, how the children interact with one another, but they themselves are not picking up the required social skills that would help one subcommunicate to others "Yes, I am part of your play pen and peer group."

To say, "Be Yourself" is simply to ask such a stunted person to exercise almost non-existent social and communication skills.

I myself have always been comfortable in horsing around with girls and flirting with them. But until I seriously got in the game, I would have never even dared give a pretty girl that I had known for all of 10 minutes a noogie, or push her around, or give/receive piggyback rides, or slap her ass, or make fun of her, or speak in sexual innuendos, or invade her physical space, or touch/caress them, or poke her belly, or grab two girls and make them kiss each other, or act very sexual, or pull her hair in a very sexual way, or bite her arm, or have her bite my neck, or push her away, or pick her up and carry her like a child, or play stupid random games with her, and a host of other things.

These are all social skills that a Natural ALREADY learned during the incubation period of the playpen. I mean, do you see how many AFCs on this board there are who have NEVER approached a girl? Close to 75% of this board don't have the balls to do a cold approach. This IS a skillset you can learn, to approach and be comfortable with women. Naturals do this ALL the time. Everything I highlighted are all "techniques" that Naturals have been pulling since forever.
 
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Spike_the_cowboy

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Originally posted by JT47319
To say, "Be Yourself" is simply to ask such a stunted person to exercise almost non-existent social and communication skills.

Exactly. This is the reason why most guys don't approach women in the first place - They never learned how! They become too set in their ways and too lazy to try an approach even if they are told what to do. If they do work up the nerve to go for it, they always seem to fumble by comming on either too strong or too weak.
 
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