Be thankful, be appreciative.

[exhausted]

For a lot of us out there some or most of us here who have dealt with a crazy bipolar or narcissistic girl be thankful you're gone be absolutely thankful and appreciative that you are no longer stuck in that Matrix of Hell of the up and downs the crazy perceptions the mood swings the mood disorders a good day a fun day for no reason will just be ruined and destroyed because of these crazy people. I know it is rough as your mind has been up and down up and down your feelings have been pulled back and forth but be thankful I mean thank God , or thank your own God that you're out, sure it's hard it's very difficult but my God Almighty think about if you are married to one of these girls or live with them you walk on eggshells you can do nothing right you're a constant punching bag, that is no life at all that is a horrible horrible life. Screen and be picky put them through tests and pay attention to their past mistakes and past decisions it shows you what type of person they truly are. You are not judging them you are grading them to be adequate for you as a partner or not so be very very picky and do not lower yourself for anyone. I know firsthand how hard it can be to let an argument go to not stand up for yourself and to not defend yourself of the truth but these girls are absolutely insane and it doesn't matter what you say it does not matter what you do they will always make a problem out of nothing. Be thankful you are out I am thankful that I now can see the light now that I have this toxic person out of my life I actually have Clear Vision. Keep posting keep asking and keep listening to all the other posters here that are helpful this place is an absolute Sanctuary it is a godsend. I appreciate everyone here that has helped me.

 

[Billtx49]

Very well worded post. True detachment from these women does indeed bring happiness, clarity, and peace of mind with it.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

There is nothing more attractive to a certain kind of women than a man with a natural air of gratitude about him. All is well with the world, he walks lightly upon it, he cares little for himself - and in doing so, notices the right kind of women noticing him.

 

[Julian]

wall. of. text.

you need to edit this post bruh, i like the thread title and im sure you have some good info in there but please post up in paragraphs..

 

[ubercat]

I had a hilarious conversation with the girlfriend this morning along similar lines. I'm showing her the clip of that classic line from the movie As Good As It Gets how do you write women so well. Literally 8 minutes later she asked me something about an ex. I said all in the past. She kept pushing and when I pointed out that this was likely to lead to her cracking out. Then she said in the same breath of course if you go on about it too much and I will crack out.

So if I cracked and answered her questions then it would be my fault when she was angry.

I was r o f l at her just having proved the point from the movie. And of course she didn't get the joke.

 

[exhausted]

wall. of. text.

you need to edit this post bruh, i like the thread title and im sure you have some good info in there but please post up in paragraphs..

Will do. Sorry.
Voice to text.

 

[Three]

Agree with the editing request, but exhausted you are absolutely right. I definitely DO thank God every day that I'm no longer with my BPD ex-wife. I've probably posted about that relationship here a few years ago, but I had to go to a shrink to tell me she made me crazy and that I should basically go ghost. It was tough for a while, but as soon as I put some distance (and some plates) between us, I was about 90% there. It took about a year or so of getting my head straight and dating other girls to get to a good place.

 

[exhausted]

Agree with the editing request, but exhausted you are absolutely right. I definitely DO thank God every day that I'm no longer with my BPD ex-wife. I've probably posted about that relationship here a few years ago, but I had to go to a shrink to tell me she made me crazy and that I should basically go ghost. It was tough for a while, but as soon as I put some distance (and some plates) between us, I was about 90% there. It took about a year or so of getting my head straight and dating other girls to get to a good place.

Glad to hear you moved on i know how rough their abuse is..

 

[XFORCE]

True detachment from these women does indeed bring happiness, clarity, and peace of mind with it.

Totally agree with this. I'm wondering (in a chicken or the egg kind of way), though, how does true detachment happen if you catch feelings for a woman?

 

[Three]

Totally agree with this. I'm wondering (in a chicken or the egg kind of way), though, how does true detachment happen if you catch feelings for a woman?

If it's bad enough that you have to exit, you just have to go ghost. NC is the only thing that works if a woman is truly irredeemable and you have feelings...

 

[XFORCE]

If it's bad enough that you have to exit, you just have to go ghost. NC is the only thing that works if a woman is truly irredeemable and you have feelings...

Mental illness is no joke. I'm getting such an education between her and this forum. I'm starting to see inconsistencies in behavior and stories she tells, (just happened a few minutes ago). Going NC on her immediately. She says she hates lying but this blatant hypocrisy is a true slap in the face.

 

[resilient]

Great thread, @exhausted. Some thoughts:

Believe me, I'm happy to be divorced from the NPD ex-wife.

I've written about my experience in other threads. For me, the separation/divorce was a fog lifting moment. I was a shadow of a person that lived with a broken silent soul for years as I faked it to my family, friends, and the world that I was happy with a forced smile when I entered the room. They weren't naive though, for they knew I was depressed, emasculated, and frustrated in my former marriage.

The last two years for me has been a rebuilding period. I've talked to many guys here to shed the beta moves I was making. I attended divorce support groups and individual counseling to forgive and move on. I took up many hobbies, hit the gym hard, and began spinning plates after a near-decade absence from the dating scene.

Meanwhile, I was quickly replaced by another quiet introverted "Yes man" that she conveniently moved in with after her lease was up on the condo that she rented during the separation.

Women are funny. I don't think they use as much introspection as we men do to fix the interpersonal problems that contributed to the former relationship... they just carry on with the next ready and willing branch like nothing ever happened. I suppose it's akin to a high-level Don Juan living in abundance and having a nice steady flow of plate rotation. If plates often and regularly enter his life... why would he feel the need to do a grand sweeping change to attract new mates? Make sense when you think about it... The ole adage, "if it ain't broke, why fix it?" A successful mating strategy is a well-oiled machine.

Thanks to the forum, I've improved in screening and filtering low-quality plates. I've come out of my shell and while I'm still single now, I look forward to whatever life experiences are in store around the corner.

I'm thriving and striving toward a career change that's mid-way through the transition.

Life gets better guys when you apply yourself. Don't give into despair when you hit a few roadblocks in your DJ journey. Keep pushing forward in life. Endure! Don't give up on yourself. You're worth it.

A man should always have the backbone to exercise his ability to walk away and count his blessings for not staying with someone who that may not have been emotionally and mentally healthy for him. This isn't to say he didn't contribute to her behavior because her behavior is often a mirror reflection of his internal state, she most likely will come equipped with baggage if she rode the CC in her 20s that may sabotage her ability form a healthy pair-bond.

 

[That_dude]

Amen bros